the spiderses
Spiderses by yu jie-d475ndh

Writer(s) Argembarger
Date published August 9, 2011
Words 2,650
Type/genre Horror
Featuring Twilight Sparkle
Big Macintosh
the spiderses, commonly known just as Spiderses, is a self-described "trollfic" expressly written to parody terribly-written fanfics and to highlight common clichés.[1]


The text is littered with typos, spelling mistakes, grammatical errors, and misused words. Punctuation is inconsistent, run-on sentences are frequent and a repetitive sentence structure is common. There is excessive use of polysyndetic coordination and a lack of logical coherence, and the narrator takes a lot of time spelling out the obvious or admitting that he or she is unsure how to continue telling the story. The original deviantArt version includes emoticons.


Twilight Sparkle asks Spike to help her find a magic spell. After he does so, she sends him away and casts the spell. Following a release of magical energy, Twilight has been turned into a spider, and so has Big Macintosh, who happened to be nearby. He asks if she can reverse the spell; the sentence breaks off before she can give him her answer.

When the next bit of narration sets in, Big Mac has come to terms with the fact that the two will forever remain spiders, so he suggests they have "spider sex". They proceed to do so, which leaves Twilight with a funny feeling in her belly and Big Mac with the idea that the two should live together from hereon out.

After a while, Twilight, who has become pregnant, lays a great many eggs, which eventually hatch and turn into spiderlings -- so many they soon "cover every surface of the library". The spiderlings find Spike, who had remained in the building hoping for Twilight's return, and suck him dry, killing him.

The baby spiders continue to crawl all over the library and do not heed Big Macintosh's call. Twilight has an idea and tells him he must throw her into the throng, which he does. Even this does not calm the spiderlings, however, and they push out of the library into the streets, carrying Twilight along on their backs.

All the ponies that see them run away terrified, except for one, who carries a spider of her own on top of her head. That spider, called Miriam Webster, admonishes the spiderlings. This quiets them down, and they finally listen to their mother. Twilight complains that her friend Spike was killed, which the spiderlings respond to by going back to the library and disgorging "all his juice", resurrecting him.

The spiderlings are sent away to live in the Everfree Forest, and Miriam Webster reveals that she is a wizard who can turn both Twilight and Big Macintosh back into ponies. They take her up on the offer.

The story then abruptly shifts to a first-person perspective. Twilight meets "Argembarger" in a supposed self-insertion by the author, fawns over him and suggests they spend some time alone together. The author declines, having better things to do than consort with Twilight Sparkle.

Before the narrator thanks the reader for reading the story in the final sentence, Twilight dictates a friendship report to Spike. It informs Princess Celestia that Twilight has learned that "spiders are creepy, but being a spider is better than being dead".

Derivative works

The story has resulted in many pieces of fan art and numerous readings of the story. One unique reading is the illustrated Rainbow Dash Presents: Spiderses, the fourth episode of the Rainbow Dash Presents series, in which the fic's plot is treated as a serious drama.

External links


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