Why Am I Crying?

Writer(s) Rated Ponystar
Date published March 25, 2013-May 13, 2015
Words 64,552
Status Complete
Type/genre Sad
Featuring Cutie Mark Crusaders
Diamond Tiara
Silver Spoon
Story link(s)
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Why Am I Crying? is a fan fiction by Rated Ponystar.

The story takes place between Seasons 3 & 4. Many of the themes and implications addressed in the story were proven inaccurate with the Season 5 episode "Crusaders of the Lost Mark". As the story was bring written, some elements from later episodes of the series were written into the story.


Diamond Tiara tragically dies in an accident. As Ponyville mourns the loss of one of their own, the Cutie Mark Crusaders clash on what they are thinking now that their greatest enemy is gone forever.

  • Apple Bloom is wracked with guilt because she wished something bad would happen to Diamond Tiara the night she died. While visiting Rich Mansion, she finds Tiara's diary and is curious to know as to how and why she became a bully and antagonized her and her friends.
  • Sweetie Belle becomes frightened by the concept of death and the fragility of life, and she starts having nightmares related to them. But one night, she receives a visit from a special friend to help her come to terms with her fears.
  • Scootaloo doesn't want to care about Diamond Tiara on account of all the rotten things she's done. But when she hears startling revelations about her former bully as well as other ponies, she discovers another side to her nemesis and has an internal conflict as to whether she wants to forgive Tiara or not.


Each of the Crusaders' story arcs contains an underlying moral.

  • Apple Bloom learns that it's "better to cry with friends than to cry alone". Part of the reason Diamond Tiara became who she was was because her father Filthy Rich wouldn't let her cry with him when her mother Crystal Eyes died because she looked so much like her. Also, Apple Bloom mentions the times when her family shyed away from talking about how her parents died becuase they couldn't stand remembering what happened that day.
  • Sweetie Belle learns to accept death and make the most of her happy life. She initially fears death and becomes very introverted about her eventual fate, but then Princess Luna takes her into the dreams of a cancer-ridden colt named Shoestring Catch, who teaches her that she should make the best of her lfie, especially since she's healthy and young with ponies who care about her.
  • Scootaloo learns not to let her anger and hatred consume her and turn her into a horrible pony. Scootaloo initially doesn't want to care about Diamond Tiara's death because of all the horrible things she did to her and her friends, and she holds a grudge against her mother for leaving her and her father when she was younger. Also, Miss Cheerilee tells her about her time her middle school when bullies targeted her for her cutie mark, which made her hate who she was turn from a sweet filly into a horrible bully.


The story is told from a third-person point of view, made up of twelve chapters, with each of the Cutie Mark Crusaders having four chapters each told from their points of view. Quotes rendered in italics represent what the Crusaders are thinking about what's going on around them.


  • The atrocities Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon suffered at the corrupt summer camp are based on actual incidents that occurred at a camp where a friend of the author's was a councilor at.
  • The third chapter of Sweetie Belle's arc is dedicated to a friend of the author's who died of cancer.

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