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Episode 1

     
[FADE IN: EXT. STORYBOARD - DAY A magical book opens. Celestia Narrates.]

Celestia: Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria. There were two regal princesses who ruled all. The older princess was so powerful that she could raise and lower the sun. The other one... de... kinda sucked. Actually, let's talk about the sun raising one for a moment. You know, just... that's the sun she's raising. The sun. I mean, do you know how much the sun weighs? It's a lot. Okay, I totally got off topic. I’m so sorry. Uh… Thus they created harmony throughout the land. Then one day, the younger princess became jealous of the older Princess's god like powers. And she was all like, I hate you so much... you’re going down, and the older one was like no... you’re going down, idiot. Then, like they like argue for a bit. Then the older one's like "oh my god what is that!?" "What where?" And then zap! The older one zaps her while she's not looking. After successfully deceiving the younger princess, the older princess sent her to the moon for 1000 years to....

[Twilight stops reading the book and speaks.]

Twilight Sparkle: What the, okay who the heck wrote this, a five year old.


[CUT TO: EXT. CLOUDS - DAY Spike and Twilight are flying to Ponyville.]

Spike: Hi. My name's Spike. What's your name?

Twilight Sparkle: Twilight.

Spike: Ha. Nice to meet you.

Twilight Sparkle: Nice to meet you too.

Spike: So I guess we're going to be roomies?

Twilight Sparkle: Ya I. [Cut off by Spike]

Spike: I tell yah. You’re bunking with an awesome roommate. I do the dishes, clean, and cook.

Twilight Sparkle: Wow. That's great. [Cut off by Spike again]

Spike: Ya I know... It’s pretty sweet. So why are you moving here anyway.

Twilight Sparkle: Well actually I got special orders from the princess. I becoming like her top apprentice now. So it’s… I don’t know, it's awesome. Uh, we're going to be living at the library right? Do you know where it is?

Spike: Oh ya, I got it covered.


[CUT TO: EXT. FARM - DAY Both Spike and Twilight are walking.]

Spike: According to the map, the library should be right here.

[They come up to a barn.]

Twilight Sparkle: Uh... You sure.

Spike: Positive.

[Both give a start as Applejack speaks.]

Applejack: Yeeehaaa!

[Applejack bucks apples down from a tree. Twilight walks over to Applejack.]

Twilight Sparkle: Hey. Hi. sorry, we're new here. Could you possible tell us where we are?

Applejack: Why certainly. You are standing in my magic mango tree forest.

Twilight Sparkle: Your what now?

Applejack: My magic mango tree forest. Ain't it beautiful?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh... Well it's nice... um but…

Applejack: But what?

Twilight Sparkle: Well… They look like apples?

Applejack: What now?

Twilight Sparkle: I said they look like apples.

Applejack: Weh.

Twilight Sparkle: Actually I, um...I think they are apples.

Applejack: Ah don't be silly. Those are mangos.

Twilight Sparkle: No I don't think so.

Applejack: Can't you tell the difference?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh, ya I can... It’s just like… those are apples, not mangos.

[Pause.]

Applejack: Say! You're new here, aren't you?

Twilight Sparkle: Ya. That's what I said…

Applejack: You want to meet the family?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh no.


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Twilight and Spike are walking along a path.]

Twilight Sparkle: [Sigh] I hope there aren't any other crazy ponies like that running around.

[The Bird crashes into Twilight.]

The Bird: Hello. I am known as… the bird. Let me fix your hair.

[She dries her off.]

The Bird: There.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh?

The Bird: Hello.

Twilight Sparkle: Hi?

The Bird: Hello.

Twilight Sparkle: Um.

[She looks at Twilight.]

The Bird: I can clear the sky of clouds really fast.

Twilight Sparkle: That’s… Uh.

[The Bird clears up the sky extremely quickly.]

The Bird: Done.

[Pause. Twilight's mouth is open.]

The Bird: I'm going to go now. Goodbye.

Twilight Sparkle: What the fu [Cut off by next scene]


[CUT TO: INT. RARITY’S BOUTIQUE - DAY Spike and Twilight enter the house.]

Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, right? What was it, Rarity?

Rarity: Mmhm. Ya.

Twilight Sparkle: Rarity, could you please tell us where the library is? Because my friend here is too stubborn to let me look at the map.

Rarity: Um... Do you uh... Do you want to buy a dress.

Twilight Sparkle: What? Uh. No... Not really.

Rarity: Are you sure. Cause, you need one... Gorgeous. The summer sun celebration is coming up. And you need one for that.

Twilight Sparkle: No, I'm fine. I have one probably…

Rarity: Say you look hungry…

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: Really.

Rarity: I have some leftover Spegettinoodles... um because uh... I baked too much today…

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, well that's very generous of you.

Rarity: I know.

Twilight Sparkle: Yah, but I... wait, did you say baked.

Rarity: Uh, yah…

Twilight Sparkle: You baked noodles?

Rarity: Spegettinoodles. Yes.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay... You baked speg... You don't bake Spegettinoodles.

Rarity: Uh, ya you do.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh no you don't. You. I don’t know, you like put them in a pot of water.

Rarity: Oh no! No. No… No. You don't put them in water.

Twilight Sparkle: You don't put them in water?

Rarity: No... No… No.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay fine, how do you make these noodles then.

Rarity: Uh, Spegettinoodles.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh fine. Spegettinoodles. How do you make Spegettinoodles?

Rarity: Okay, well... uh... you put the… you get the Spegettinoodles.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay.

Rarity: And you… uh… you put them in a box.

Twilight Sparkle: Alright.

Rarity: And you uh… You put them in the oven.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay…

Rarity: And uh......... well you bake um....

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: Okay....


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Twilight and Spike are walking again.]

Twilight Sparkle: This town is really starting to get on my nerves. Look can I just see the map? I just want to go home.

Spike: Ha. Twilight. Don't you trust me? I got this. Besides, you have no opposable thumbs.

Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, well that may be… Oh no, there's another one.

[Twilight shouts at Fluttershy.]

Twilight Sparkle: Hi!

Fluttershy: Gasp!

Twilight Sparkle: Oh jeez. Okay, look. I was just wondering, do you happen to know where the library is?

[Pause…]

Twilight Sparkle: Hello?

Fluttershy: [Scream]

Twilight Sparkle: Yep…

[Twilight goes back to Spike.]

Twilight Sparkle: Spike, give me the map.

Spike: But you don't have. [Cut off by Twilight]

Twilight Sparkle: I don't care. Give me the map.

[Scene cuts to them in front of the house.]

Twilight Sparkle: Oh look! I found the house in like, 2 minutes! What a big freak-in surprise that was! Now if you'll excuse me! I'm going to bed!


[CUT TO: INT. LIBRARY - NIGHT A party is going on downstairs. Twilight tosses and turns in her bed. Spike comes in.]

Spike: Aw Twi, you gotta come downstairs and see what Berry Punch is doing.

Twilight Sparkle: No I don't! What the hell are you doing down there!?

Spike: Having a big welcoming party. You should come down... and see what Berry Punch is doing.

Twilight Sparkle: No! I just want to sleep!

Spike: Twi... Live a little. You don't get through life by sleeping. At least come down stairs and have some food.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh! Just go away!

Spike: Twi, come on. I'm trying to be nice to you.

Twilight Sparkle: Well I appreciate that, but…

Spike: It's also the eve of the summer sun celebration, so you have to stay up. It's tradition.

Twilight Sparkle: Ah jeez.

Spike: Actually, we should probably get going. It's almost morning. Don't want to miss the sunrise.

Twilight Sparkle: Fine!


[CUT TO: INT. TOWN HALL - NIGHT They are in a large room with lots of ponies. Pinkie comes over and starts talking to Twilight.]

Pinkie Pie: Hey, how are you doing. Twilight right. Ya... I'm Pinkie Pie. Finally I get some screen time. I mean, what gives? I do happen to be one of the main characters. Seriously?

Mayor Mare: Uh excuse me. Quiet down! Alright everybody. Listen up. Hey! You in the back. Shut up. Thank you. Jeez. I would like to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration.

[There is cheering from the crowd.]

Mayor Mare: Yes thank you. Now in just a few moments, Celestia will raise the sun; on this, the longest day of the year... And now without further ado, Princess Celestia.

[The curtain opens and Celestia is gone. The crowd gasps.]

Twilight Sparkle: That can't good.

Pinkie Pie: Ooh. I know this part. I read the script.

[Nightmare Moon Appears.]

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Nightmare Moon: Oh, my beloved subjects... It's been so long since i've seen your sun loving faces! [Cut off by the Mayor]

Mayor Mare: Uh excuse me? Who the heck are you supposed to be?

Nightmare Moon: I whoa... I am Nightmare Moon…

[Pause…]

Nightmare Moon: Nightmare Moon? Anypony? Nothing?

[Pause…]

Nightmare Moon: Oh mother of me!

The Bird: Wait, are you like some kind of god or something?

Nightmare Moon: No. Really? What gave you that idea?

The Bird: Uh, well the…

Mayor Mare: Uh hello? Sorry, but "nightmare Moon" doesn't answer my question. You can't just burst in here at random and just expect us to know who you are.

Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, you kinda just came out of nowhere.

Nightmare Moon: Oh really? Out of all the ponies in the room, you Twilight, have no idea who I am?

Twilight Sparkle: No, should I?

Nightmare Moon: You missed the whole hourglass foreshadowing thing? And the book?

Pinkie Pie: Oh, I think those parts was cut out.

Nightmare Moon: Are you kidding me? Are you seriously telling me, there was no foreshadowing to back me up? That freakin sucks!

Pinkie Pie: Ya, I feel yah. Most of my parts were cut out too.

Nightmare Moon: Oh please, you have no idea what I am going through!

Pinkie Pie: Uh, ya I do. I am a main character.

Nightmare Moon: No your not. You’re just some friend. I'm the main villain. The story needs an antagonist. You need proper setup for a villain! [Cut off by Twilight]

Twilight Sparkle: Uh sorry to interrupt, but can someone please explain to me what the hey is going on? Because I am really confused now.

Nightmare Moon: Oh I'm soooo sorry! Other ponies have problems too you know. It's not all about you Twilight!

Pinkie Pie: Uh, actually it kinda is.

Nightmare Moon: Shut up... You knew what I meant.

The Bird: Ye... What?

Twilight Sparkle: Wait a second. Weren't you in that one book of the two princesses?

Nightmare Moon: Yes! Oh for! How did you not remember that!?

Twilight Sparkle: Well it wasn't a very good book.

Nightmare Moon: Okay, that's it! I'm done here. This is ridiculous. Eternal night for all of you!

[She leaves in a blaze of lightning and thunder.]

Twilight Sparkle: Wha?

[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 2

     
[Previously on Scootertrix the Abridged]

Celestia: Two regal princesses.

You’re going down!

Idiot!

Sent her to the moon!

Twilight Sparkle: Who the heck wrote this!?

Spike: My name’s Spike.

Twilight Sparkle: Twilight.

Uh, do you know where it is?

Spike: Oh ya.

The library should be right here.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh… You sure?

Spike: Positive.

Applejack: Those are mangos.

Twilight Sparkle: I hope there aren't any other crazy ponies like that.

The Bird: Hello.

I’m going to go now.

Rarity: Speggetinoodles!

Twilight Sparkle: Really Starting to get on my nerves.

Spike: No opposable thumbs.

Fluttershy: [Whimpered]

Twilight Sparkle: Found the house in like 2 minutes!

Hell are you doing down there!?

Spike: Having a big welcoming party.

Twilight Sparkle: Fine.

Pinkie Pie: I’m Pinkie Pie.

Mayor Mare: Shut up.

Summer Sun Celebration.

Celestia.

Nightmare Moon: Nightmare Moon!

Mayor Mare: The heck are you supposed to be?

Nightmare Moon: Sup!

Eternal night for all of you!


[FADE IN: INT. TWILIGHT'S HOUSE - NIGHT Twilight is walking around the room.]

Twilight Sparkle: That's it. I'm leaving. The sooner I get out of Ponyville, the better.

[There is a crashing sound.]

The Bird: Hello.

Twilight Sparkle: Ah! Freak! The Bird... What are you doing in my house?

Applejack: We need you to help us defeat Nightmare Moon.

Twilight Sparkle: De da. What?

The Bird: Nightmare Moon. She must be stopped.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes de... Get out of my house. All of you!

Pinkie Pie: But if you don't help us, she'll bring about everlasting night!

Twilight Sparkle: Wait what? You mean she was actually serious about that?

Pinkie Pie: Yes! What did you think she meant?

Twilight Sparkle: I don't know. I thought it was like some lame insult or something.

Pinkie Pie: No!

Twilight Sparkle: Well, what are we going to do!?

Pinkie Pie: The only things that can stop her, are the elements of Harmony.

Twilight Sparkle: The what?

Pinkie Pie: They're in this book.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay… The Elements of Harmony consist of 6 elements. Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, Laughter, and Generosity. The 6th element, is complete mystery.

Pinkie Pie: It's magic.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay... Together, they create the power of friendship... Is this a joke... did like.

Pinkie Pie: Just keep reading.

Twilight Sparkle: Fine… The last known location of the elements of Harmony was in the Everfree forest.


[CUT TO: EXT. FOREST - NIGHT The main 6 stands outside the forest.]

All of Them: The Everfree forest!

Twilight Sparkle: [Sigh] Let's get this over with.

Applejack: It's gonna be a long and dangerous journey. But one I feel will bring us all, closer together.

Twilight Sparkle: Well how bad can it be?


[CUT TO: EXT. CLIFFSIDE - NIGHT [1] A manticore shows up.]

Twilight Sparkle: Oh for the love of…

Fluttershy: Oh my god. A monster! We're all gonna die!

Twilight Sparkle: Whoa, calm down, uh yellow…

Fluttershy: Fluttershy.

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy.


[CUT TO: EXT. RIVER - NIGHT [1] The main 6 approach a river.]

Steven Magnet: Ah. Rarity... My arch nemesis. We meet again.

Rarity: Steven Magnet. We meet again.

Steven Magnet: Ya... I just said that.


[CUT TO: EXT. FOREST - NIGHT [1] Evil trees surround them.]

All of Them: [Gasp and scream]

Pinkie Pie: Guys, it's okay. All we need to do is laugh at them. Then they'll go away.

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: What?


[CUT TO: EXT. BRIDGE - NIGHT [1] Rainbow-dash flies over. She stops and hears a voice.]

Shadow Bolts: Join us The Bird, and together we will become the greatest areal team in all of Equestria.

Twilight Sparkle: The Bird! Stop talking to the apparitions and fix the dam bridge!


[CUT TO: EXT. CLIFFSIDE - NIGHT [2]]

Fluttershy: And the last thing I said to my mother, was I hate you.

Twilight Sparkle: Arg! Not helping.


[CUT TO: EXT. RIVER - NIGHT [2]]

Rarity: Steven Magnet... Do you uh… Do you want to buy a dress?

Steven Magnet: NO! God! Stop asking me that!


[CUT TO: EXT. CLIFF - NIGHT [1] Twilight is hanging from a cliff.]

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack! Don't you dare let me go.

Applejack: I'm, i'm sorry sugar cube, you’re really heavy.

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, I swear! If you drop me.

[Applejack drops her.]

Twilight Sparkle: Dam it!


[CUT TO: EXT. FOREST - NIGHT [2] The win 6 stand amongst trees with faces on them. All the characters are laughing at the trees so that the trees will vanish. Pinkie is inside a tree laughing.]

Pinkie Pie: Come on guys, we almost got them.

All of Them: Whoa no! No!

Pinkie Pie: What?

Twilight Sparkle: Don't laugh while you’re inside the mouth.

Pinkie Pie: Oh wow, jeez. Wow. That was incredibly stupid. Thanks guys.


[CUT TO: EXT. BRIDGE - NIGHT [2]]

Twilight Sparkle: Don't make me come over there!

[The shadow bolt makes the fog thicker.]

Shadow Bolts: Don't listen to her.

Twilight Sparkle: The Bird! Bridge! Now!

Shadow Bolts: What, wait!? Why can we still hear her?

Twilight Sparkle: Oh what? You think fog is going to stifle my voice?

[Pause.]

Shadow Bolts: Ya.

Twilight Sparkle: [Sigh] Have you ever heard of the concept of, I don't know, physics?


[CUT TO: EXT. RIVER - NIGHT [3]]

Steven Magnet: I hate you so much! You suck! You!

[Rarity takes off one of Steven Magnet's scales, and cuts him with it.]

Steven Magnet: Oh my god!

[Steven Magnet collapses into the water.]


[CUT TO: EXT. CLIFFSIDE - NIGHT [3]]

Fluttershy: I mean, why would he do that!? Why would he do that!?

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy! Oh my freaking god! Shut up!


[CUT TO: EXT. CASTLE - NIGHT The main 6 stand outside the old castle.]

Twilight Sparkle: Wow. That was the stupidest, most long, annoying quest ever.


[CUT TO: INT. CASTLE - NIGHT]

Twilight Sparkle: Finally, there they are.

[Rainbow dash and Fluttershy begin to place the elements on the floor.]

Twilight Sparkle: Now we have to figure out how to activate these things.

[Rarity makes smacking noises.]

Rarity: [Smacking noises]

Twilight Sparkle: Can. Can you all leave for a moment please. I need to concentrate.

[They all leave. The stones begin to move.]

Twilight Sparkle: [Gasp]

All of Them: Twilight!

Applejack: Sugarcube!

[They all rush inside. Twilight is gone.]

Applejack: Sugarcube! She's gone!

Rarity: No she's not. She's right over there.


[CUT TO: INT. CASTLE - NIGHT Twilight has been transported to another part of the castle.]

Twilight Sparkle: [Gasp]

Nightmare Moon: I'll just take care of these.

[Nightmare Moon destroys the elements.]

Nightmare Moon: Ha, ha ha... Nothing can stop me now. The night... shall last... forever! Ha ha ha.

Twilight Sparkle: Nighttime, forever... Wait. Without the sun, wouldn't all your royal subjects freeze to death?

Nightmare Moon: Ah…

Twilight Sparkle: And then you wouldn't have anyone to talk to.

Nightmare Moon: Ah well hmmmm…

Twilight Sparkle: And eventually this will all be a barren wasteland... Kinda like the moon.

Nightmare Moon: Silence! This is revenge! I WANT the world to suffer! And with the elements destroyed, nothing can stop me!

[In the distance. The main 6 are coming up the stairs.]

All of Them: Twilight!

Applejack: Sugarcube!

[Twilight realizes something.]

Twilight Sparkle: You’re wrong.

Nightmare Moon: Really?

Twilight Sparkle: The elements may be destroyed, but their spirit still remains!

[The elements rise from the ground.]

Nightmare Moon: What!?

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, with her blunt honesty in telling me that I was too heavy, represents the spirit of Honesty! Pinkie Pie, laughing in the face of danger, represents the spirit of Laughter! Rarity, though facing her arch nemesis, still felt that she could give him a dress, so she represents the spirit of... Generosity! The Bird, though taking like 30 minutes, still eventually came back to us and fixed the bridge. So she represents Loyalty! And, Fluttershy... is kindness I guess.

Fluttershy: [Whimpered]

Twilight Sparkle: And I'm the spirit of magic. Together, we have the power of... Friendship!

Nightmare Moon: The, the power of what?

Twilight Sparkle: The power of... please don't make me say it again.

Nightmare Moon: Did you say the power of friendship?

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: Ya.

Nightmare Moon: That's it? That's your big super weapon? Friendship, that, what?

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: I…

Nightmare Moon: Friendship? What the hell is that going to do to me?

Twilight Sparkle: Um....

Nightmare Moon: Oh what, you going to be friends at me. Is that it? You gonna be friends at me.

Twilight Sparkle: No.

Nightmare Moon: [Sarcastically] Oh. We're being friends soooo hard right now!

Twilight Sparkle: Shut up! I… Shut up! I've read that there's a powerful beam involved.

Nightmare Moon: Oh what? Is it like a rainbow colored death ray?

[The main 6 shoots a rainbow colored death ray at nightmare moon.]

Nightmare Moon: [Sarcastically] Oh look! It's a rainbow colored death ray! Wow! I didn't see that coming!

[The ray hits her.]

Nightmare Moon: Ow. Wow, that actually kinda hurts. Uh. My eyes. My eyes! They burn me! Ga! My mind! My mind! It's melting! Ga! It's seeping into my mouth! Gla! Oh god, I can taste it.... Gulp. Uh!!! I swallowed some… Ah!

[The room is blinded by light. Every pony is lying on the ground, momentarily unconscious. Then they start to get up.]

Applejack: Wow. de, wow.

Twilight Sparkle: Is every pony okay?

Applejack: I don't think so.

Pinkie Pie: [Bouncing up and down] I am!

All of Them: [Gasp]

[Suddenly a light comes in through the window as night becomes day.]

Celestia: [Hits the window] Naah. Darn it.

[Celestia appears to them in an epic display of light.]

Celestia: Kneel! Kneel before your princess!

Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia!

Celestia: Ah... Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. I knew you could do it.

Twilight Sparkle: Do what?

Celestia: Defeat my sister, Luna.

Pinkie Pie: Hey, wait a minute... Why couldn't you stop your sister?

Celestia: Hey, what did I just say?

Pinkie Pie: To, kneel.

Celestia: That's right. Are you incapable of kneeling?

Pinkie Pie: Well, no.

Celestia: Then shut up.

Pinkie Pie: But where were you this whole time? Why didn't you intervene?

Celestia: I don't need to explain myself to a peasant. What's-its. Maybe I was imprisoned. Huh? Maybe I was captured. Did you think about that? Did you think about that? Balloon Girl.

Pinkie Pie: But she just came back from the moon, right? I don't think she would be strong enough to fight you, let alone actually capture you.

Celestia: Darn it... Well maybe she took me by surprise.

Pinkie Pie: But you said you KNEW Twilight could do it, implying that you KNEW that this was going to happen. Couldn't you like, mobilize the military or?

Celestia: Shut up! I didn't come here to argue with a pink lunatic! Which reminds me.

[Celestia walks over to Luna. Luna looks up in fear.]

Celestia: Luna.

Luna: [Gasp]

Celestia: Long time no see… Hmmm... I think you have been punished enough. You've learned your lesson.

Luna: Oh thank you Celestia.

Celestia: Ah ah ah. First you must say that you’re sorry.

Luna: Uh... okay... I'm sorry.

Celestia: There we go, that wasn't so hard was it?... Now I forgive you.

Pinkie Pie: Wait, you sent her to the MOON, and you make HER apologize?

Celestia: God! What is your problem. Another peep out of you, and I'll send you to the moon. Come on Luna. Let's go home. Oh and Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes Princess?

Celestia: I will be giving you your official assignment shortly. Like in the next few days or something.

Twilight Sparkle: Thank you princess.


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Twilight is reading something.]

Twilight Sparkle: She wants me to stay here and study what??????


[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 3

     
[FADE IN: EXT. APPLE ORCHARD - DAY Applejack and Twilight Sparkle are walking back to the barn, carrying apples. Spike is sitting on Twilight's back.]

Spike: [During the following conversation] No. No. No. No.

Applejack: Thank you kindly for helping me out, Sugar.

Twilight Sparkle: Don't mention it. I'm gonna give this friendship thing my all. I have total trust in Celestia.

Spike: Lame.

Twilight Sparkle: Please Spike. The Princess is very wise and powerful. Everything she does, is for a reason.

Spike: Ha. She's not as wise and powerful as you think.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh, ya she is.

[Suddenly, The Bird crashes down on them.]

Twilight Sparkle and Applejack: Ga!

The Bird: Hello. What are YOU doing here; In this apple forest.

Twilight Sparkle: It's called an orchard.

Applejack: Uh, it is a MANGO GROVE. And The Bird! I thought you told me, you were too busy to help pick mangos today. What were you busy doing?

The Bird: These are Mangos?

Applejack: Yah.

The Bird: They look like apples.

Applejack: Well they're not! They're MANGOS!

The Bird: No. No. These are apples.

Applejack: The Bird. Your pushing my buttons!

The Bird: It's not even the right climate for Mangos.

Applejack: Oh that is it! You want to go the Fruit Loop!

The Bird: My name is the bird.

Applejack: It's Skittles now!

The Bird: Well maybe you'd like to taste the rainbow, when I punch your face.

Applejack: Bring it Gumdrop!

Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Wow. Let's just chill.


[CUT TO: INT. CASTLE - DAY Shows and establishing shot of Celestia's castle, with eerie music.]

Celestia: Uh. Your looking better. The color has come back to you.

Luna: Ya. Well, i'm not on the moon anymore.

Celestia: Ah yes... Of course. Yes.

[Pause.]

Celestia: I've got to send some invitations out today.

Luna: What for?

Celestia: For the Grand Galloping Gala!

Luna: Oh. That's kinda a ways off isn't it?

Celestia: Uh... Couple Months.

Luna: It's been a long time since I attended the Grand Galloping Gala.

Celestia: Whoa. Luna. What the heck?

Luna: What!?

Celestia: You’re saying it all wrong.

Luna: Saying what all wrong.

Celestia: The Grand Galloping Gala! You have to say it with an umph.

Luna: An Umph?

Celestia: An UMPH!

Celestia: You have to MEAN it.

Luna: Okay.

Celestia: Dow... Hang on. I have to send an invitation to Twilight real quick. Hang on.


[CUT TO: EXT. APPLE ORCHARD - DAY Twilight, Spike and Applejack are still in the orchard.]

Twilight Sparkle: Okay goodbye.

The Bird: Goodbye.

Twilight Sparkle and Applejack: Goodbye. Goodbye?

The Bird: Goodbye.

Twilight Sparkle: Goodbye!

The Bird: [Quieter] Goodbye.

Twilight Sparkle: God!

[The Bird flies away.]

Twilight Sparkle: Is she gone? Okay, she's gone. Okay good.

Applejack: Finally.

Twilight Sparkle: Where'd she get the sass?

Applejack: I don't know, but Sally was lucky you were here to hold me back. I would have pulverized her.

Twilight Sparkle: Sally?

[Spike coughs up a letter.]

Spike: Oh god. Uh...

Twilight Sparkle: The hell is that?

Spike: Oh my god. I through up a letter? I don't even remember eating that. It says, Dear Twilight, this is Princess Celestia speaking. I cordially invite you to this years Grand Galloping Gala! Attached are two tickets.

Twilight Sparkle and Applejack: The Grand Galloping Gala!

Spike: The hell. Why did she send the letter like that? That felt awful.

Twilight Sparkle: Well Spike that's actually a power Dragons have.

Spike: What? Since when?

Twilight Sparkle: Since, always.

Spike: That's stupid! How does that even work!?

Twilight Sparkle: Magic.

Spike: What?

Twilight Sparkle: Look at the bright side. You have an invitation to go to the Grand Galloping Gala.

Spike: No way am I going to a dance hosted by Celestia.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Okay... I'm sorry that she was thoughtful enough to invite you! Applejack. Would you like to go to the Grand Galloping Gala with me?

Applejack: Really?

Twilight Sparkle: Ya. What are friends for?

Applejack: Gee, I don't know. I gotta a lot of Mangos to harvest this season. Can you give me time to consider?

Twilight Sparkle: Sure.


[CUT TO: INT. CASTLE - DAY Shows and establishing shot of Celestia's castle, with eerie music.]

Celestia: Okay, now say it with me okay. Grand!

Luna: Grand!

Celestia: Gra no. Grand. Grand!

Luna: Grand!

Celestia: No, start on a high note.

Luna: That’s what i’m doing!

Celestia: No your not doing it right! No, shut up! Say Grand. Graaaand! Not Grand.

Celestia and Luna: Grand! Grand!


[CUT TO: EXT. CAFE - DAY Twilight and Spike are sitting at a table. They are about to order food.]

Spike: Hey Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Spike: Since you’re such a big fan of Celestia. I'd like to ask you a question.

Twilight Sparkle: I'm not a fan... What's your question?

Spike: Does Celestia really raise and lower the sun?

Twilight Sparkle: Of course she does.

Spike: Really? What if the sun just went up and down all by itself.

Twilight Sparkle: That's crazy.

Spike: Is it? I mean she has to do that every day right. You'd think she'd slip up once and a while. But no. The sun just keeps rising and setting without any flaw.

Twilight Sparkle: Well she's that good.

Spike: No way.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes way.

[It begins to rain.]

Twilight Sparkle: What the heck?

The Bird: Twilight. Twilight. Princess of the Britons.

[Pause.]

The Bird: Do you get it Twilight? I'm that one guy, from the.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes. I get it…

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: Do you want anything?

The Bird: Oh yes. I came to tell you, that I know you got that extra ticket for the Grand Galloping Gala, and I told the entire town about it, and now they all want it…

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: Why would you do that?

The Bird: Well I was happy for your good fortune, and I wanted to tell everypony about it.

Twilight Sparkle: [Very quiet stutter] Ah.

The Bird: I have to go now... Goodbye.

[The Bird closes up the raincloud.]


[CUT TO: INT. CASTLE - DAY Shows and establishing shot of Celestia's castle, with eerie music.]

Luna: I don't see why this matters.

Celestia: Oh it matters!

Luna: [Sigh] Okay.

Celestia: To be a good Princess, one must be able to awe the masses with their speeches.

[Pause.]

Celestia: So that they will worship you.

Luna: Ye... Ya.

Celestia: And they'll want to do your bidding.

Luna: I don't think that's why ponies worship you. I think they're kinda scared of you.

Celestia: Oh, what are you talking about. Ponies DREAM of worshiping me!

[Pause.]

Luna: This is stupid.

Celestia: Your stupid!


[CUT TO: INT. LIBRARY - DAY Twilight walks into her house to find Fluttershy cleaning it.]

Fluttershy: Laaaaa. La. Laaaaa!

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: Ehah!

Twilight Sparkle: You broke into my house... Again.

Fluttershy: Uh! I'm, so sorry Twilight. You see I. Oh my god, it's that rabbit. Angel appears. She is making a salad.

Fluttershy: Oh man... It's been following me all day man...

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: Oh my god… What is it doing? What is it Doing!?

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: Rabbits are not supposed to do that!

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy!

Fluttershy: What!?

Twilight Sparkle: Get out of my house!

[Pinkie drags Twilight out.]


[CUT TO: EXT. OUTSIDE THE LIBRARY Twilight is surrounded by a bunch of Ponies.]

Pinkie Pie: Hey look everypony! She's the one the Bird said had the extra ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala!

Random Ponies: The Grand Galloping Gala!

Random Pony 1: Would you like me to do your gardening?

Random Pony 2: I found some carrots just lying on sidewalk you know... Do you want them.

Random Pony 3: I can introduce you to Kevin Bacon.

Random Pony 4: I'll do your dishes!

Twilight Sparkle: Run!

[Twilight goes through a running montage. The footage stops and the editor apologises for his spelling errors. Then she is cornered.]

Pony: It’s so sparkly!

[She teleports.]

Ponies: Oh my god she blew up!

She was so young!

Where'd she go?

This happened one time when I was with Sharline.


[CUT TO: INT. LIBRARY - NIGHT Twilight and Spike appear inside of the Library.]

Twilight Sparkle: Quick! Lock the doors!

Twilight makes it back to her house. She turns on the light and the main 6 are there.

Twilight Sparkle: Ah! God! Dam it! Why do you all keep breaking into my house?

The Bird: Whoa.

Pinkie Pie: Well it is a public Library.

Twilight Sparkle: Gack.... Not on the weekends it's not! We're closed on the weekends.

[Pause.]

Pinkie Pie: But it's a Tuesday.

Twilight Sparkle: Gack... What do you want from me?

Rarity: Um. You haven't decided who your going to give the extra ticket to. Twilight. You need to do that.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh. The ticket. Okay... Spike... Take a letter.

[Spike pulls out parchment.]

Twilight Sparkle: Dear Princess Celestia, I am most grateful for your invitation to the Grand Galloping Gala. However, do to not being able to decide which of my friends I should give my extra ticket to, I will be returning both tickets.

All Except Twilight: What?

Twilight Sparkle: Quick! Spike! Send it!

Spike: How?

Twilight Sparkle: Blow fire on it!

[Spike sends it.]

Twilight Sparkle: There. Now no pony gets the ticket.

Applejack: Why, you... darn nibblet!

Twilight Sparkle: It's too late! They're gone! I've had enough crazy for today.

Applejack: But you won't be able to go to the Gala either.

Twilight Sparkle: Ya, I know. And as much as I hate to say it. It's not really fair if I go and you guys don't.

Rarity: Wow. That's really generous of you Twilight.

[Zoom in on Rarity.]

Pinkie Pie: I say we all have a group hug!

All Except Twilight: Yay.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh hi... okay... stop.

[Spike begins to cough up another letter.]

Applejack: Well wallop my withers, Spike. Isn't that just like a boy. Can't handle the least bit of sentiment.

Pinkie Pie: Oh ho! The irony!

[Spike coughs out the letter.]

Twilight Sparkle: A letter? From Princess Celestia? What does it say.

Spike: Gla. I'm never going to get used to that. Dear Twilight, the other 5 elements of Harmony were invited too. I just haven't gotten around to sending the invitations yet cause Luna's an idiot. So, sorry for the delay. Here are 6 tickets.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh. So we all get to go… Yay.

All Except Twilight: Yay!

Spike: And here's a ticket for your roommate, Spike, as well... Ah fu.

[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 4

     
[FADE IN: EXT. TOWN HALL - DAY All the ponies are at a town meeting. Twilight comes on stage.]

Twilight Sparkle: Uh, hello everypony! Uh. welcome to our award ceremony.

Mayor Mare: Uh excuse me? What do you think you're doing?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh… Well I thought.

Mayor Mare: Get off the stage.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, sorry.

[Twilight leaves. Mayor Mare takes the stage.]

Mayor Mare: Okay, I want to make this clear for every pony. You can't just come up here without permission. Alright? This is a government establishment. Where official government things happen. [Indicating the trophy] What is this? What is this thing? Answer me!

Twilight Sparkle: Well we were going to do an award.

Mayor Mare: See this is what i'm talking about. This isn't a playground. This isn't a place where you can just leave your trash lying everywhere. No... no... What the that sound?

The Bird: Cows.

Mayor Mare: Are you freaking kidding me!

Rarity: Mayor.

Mayor Mare: What?

Rarity: Uh. Do you want to buy a dress?

Mayor Mare: No. Go away.

[Applejack rounds them up.]

Applejack: What you all doing? Why you stampeding ponyville?

Cow: We have traveled far from our home, the Far Side, to escape the fell ways of those lands. We are slaves no longer!

Applejack: Okay... And your stampeding the town because?

Cow: Well we're trying to get away. You know... Trying to get away.

Applejack: Okay, well get away around the town.

Cow: Hey! No one tells us what to do! We're a free peoples.

Applejack: Okay, be free peoples around the town.

Cow: We don't have to take this! Let us go through the town, or we'll curse ya.

Applejack: Ya what now?

Cow: We'll curse ya.

Applejack: Ye... But your cows.

Cow: Yah.

Applejack: Cows can't curse!

Cow: Oh yes they can, and we will.

[Pause.]

Applejack: Are you?

Cow: Bam!

[Pause.]

Applejack: Wa, was that it, was that the curse?

Cow: Ya.

Applejack: Okay... Go around the town.

Cow: Fine.

[The cows begin moving away.]

Cow: Beware little equines! Bad things will happen soon!

[The crowd of ponies cheer.]

Mayor Mare: Alright shows over, back to the meeting!

Pinkie Pie: But what about the curse?

Mayor Mare: Please! A Cow curse. Don't be ridiculous.


[CUT TO: EXT. OUTSIDE OF TOWN - DAY Ponies run around.]

Pony 1: Oh my god… It’s an earthquake. Oh my, oh jeez, okay.

Pony 2: Save the Children!

Pony 3: Don’t save the children, save me!

Pinkie Pie: The camera man's having a seizure!


[CUT TO: EXT. THE FIELDS - DAY]

Daisy: Oh, the crops have failed.

Other Pony: We’ll starve!

Daisy: Oh my god! Oh we’re going to starve!

Other Pony: We’re gonna. Ya. We’re gonna starve to death!

Daisy: Ya. We're so going to starve!

Other Pony: We're gonna starve!

Daisy: Death by starvation

Other Pony: Ya. We’re.

Daisy: Ya we're so gonna starve.

Other Pony: Ya we’re gonna starve, we’re gonna starve to death!

Twilight Sparkle: Yes. I think you've established that!

Other Pony: Ya.

Rose: My rose garden!


[CUT TO: EXT. HOSPITAL - DAY Nurse Redheart opens the curtains the hospital. Twilight and and Spike are there too.]

Twilight Sparkle: What's happened here.

Nurse Redheart: We been hit by a mysterious illness.

Twilight Sparkle: Gee. Is it serious?

Nurse Redheart: Nothing we can't handle. Hey, at least no one got a broken leg right? Ha ha, yah. You're laughin.

[Twilight looks nervous.]

Nurse Redheart: This does however, support the theory that there is an actual curse though.

[Pinkie is lying in bed.]

Pinkie Pie: Should have, read the script.

[Pinkie throws up.]

Twilight Sparkle: Well, looks like i'll have to do some research.


[CUT TO: EXT. TOWN HALL - DAY Mayor Mare stands in front of a crowd of ponies.]

Mayor Mare: I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't. It boggles my mind.

[Reaction from ponies.]

Mayor Mare: I am calling a town meeting... Because we got cursed by cows!

[Pause.]

Mayor Mare: That is the stupidest reason to call a town meeting!

[Pause.]

Mayor Mare: Are there any, are there any suggestions to solving this problem? Yes you in the back.

Random Pony: We could write to the princess. And ask her for help.

Mayor Mare: No that's stupid. Anypony else.

[Pause.]

Mayor Mare: Anypony.

[Pause.]

Mayor Mare: Fine! I'll write to her.


[CUT TO: EXT. CASTLE Celestia and Luna stand in front of a window.]

Celestia: [Laugh]

Luna: It's not funny!

Celestia: It's a little funny.

Luna: No it's not! We got to go help them.

Celestia: Yep. That's what we do. We go help towns with cow problems.

Luna: I'm being serious!

Celestia: How?

Luna: They've just been through earthquakes and plagues. The poor things.

Celestia: Oh come on Luna. This will be good for them.

Luna: Good!? How will this be good for them?

Celestia: Toughen them up.

Luna: Are you serious?

Celestia: Separate the wheat from the chaff.

Luna: Oh my god…

Celestia: Come on. I think a town in my empire, can deal with a couple of cows. Just give them some time. They'll work it out.


[CUT TO: EXT. ORCHARD - DAY Applejack is bucking apples. Twilight comes over.]

Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Applejack.

Applejack: Hey, sugar cube. What's up?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh ya. So I did some research on this cow curse, and I found a way to lift it.

Applejack: Oh that's nice.

[Pause.]

Applejack: You should do that.

Twilight Sparkle: Yah. Well that's actually why I came up here. You see to stop the curse, every pony in the town has to drink a special brew... made from... uh... well... apples.

Applejack: Okay.

Twilight Sparkle: Ya.

Applejack: So, why are you coming to me then?

Twilight Sparkle: Why do you think?

Applejack: Wait a minute, do you need a pony sacrifice or something?

Twilight Sparkle: No. What!? No.

Applejack: Are you sacrificing me?

Twilight Sparkle: No. There's no sacrifice.

Applejack: Was it the town? Did they vote on this? Did they vote for me to be the sacrifice?

Twilight Sparkle: Okay no look. Alright. There’s no sacrifice.

Applejack: I thought you had morals!

Twilight Sparkle: I have morals!

Applejack: No you don't.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes I do! [Frustrated Breath] That's not why I can up here!

Applejack: Well you ain't taking me down.

Twilight Sparkle: I swear Applejack. Just drop the whole sacrifice thing okay. There's no sacrifice! Just listen for a moment!

Applejack: I'm not a pushover. You know just the other day a flung the bird into the sky with a catapult. And I just pushed the other side down, I didn't even have to jump on it.

Twilight Sparkle: Stop talking! I came here for some apples! For apples Applejack!

Applejack: Well there are no Apples here.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes there are! This is an orchard! There are apples everywhere!

Applejack: These are mangos.

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack! There are APPLES on your flank! The word APPLE is in your NAME! Your farming apples!

Applejack: Oh no, Twilight. You see, my name is just a bad joke.

Twilight Sparkle: What!?

Applejack: No really it's a pun. Listen. MAAAANGOOO.

[Pause. Reaction from Twilight.]

Applejack: MAAANGOOO.

Twilight Sparkle: Shut up!

Applejack: No hang on, it's not a pun. It's something else.

Twilight Sparkle: It's not anything!

Applejack: Listen... Nibblet. You can't just come up here and start accusing me of harvesting apples.

Twilight Sparkle: [Through gritted teeth] Gooooooood! Fine! I guess we'll just see what horrors await us tomorrow!

Applejack: I guess so.


[CUT TO: EXT. TOWN The town begins to rumble. Rabbits stampede the town. After a lot of destruction, Twilight trots over to the town and finds 3 ponies lying on the ground.]

Pony 1: Oh my god, there’re rabbits. Oh my god… That’s terrifying.

Pony 2: Someone, get the holy hand grenade!

Pony 3: It’s all Watership down up in here!

Pony 4: Not the rabbits! Noooot the rabbits!

Twilight Sparkle: [Humming, then a gasp]

Rose: It was awful!

Twilight Sparkle: Oh my god! You’re not dead! You're not dead. Okay. That’s good. That’s good... What happened here.

Other Pony: It was… It was them!

[Rabbits are everywhere.]

Fluttershy: Oh my god! They're. They're everywhere!

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, this is getting ridiculous.

Fluttershy: No way! Is that General Woundwort!?


[CUT TO: EXT. ORCHARD - DAY Twilight comes up the hill.]

Applejack: Just a few more mangos. Then i can take a break.

Twilight Sparkle: Alright Applejack. Because of your stubbornness, Ponyville was terrorized by RABBITS.

Applejack: Oh my. Fine! If you want them so badly, I'll give you some! But when your stupid potion doesn't work. Don't ever come back here claiming these are apples!

Twilight Sparkle: Deal.

[The Next Day!]


[CUT TO: EXT. CASTLE Celestia and Luna are standing in front of the stain glass window.]

Luna: So I just got a letter from Ponyville.

Celestia: And?

Luna: It says that Twilight solved the problem.

Celestia: Boom. See? What did I tell yah. Top apprentice right there. Now how much do you owe me?

Luna: N. Nothing. We didn't make a bet.

Celestia: Oh... Well I still won.

Luna: Ya. That's... Congratulations.

Celestia: Well you know, I am the all powerful princess. You know maybe someday Luna, you’ll be as wise as me. Who knows.

Luna: Oh my god.

Celestia: Anything can happen.

[Pause.]

Celestia: There's something more to this whole cow thing though.

Luna: What do you mean?

Celestia: There's something unpleasant... stirring in the south. I can sense it.


[CUT TO: EXT. ORCHARD - DAY Applejack is bucking apples. Twilight comes up the hill.]

Twilight Sparkle: Hey Applejack.

Applejack: What?

Twilight Sparkle: Looks like the entire town's been cured.

Applejack: That's nice.

Twilight Sparkle: So I guess that proves that they're apples then.

Applejack: Ha, your little experiment proves Nothing!

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, come on. Seriously?

Applejack: These are mangos... Niblet, and there's nothing you can say that will change my mind.

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: Well... You just keep thinking that then.

Applejack: I will.

Twilight Sparkle: Fine.

Applejack: Fine!

Twilight Sparkle: I'm gonna go then.

Applejack: You do that.

Twilight Sparkle: [As she walks away] The stubbornest, stupidest…

[Twilight walks away. There is doubt in Applejack's eyes. She turns toward the Orchard at all the apples. She then bows her head in acceptance. As if deep down, she knows Twilight is right.]

[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 5

     
[FADE IN: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Pinkie Pie and The Bird are talking.]

Pinkie Pie: Hey the Bird.

The Bird: Hello.

Pinkie Pie: Uh. Ya. Watcha doing?

The Bird: I am moving this cloud.

Pinkie Pie: Cool. Hey, I'm having a party at Sugarcube corner this afternoon, you wanna come?

The Bird: Sure.

[The Editor makes a comment.]

Editor: Hey guys, sup!

Pinkie Pie: Oh... It's you.

Editor: You don't sound very happy to see me.

Pinkie Pie: Well, that's because i'm not. I saw your little stunt in episode 3.

The Bird: Whoa, what is that?

Pinkie Pie: It's nothing.

The Bird: Are those the words from some all powerful mystic being.

Pinkie Pie: No, it's from an idiot who can't spell.

Editor: Hey!

The Bird: I'm going to say hello to it.

Pinkie Pie: The Bird! Don't encourage this!

The Bird: Hello.

Pinkie Pie: God damn it.

The Bird: All powerful mystic being. What is your favorite color?

Pinkie Pie: Are you.... what?

Editor: Blue.

The Bird: No way. That's my favorite color too.

Pinkie Pie: I'm done, i'm done here. Goodbye.

The Bird: [Addressing The Editor] Can you make your words blue?

Editor: [With Blue Text] Yes.

The Bird: Awesome.


[CUT TO: EXT. TWILIGHT'S HOUSE]

Pinkie Pie: Ga!

[INT. TWILIGHT'S HOUSE Twilight is reading a book. Pinkie is marching angrily around the room.]

Pinkie Pie: This is really getting out of hand!

Twilight Sparkle: Hoof.

Pinkie Pie: What?

Twilight Sparkle: Hoof.

Pinkie Pie: Whatever! Seriously. I mean, no one noticed it. Who reads the disclaimers anyway!?

Twilight Sparkle: HmMm.

Pinkie Pie: He could have just left it alone. But noooooo. He had to literally pause the episode and draw attention to it!

Spike: Ha. You should beat him up.

Pinkie Pie: Spike, you don't even know who i'm talking about.

Spike: Ha. No idea.

Twilight Sparkle: Hey Pinkie?

Pinkie Pie: What!?

Twilight Sparkle: As much as I like your company and all, this is my house.

Spike: Our house.

Twilight Sparkle: Our house. And a library. And you know, ponies are usually supposed to be quiet in libraries.

Pinkie Pie: Ga! I need a milkshake!

[Pinkie leaves.]

Twilight Sparkle: Hey Spike, you want to get something to eat?

Spike: Ya, sure.


[CUT TO: EXT. PAVILION PATH - DAY Pinkie walks alone.]

Pinkie Pie: Stupid. If he keeps showing up mid- episode... Wait. If he keeps showing up each episode, he could cause a panic. Magic flying words telling everyone that this is all a show... That wouldn’t be good…


[CUT TO: EXT. CLOUDS - DAY The Bird is flying around. Suddenly Gilda zooms past her. The Bird then goes faster to try and catch up. The both collide with a cloud.]

The Bird: Say you're pretty fast.

Gilda: Ya. I guess you’re pretty fast too.

The Bird: I am known as The Bird. What is your name.

Gilda: Gilda.

The Bird: Nice to meet you.

Gilda: Ya. [Mumbles] Okay.

The Bird: What brings you to ponyville?

Gilda: Oh... Well, ever since I was a kid, I wanted to travel the world and see new cultures. So... here I am.

The Bird: Cool. What do you think of pony life, so far?

Gilda: Oh. Well, I'm a bit surprised that you guys have houses.

The Bird: Why?

Gilda: Well, because your ponies. Shouldn't you live in like, corrals or something?

The Bird: Oh. I don't think so.

Gilda: What about barns?

The Bird: Well, we have barns. But those are for livestock.

Gilda: Oh. [Mumble] Okay.

The Bird: Ya.

Gilda: I have another question. You guys eat grass right?

The Bird: Sometimes. We also eat apples, and cake.

Gilda: Wait you eat cake?

The Bird: Yes.

Gilda: But you're herbivores.

The Bird: Well it's not technically meat, so.

Gilda: But there's eggs in cake.

The Bird: Oh dear…

Gilda: Also that implies ponies can bake stuff.

The Bird: Well we can.

[Pause.]

Gilda: Really.


[CUT TO: EXT. SUGAR CUBE CORNER - DAY Pinkie sits alone at a table, drinking a milkshake. The Editor suddenly makes an appearance.]

Editor: Hey Pinkie?

[Pinkie is startled, but quickly recovers.]

Pinkie Pie: Ga! Freak-in... Go away! Stop showing up! You could disturb the balance.

[Pause.]

Editor: Disturb the balance? Also isn’t it “disrupt” the balance?


[CUT TO: EXT. CAFE - DAY TWILIGHT and Spike are sitting at an outdoor restaurant.]

Spike: Ya i'll take the fries!

Twilight Sparkle: Ya, i'll have a sandwich... okay.

[Spike addresses Twilight.]

Spike: Hey Twi.

Twilight Sparkle: Ya huh?

Spike: I've been thinking about this whole letter thing.

Twilight Sparkle: What whole letter thing?

Spike: You know. The thing where I vomit up your mail?

Twilight Sparkle: Oh ya. What about it?

Spike: Well it's kinda freaking me out.

Twilight Sparkle: Why?

Spike: What if someone sends like a package or something. How would that work?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh…

Spike: Or like a sofa.

Twilight Sparkle: Ah, well.

Spike: I don't think my stomach could take it.

Twilight Sparkle: You know... I wouldn't worry about it.

Spike: Why not? It could totally happen.

Twilight Sparkle: Well it only works with letters…

Spike: It only works with letters?

Twilight Sparkle: I... Probably.


[CUT TO: EXT. CLOUDS Gilda and The Bird Are sitting in the clouds.]

The Bird: Hey, Gilda.

Gilda: What?

The Bird: I am going to a party this afternoon. Do you want to come.

Gilda: A pony party… [Deep sigh] Sure…

The Bird: Cool.

[Pause.]

Gilda: Hey. I have.

[Cut off by the Bird]

The Bird: Hello.

[Pause.]

Gilda: Is that like your trigger word?

The Bird: What is?

Gilda: Hello.

The Bird: Hello.

Gilda: Oh. [Mumbles] Okay.


[CUT TO: EXT. SUGAR CUBE CORNER - DAY Pinkie and the editor are still talking.]

Pinkie Pie: Who misspells the disclaimer!?

Editor: That was just one time!

Pinkie Pie: 2 times.

The Editor: 2 times.

Pinkie Pie: That's all it takes. Who wants to hire an editor who can't spell.

Editor: Alright, for the last time! I... can... Spel.

[Pinkie slams her fist on the table.]

Pinkie Pie: There!

Editor: Spell! No! I meant Spell!

Pinkie Pie: There! I rest my case!

Editor: Damn it!


[CUT TO: EXT. CAFE - DAY Spike and Twilight are sitting at a table.]

Spike: So you’re meaning to tell me that dragons; giant, fire breathing, lizards, have evolved to be able to do this one specific thing. Receive and deliver letters.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, not letters, it's probably just small stuff too you know? I don’t know. I haven't given much thought to the subject.

Spike: Well this totally sucks!


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Pinkie is still arguing with the editor.]

Pinkie Pie: Just do your damn job! If I see you mid-episode again, I will come up there, and back kick you in the face! Now if you'll excuse me, I have a party to host!


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Fluttershy is being pursued by a bunch of ducks.]

Fluttershy: Go away! Stop following me! Oh my god.

[Fluttershy runs into Gilda.]

Gilda: Excuse me, I have a question for you.

Fluttershy: Uhhhh! What the hell is that!?

Gilda: How are you guys able to hold stuff without having opposable thumbs.

Fluttershy: Uhhhhh!


[CUT TO: EXT. CAFE - DAY Spike and Twilight are still eating. Spike looks very angry. Twilight eats a flower.]

Spike: Wait a second. If I were to send a letter to someone, would they know it was from me?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh, only if you put your name on it.

Spike: [Smug and confident] Really? This might not be such a bad thing after-all.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh hey, remember not to eat too much. Pinkie's Party is starting soon.

Spike: Wait Pinkie's has a party today?

Twilight Sparkle: Ya. Didn't I tell you about it?

Spike: Then why the hell did we just eat lunch?

Twilight Sparkle: I don't know... I was hungry… Studying all night… Didn’t have dinner...

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: Don't give me that look.


[CUT TO: INT. SUGAR CUBE CORNER - DAY Gilda enters the party.]

Pinkie Pie: Welcome! Hey there. Welcome.

Applejack: Well, that’s very nice of you, but i'm kinda going through some stuff right now.

Rarity: Well you should buy one to make you feel better then.

[We focus on Twilight and Fluttershy.]

Twilight Sparkle: Your were pursued by... ducks?

Fluttershy: They were relentless man!

Twilight Sparkle: These are ducks we're talking about right?

Fluttershy: I can still see their beady little eyes.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay…

Fluttershy: They were soulless eyes man! They were soulless eyes!

Pinkie Pie: Ooooo. A griffin. Welcome to the party, my name's Pinkie Pie.

[Pinkie stretches out her hoof for a hoof shake. There is a pause. Gilda does not take her hoof.]

Gilda: Ya. [Mumble] Okay.

The Bird: Hello Pinkie. This is Guilda. She's a Griffin.

Pinkie Pie: I can see that.

Gilda: So what's this party for anyway?

Pinkie Pie: Oh well, you know... throwing parties is my thing.

Gilda: It's you thing?

Pinkie Pie: Yah!

Gilda: But you’re a pony.

Pinkie Pie: Ya.

Gilda: Ponies don't throw parties.

[Pause.]

Pinkie Pie: Ya…

[Pause.]

Pinkie Pie: So, do you want any food? Uh lemon drops?

Gilda: I don't eat candy.

Pinkie Pie: Oh... Okay.

Gilda: I think i'll have some water instead.

Pinkie Pie: Great.

[Gilda drinks a cup of juice.]

Gilda: You guys drink from cups?

Pinkie Pie: Ya.

Gilda: But your ponies. Shouldn't you drink from like... water troughs?

Pinkie Pie: Uh, well, no…

Gilda: I have another question. You say that your friend Twilight lives in a tree right?

The Bird: Yes.

Gilda: But she doesn't have opposable thumbs. Wouldn't she fall out of it?

Pinkie Pie: Uh well it's not.

Gilda: I mean she's a pony.

Pinkie Pie: Well the tree is hollowed out on the inside. She lives inside the tree.

Gilda: Oh. [Mumble] Okay.

Pinkie Pie: Ya…

Gilda: It's a bizarre place for a pony to live in.

Pinkie Pie: Say. Who wants cake.

Pony Crowd: Yah!

Gilda: You guys know what's in that right?

Pinkie Pie: A ha. Say Guilda, do you want to play pin the tale on the pony?

Gilda: Why?

Pinkie Pie: Because... It's fun.

[Pause.]

The Editor: Alright! Let's get this party started!

Pinkie Pie: Oh Look! At that. Magic flying words. That’s… Okay. That shouldn't be here, but there they are. No cause for alarm though! Probably the magician. Probably!

Editor: Oh no! This is all a show! Ooooooo!

Gilda: This is lame. I'm leaving.


[CUT TO: EXT. OUTSIDE TOWN HALL Spike breaths fire on a bunch of letters.]

Spike: Ha... And so it begins.

[EXT. CASTLE Celestia is reading a note, when suddenly a whole bunch of notes cascades over her.]

Celestia: What? Naaaaaa!

[Credits.]

Editor: I’m okay... Ow…

[The End.]


Episode 6

     
[FADE IN: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE - DAY Celestia and Luna stand in front of the stain glass window. They are both silent.]

Celestia: [Mumble]

Luna: Hey, Celestia?

Celestia: [Mumble] Ya.

Luna: Are you okay.

Celestia: Fine. I'm great.

Luna: Well you don't sound great.

[Pause.]

Celestia: [Mumble]

Luna: Celestia?

Celestia: Somewhere out there, Luna... there is a pony. A pony that likes to play with fire.

Luna: What?

Celestia: Yesterday around noon, I received a title wave of letters, filled to the brim with petty insults and libel!

Luna: Oh dear, um. Do you know who's sending these letters?

Celestia: No. The coward doesn't sign them. But I swear to you, they will not get away with this! They will pay most dearly for their treachery. They think they can get the best of me? They think they can troll me! No! They know nothing of the wrath they have unleashed upon themselves! Whoever you are, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Blank Flank and Snips stand motionless in front of Spike. There is a long awkward pause.]

Blank Flank: Hi... My name is Blank Flank. I'm kind-of an idiot.

Spike: Oh, uh.

Blank Flank: This is Snips.

Spike: Uh.

Blank Flank: His special talent, is scissors.

Spike: Okay, uh. Okay.

Blank Flank: He's kind-of an idiot too.

Spike: Okay, what, do I know you?

Blank Flank: What?

Spike: Well you just came over here and started talking to me. I don't.

Blank Flank: Oh yah, we do that sometimes.

Spike: Okay, I'm gonna go... There's like a thing happening...


[CUT TO: EXT. TRIXIE STAGE - DAY A big crowd is waiting in front of a stage.]

Twilight Sparkle: What's everypony doing?

The Bird: We are waiting for the show to start.

Twilight Sparkle: What show?

Rarity: Um, it said on the fliers that, uh there would be a magic show... today.

Applejack: Yah. Some Great and Powerful magician from the inner empire.

Twilight Sparkle: Wait. Great and powerful?

Trixie: Welcome! Mares and Stallions. Come and whiteness the amazing magical abilities... of the Great and Powerful Trixie!

[The stage opens up and there is a huge explosion. Trixie appears. The is a gasp from the audience.]

Random Pony: Oh my golly willikers. Would you look at that. It's Trixie, Oh my god. That's Amazing.

Random Pony 2: Oh Sharline would love this.

Twilight Sparkle: You've got to be kidding me.

Trixie: Watch in awe, as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most impossible feats of magic, ever whiteness by pony eyes!

[Firecrackers go off.]

Rarity: Wow. Such boasting.

The Bird: Ya. she's so full of herself.

Trixie: I'm sorry, what?

[The Bird Flies over to Trixie.]

The Bird: What makes you think you are the best?

Trixie: Calm down there... dude.

The Bird: My name is The Bird.

Trixie: Okay... It's only a show…

The Bird: Still, you shouldn't boast like that.

Trixie: Okay... Well, would you rather Trixie say "Come watch the kinda average and mediocre magical abilities of The Great and Powerful Trixie'?

[Pause. The Bird thinks.]

The Bird: No... not really.

Trixie: And besides, Trixie's magical abilities are something to boast about.

The Bird: No way. I bet I could do a trick better than you can.

Trixie: Really? You dare to challenge Trixie!

The Bird: Yes. Check this out.

[The Bird does an impressive trick. When she finishes, there is a pause. Trixie then turns back to the audience.]

Trixie: As Trixie was saying. The Great and Powerful.

The Bird: Uh, hello. I just did a trick.

Trixie: Ya. She saw. Trixie wasn't impressed.

The Bird: How were you not impressed? I think I defied the laws of physics somewhere in there.

Trixie: Listen, Bird. Trixie has been performing magic since…

The Bird: Uh, it's pronounced The Bird.

[Pause. Trixie then, very quickly, spins The Bird around and then shocks her with lighting.]

The Bird: Whoa! Ow!

Trixie: Anyone else have problems with Trixie's performance?

Twilight Sparkle: [Whisper] Hey, listen guys, i'm gonna go before she notices me.

[Trixie notices Twilight.]

Trixie: No way! Well well well. Twilight Sparkle.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh god.

Trixie: My arch nemeses.

Twilight Sparkle: Please stop.

Trixie: We meet again under the most unusual circumstances. Yes?

[Pause.]

Trixie: Yes.

[Pause.]

Trixie: What are you doing nowadays Twilight? Working at some dead end job? Like a library or something?

Twilight Sparkle: I happen to be Princess Celestia's top student. What are YOU doing now, Trixie? Performing parlor tricks for kids?

Trixie: No. This is just a job on the side. You know, make money on practicing something you good at. Kill two birds with one stone kinda thing.

The Bird: Wait. She does what now?

Trixie: Trixie's been studying, Twilight. Studying the most advanced and mysterious forms of magic in the world.

Twilight Sparkle: That's nice. I don't really care.

Trixie: [Female voice] Don't you Twilight?

[Pause. Twilight looks stunned.]

Twilight Sparkle: Whoa... How... how did you do that?

Trixie: [Female voice] Pretty neat huh? [Other Voice] Trixie can change her voice at will.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay... That's a new one on me.

Trixie: [Twilight Sparkle voice] Recognize this voice Twilight?

Twilight Sparkle: Whoa, okay that’s just a little creepy.

[Trixie begins to speak without moving her lips.]

Trixie: Can you do this Twilight? Can you speak without moving your lips?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh.

Trixie: And Trixie also knows everything you're about to say.

Twilight Sparkle and Trixie: What do you mean....

[Twilight is stunned.]

Twilight Sparkle and Trixie: How are you…

Trixie: Doing that? [Female voice, giggle] Trixie read the script.

Twilight Sparkle: The script? Like some ancient text or something?

Trixie: Whoa whoa.

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Trixie: Hang on. Hang on…

Twilight Sparkle: Uh?

Trixie: Uh. Uh.

[Pause.]

Trixie: Okay there. I read the next 2 pages, so i'm good.

Twilight Sparkle and Trixie: What are you talking about?

Twilight Sparkle: Okay that is seriously getting annoying. How are you doing that?

Trixie: [Laugh] Trixie has discovered the ultimate power.

Trixie: [Deep Voice] You see. Trixie has come across a most peculiar force, known as the fourth wall... and now has the ability... to break it!

[Twilight looks scared.]

Trixie: [Deep Voice] It is a very dark power. And only the most evil of ponies, can command it. For my ally is the fourth, and a powerful ally it is too.

Twilight Sparkle: Whoa. You quoting Yoda?

Trixie: [Deep Voice] There are people watching us Twilight. Right now.

Twilight Sparkle: What?

[Trixie turns to the screen.]

Trixie: [DEEP VOICE] Hello viewers... Yes. I'm talking to you. I just want to give a shout out to all those Trixie fans out there. I really owe a lot to you guys.

[The crowd just stares at her.]

The Bird: [Whisper] Who is she talking to?

Applejack: I think she's gone crazy.

Trixie: What!? No! No, there are really people watching us right now.

The Bird: Maybe you should see a doctor or something.

Trixie: But look, I can talk to the editor. [Clears her throat] Hello The Editor.

The Editor: Don't talk to me.

Rarity: Uh, you know, uh I heard that dress purchasing is the best way to cure insanity.

Trixie: Are you... What?

The Bird: Wait, wasn't there supposed to be a show?

Twilight Sparkle: You know it’s been fun catching up, but you know, i'm just gonna go now.


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE - DAY Celestia and Luna stand in front of a stain glass window.]

Celestia: Arching is not stupid! It's… it’s awesome.

Luna: No, it's pretty dumb.

Celestia: Luna… [sigh] Poor Luna... So nieve.

Luna: [Sigh] Here we go.

Celestia: God, what is that like?

Luna: Okay, what is so great about having an arch nemesis?

Celestia: What, are you kidding me? Two ponies trying to outwit each other in maniacal schemes of brilliance! It's amazing! I’ve got 5.

Luna: You have five arch nemeses? [Bursts into laughter]

Celestia: What is so funny!?

Luna: Well i've never had to use the word nemesis the plural sense before. [Bursts into laughter]

Celestia: [Sigh]


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Blank Flank and Snips are walking around.]

Blank Flank: Gee Snips. I wish I could speak without moving my lips and change my voice.

[Snips is silent.]

Blank Flank: Hey, maybe Trixie can take us as her apprentices in learning the ways of the fourth. Then maybe i'll be good at something for once.

[Snips is silent.]

Text: Later that evening


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - NIGHT An Ursa Minor is attacking the town. Twilight rushes over.]

Twilight Sparkle: What the hell is going on!?

Trixie: Ah Twilight Sparkle my arch nemesis, we meet again under the most unusual circumstances.

Twilight Sparkle: Why is there an Ursa Minor in the town!?

Trixie: Don't look at me. These two brought it in.

Blank Flank: Ya, we brought it in to prove our worth… We kinda suck like that.

Trixie: Ya. They do suck!

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, alright I don't care!

[Twilight uses her magic to lift the Ursa Minor.]

Trixie: Watch in awe as Trixie lifts the beast off the ground.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh Trixie. That's me who's lifting the Ursa Minor!

Trixie: No way. Trixie is lifting it!

Twilight Sparkle: Trixie! Do you not see the magic coming from my horn!?

Trixie: Trixie has the power to turn her magic invisible.

Twilight Sparkle: No, you do not!!!!!

Trixie: Yes Trixie does! She is great and powerful!

Twilight Sparkle: Oh my god. Shut up! Why do you need to consistently, and relentlessly prove yourself!

Trixie: The Great and Powerful Trixie not only is lifting the ursa minor, but!

Twilight Sparkle: I have had it! I'm putting this thing down.

Trixie: Well then, Trixie is putting it down!

Twilight Sparkle: I'm gonna do it!

Trixie: Trixie's doing it!

Twilight Sparkle: I'm doing it!

Trixie: This is Trixie's doing!

Twilight Sparkle: I putting the bear down! I. There! I put it down!

Trixie: Trixie. Trixie put it down.

[Twilight puts the Ursa Minor down.]

Twilight Sparkle: Okay Trixie! If this is really your doing, why don’t you lift it again.

Trixie: Trixie. De... Trixie would rather do this!

[Trixie shocks the Ursa Minor again.]

Trixie: Bam! Oh! Oh my God! Did you see that!

Twilight Sparkle: Oh for the love of!

Trixie: Trixie is unstoppable!

[Twilight pops the Ursa Minor back to the cave.]

Twilight Sparkle: There it's gone!

[Pause.]

Trixie: Trixie has disintegrated it!

Twilight Sparkle: No. I sent it back where it came from!

Trixie: Don't try to take credit for Trixie's impossible feats of magic...

Twilight Sparkle: Oh my god! Do you want me to bring it back!? Is that what you want Trixie!? Do you want me to bring it back!?

Trixie: Trixie does not think.

Twilight Sparkle: Fine!

[Twilight uses magic to bring it back.]

Twilight Sparkle: There it's back!

Trixie: Trixie has brought it back to life!

Twilight Sparkle: No you didn't!!!! You stupid little!

Text: 2 Hours Later.

Trixie: Well... You may have bested me this time.

Twilight Sparkle: No freaking kidding!

[Pause.]

Trixie: Ya... But I still know something you don't.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh really? What? Are you not left hoofed?

Trixie: Ha ha ha... You know nothing of what's coming. Pretty soon, things are going to change. So i'm gonna give you a warning. Ha ha... Beware Twilight Sparkle... For unpleasant things, stir in the south…

[Trixie runs off. Pause.]

Blank Flank: Well Snips, I guess we weren't destined to be in-tuned with the fourth. But you know... There's always tomorrow…

[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 7

     
[FADE IN: EXT. MOUNTAINTOP - DAY An establishing shot of the mountain.]

Twilight Sparkle: Guys. Come on. Ponyville is depending on us.

Fluttershy: I didn't sign up for this man!

Twilight Sparkle: What... This is exactly what you signed up for!

Applejack: Hey sugar cube, she's doing it again.

Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie! For the last time, put the rubber chicken down!

Rarity: Um, Hey Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: What!? No! I know what you're gonna say.

Rarity: But.

Twilight Sparkle: Don't say it!

Rarity: Uh.

Twilight Sparkle: Na.

Rarity: Bu.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh ba.

[Pause.]

Rarity: Do you want to.

Twilight Sparkle: Rarity! Does this look like the time!?

Fluttershy: I'm getting out of here man!

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy! You get back down here right now!

[Suddenly the dragon comes out of the cave.]

Dragon: [Sigh] What is going on out here.

Fluttershy: Uhhh!

[The Dragon sees the mane 6.]

Dragon: Oh. It's you guys... Um look, I don't want any trouble, so i'm just going to go.

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Dragon: I've been through enough of these abridged series by now to know what happens if I stick around.

Pinkie Pie: Hm. Smart.

Twilight Sparkle: Wait what?

Dragon: See ya.

[The dragon flies off. The is a long pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: Uh... What?


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE - DAY Celestia and Luna are staring at a stain glass window. There is a long pause.]

Celestia: God I love this window.


[CUT TO: EXT. MOUNTAINTOP - DAY An establishing shot of the mountain. The main 6 are standing around.]

Twilight Sparkle: We went through hours of climbing, dehydration, and avalanches, for that!

Pinkie Pie: I guess so.

Twilight Sparkle: You've got to be kidding me!

Pinkie Pie: Well granted it was bit anti climactic.

Twilight Sparkle: It can't just end like that! It doesn't make any sense!

Applejack: We're all alive. I think that is the important thing.

Twilight Sparkle: I... Ya I guess…

Applejack: Nilly, we just survived an encounter with a fully grown dragon. I say that's a win.

Twilight Sparkle: Ya. But why did the dragon just leave? What's the heck is an abridged series?

Pinkie Pie: Oh. I don't think it matters too much.

Rarity: Uh, say Twilight, you look kinda angry. Would like to buy a dress?

Twilight Sparkle: No!

Rarity: What about a scarf then?

Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Rarity we need to talk. You have asked me time and time again, whether or not I want to buy a dress. And time and time again I have said NO!

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: So stop asking!

[Pause.]

Rarity: Well I was only trying to help.

Twilight Sparkle: Well you're not.

The Bird: Can we go now?

Twilight Sparkle: Hang on a minute. I'm want to figure this out!

Applejack: Uh actually, I need to go too. I have some chores I still need to do.

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack... Chores? You have chores to do?

Applejack: Ya.

Twilight Sparkle: What de... What do you think this is? An errand? Like you were going to climb a mountain to confront a dragon and then afterwards, finish your chores!?

Applejack: Well... Yah.

Twilight Sparkle: Really! What else were you gonna do after you slayed the dragon? Go get some groceries? Mail a letter?

Applejack: Uh... Kinda…

Twilight Sparkle: I don't believe this!

The Bird: I don’t have any other errands today. I was just going to practice my tricks.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, you know what. I changed my mind. Let's go. I can't take this anymore.


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA’S CASTLE - DAY Celestia and Luna are standing in front of a stain glass window.]

Luna: Celestia.

Celestia: Uh huh?

Luna: I've been meaning to talk to you about something…

Celestia: Uh huh?

Luna: Ya. Well, you know that one stain glass window with the elements of harmony defeating Nightmare Moon?

Celestia: You mean that one?

Luna: Uh, ya. Ya that one.

Celestia: Ya. What about it?

Luna: Ya, well... You see thing is... Every morning, I come downstairs for breakfast... you know, because I live here…

Celestia: Uh huh.

Luna: And... I see it... On the wall.

Celestia: Uh huh.

Luna: Every morning.

[Pause.]

Celestia: Your point?

[Pause.]

Luna: Ha. My point is... that, it's kinda demoralizing for me... you know because it's a horrible reminder of my past…

Celestia: Uh huh.

Luna: So... I would appreciate it, if it were maybe... I don’t know… taken down.

Celestia: Oh we can't do that.

Luna: Uh... Why not?

Celestia: Luna... We have to keep a record of our pasts. How else can we learn from our mistakes?

Luna: Did you seriously just say that me?

Celestia: Besides, if it bothers you so much, just look the other way.

Luna: Ya, I would, accept that's where the other stain glass window is... The one with YOU defeating me with the elements of harmony.

Celestia: [Laugh] Wow... Really? We have two stain glass windows of that happening?

Luna: [Sigh] Yeah.

Celestia: [Snicker] You know Luna, maybe you should think about your life choices a bit more.

[Luna gives Celestia a look.]

Celestia: Just saying.


[CUT TO: EXT. CLIFF - DAY The Main 6 jump over a small cliff. Fluttershy stops and refuses to jump over.]

Twilight Sparkle: Come on Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: I can't do this man.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes you... You did it before, when we came up here!

Fluttershy: Well I just barely made it!

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy! It's like a foot wide.

Fluttershy: It's a foot too wide man!

Twilight Sparkle: Oh come on! You could literally walk over it.

Fluttershy: But what if it crumbles man!?

Twilight Sparkle: You can fly! [Starts to mumble] Don't know why I bother.

Applejack: Nilly, let me handle this. Sugar cube, it’s not that scary. It's just a... it's just a hop skip and a jump. That's all. Nothing to be scared of.

Fluttershy: Well it IS scary man. And i’m not doing it.

Twilight Sparkle: How have you survived this long!

Applejack: Nilly take it easy.

Fluttershy: Well i've lived in the Clouds Dale all my life man! There aren't any scary cliffs or freak rabbits up there man!

Twilight Sparkle: OKay, well what is up there?

Fluttershy: Clouds. Nice fluffy, harmless clouds. It's the safest place in the world man.

Twilight Sparkle: Well if it's so safe, then why did you come down to live here in the first place?

Fluttershy: I like to live on the edge man!

Twilight Sparkle: Well then jump over here then!

Fluttershy: That's over the edge man!

Twilight Sparkle: God freaking dammit!


[CUT TO: EXT: CELESTIA’S CASTLE - DAY Luna and Celestia are standing in front of a stain glass window.]

Luna: Okay, how would you feel if there was a stain glass window of YOU being defeated by the elements of harmony?

Celestia: I wouldn't care.

Luna: [Sarcastically] Really?

Celestia: Well for a start, I wouldn't become evil... Luna.

Luna: [Sigh]

Celestia: And even if I did, it would be an image of me whooping the elements!

Luna: Uh huh. Says the one who can't even figure out who's trolling her?

Celestia: Shut up. That pony is a criminal mastermind.


[CUT TO: EXT. LIBRARY Spike is walking around the library holding Angel.]

Spike: Man. This is one angry rabbit.


[CUT TO: EXT: CELESTIA’S CASTLE - DAY The conversation continues.]

Celestia: I'm working on it.

Luna: No your not! Every time I see you, you're standing in front of this stupid window!

Celestia: Hey! This window is not stupid! It's fabulous.

Luna: Why don't you actually do something for once! Instead of abandoning them when they need your help!

Celestia: I do not abandon my subjects, Luna.

Luna: Oh really? What about those 6 ponies you sent up Bald Mountain to confront aDragon: !

Celestia: Those 6 ponies happen to be the elements of harmony.

Luna: You sent PONIES to confront a fully grown, fire breathing,Dragon: !

[A sound of a door can be heard and a messenger calls out to Celestia.]

Messenger: You majesty?

Celestia: Yes?

Messenger: News from Bald Mountain.

Celestia: Yes? What is it?

Messenger: We've received word that Twilight and her friends have just convinced the Dragon to leave.

Celestia: Oh! What!?

Luna: No way!

Celestia: You were saying Luna!?

Luna: How is that possible?

Celestia: Top apprentice! Right there!

Luna: How?

Celestia: I've been around a while, Luna. And I know when my subjects need help.


[CUT TO: EXT. MOUNTAINTOP - DAY Music begins to play. The mane 6 go through a montage of scenes as they walk down the mountain.]

Twilight Sparkle: This sucks.

Pinkie Pie: Aw Twilight. You killed the groove.

Twilight Sparkle: When you think of grand adventures of dragons and quests, you forget about that long uneventful journey home.

The Bird: Why are we going up? Shouldn't we be going down?

Twilight Sparkle: Well because of that avalanche, we have to take a different route, and…

[They reach the top of the mountain.]

Twilight Sparkle: Wait a minute. We're back where we started!

The Bird: Told you.

Twilight Sparkle: No you did not... The Bird you didn't tell me anything.

Fluttershy: Oh no. We'll never get out of here man!

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy... Not helping.

Pinkie Pie: Why is there still smoke coming from the cave?

Twilight Sparkle: Well is like smog, it's not going to go away just like that. [Under her breath] Oh my god. This is ridiculous.

Fluttershy: Aw man!!! What if we starve to death man! What if we freeze to death man! What if rabbits start showing up. I can't take this man!

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy! I swear to god! If I hear the word man, one more time!

The Bird: What is man anyway.

Twilight Sparkle: I don't know, it's like slang for something.

Pinkie Pie: I know what it is.

Applejack: Isn't it like, some sort of bread or something. Like Man bread.

Twilight Sparkle: It's called NAAN Bread. And NO.

The Bird: Isn't it short for manticore? Like MANticore?

Rarity: Oh, well I think it’s something else.

Pinkie Pie: No guys, seriously I know.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh my, everyone just shut up for a moment! I am trying to look at the map!

The Bird: Maybe I should look at the map. I think I can look at it better you can.

Twilight Sparkle: No I will read the map!

Rarity: I have a really good map at my house. Um. That you could have.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, well if you haven't noticed, we aren't at your house are we!?

Rarity: Well I could just pop over there and get it right now.

Twilight Sparkle: You... wait a minute… [Groan] Why are we trying to climb down the mountain in the first place? Rarity and I can just teleport. Fluttershy and The Bird can just fly down.

Fluttershy: No way man! I'm I flying off of a mountain!

Twilight Sparkle: Stop saying man!

Applejack: Uh, and what about us earth ponies, nibblet?

Twilight Sparkle: Well I can just hold on to you when I teleport.

Pinkie Pie: Would that work?

Twilight Sparkle: Worked with spike.

Pinkie Pie: Oh yah, in Episode 3, right.

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Pinkie Pie: Nothing.

Twilight Sparkle: Alright so are we good? Is that's the plan? We got it? Okay, good. Applejack get over here. Rarity you grab onto Pinkie.

Pinkie Pie: Oh I can get down by myself.

Twilight Sparkle: What? How?

Pinkie Pie: I have my ways.

Fluttershy: Is your way dangerous or scary Pinkie?

Pinkie Pie: No.

Fluttershy: I'm going with Pinkie.

Pinkie Pie: That’s cool. We'll actually probably get down as quickly as you guys will. Anything’s possible with editing.

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: Um... Sure. Okay. I'll see you guys down there then. See ya.


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Fluttershy makes it back home.]

Pinkie Pie: [O.S.] See ya Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: Okay, see ya... See Fluttershy? You made it. You made it in once piece. That wasn't so scary was it? You were very brave up there Fluttershy, you deserve a cupcake or something.

[Angel throws a carrot at her. She turns and looks around.]

Fluttershy: UHHHHH! NOOOOOO! UHHHHHH!

[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 8

     
[FADE IN: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Applejack and Rarity are talking.]

Applejack: Well, it just doesn't sound like it would taste very good.

Rarity: Well then you’re gravely mistaken, um Applejack.

Applejack: Ya okay, well hang on. You say that they're baked?

Rarity: Yes.

Applejack: And you DON'T add water?

Rarity: Um, Yes.

Applejack: Okay. Well... Wouldn't they just like… I don’t know, char or something?

Rarity: No! No. They taste really good. Um. You should try some.

Applejack: Uh. You know... i'm gonna take your word for it.

Rarity: Oh my! Jeez! Why do you guys never accept my gifts? I'm just trying to be nice to you!

Applejack: Listen Nibblet. Maybe we just don't need a dress, or some hat or scarf, or some strange dish that sounds very dangerous to make.

Rarity: Well Applejack, you would totally like the Spaghetti Noodles, if you just tried them! They are good for you.

[Lightning hits the ground. Both Rarity and Applejack huddle together.]

Applejack and Rarity: Ahhh!

Rarity: Um. Maybe we should continue our discussion later.

Applejack: Yah. Good idea.

[Twilight Sparkle calls out to the others from her house.]

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack! Rarity! Get over here quickly!

[Applejack and Rarity rush to Twilight's house. Theme song.]


[CUT TO: INT. LIBRARY - NIGHT Twilight and the other two are in the library.]

Twilight Sparkle: Hey, you know it's probably going to be raining for a while, if you guys want, you can stay.

Rarity: Well that's very generous of you Twilight.

[Camera zooms in on Rarity.]

Applejack: Yah. Thanks a bunch.

Twilight Sparkle: No problem. Make yourselves at home.

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: So... You guys want to do something or…

Rarity: We could um, have a slumber party.

Twilight Sparkle: Rarity... Like... We're not 5.

Rarity: Also that reminds me, Twilight do you want some golf clubs.

Twilight Sparkle: Golf clubs?

Rarity: Golf clubs.Yes, yes. I got them on a fishing trip with my friend, and I would like to give them to you.

Twilight Sparkle: Why did a slumber party make you think of golf clubs?

Rarity: Because you don't have any golf clubs here, in your house.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay you didn't answer my... Applejack, what do you want to do?

Applejack: I don't know.

Twilight Sparkle: Right... Okay, you know, um... i'll be right back.

[Pause.]

Applejack: Where's Spike?

Twilight Sparkle: Spike? Oh he's at the Sugar Pub, I think.


[CUT TO: INT. DONUT SHOP - NIGHT Donut Joe and Spike are having a conversation.]

Spike: Hey, Donut Joe. You want to know a secret?

Donut Joe: Uh... sure.

Spike: Heh... Celestia... is a total troll.

Donut Joe: Whoa there, that's the princess you're talking about.

Spike: But it's true.

Donut Joe: I think you've had too much sugar there. Bud…

Spike: No way.


[CUT TO: INT. LIBRARY - NIGHT Twilight walks in and finds Rarity wet, and Applejack wearing a dress.]

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, i'm back. Whoa... Okay, Rarity why are you wet, and why is Applejack wearing a dress.

Rarity: Oh, well Applejack was expressing that she wanted a dress, so I went to my house to go get one.

Twilight Sparkle: You went out to your house?

Rarity: Yes.

Twilight Sparkle: In the thunderstorm?

Rarity: Yes.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay um… Why didn't you... teleport…

Applejack: Okay, I just want to throw this out here, I did not express interest in buying dress!

Rarity: Yes you did!

Applejack: No I didn’t.

Rarity: Yes you did.

Applejack: No, I did not!

Rarity: But you were angry though.

Applejack: How does that translate to me wanting to buy a dress?

Rarity: How can you not see the translation?

Twilight Sparkle: Guys. Okay. [Sigh] Hey! Guess what, I just found a book on indoor games. We should try some.


[CUT TO: INT. LIBRARY - NIGHT Twilight Applejack and Rarity are sitting and playing eye spy.]

Rarity: I spy with my little eye, something that begins with... D…

[Pause.]

Applejack: Um... Is it a Dress?

Rarity: Yes.


[CUT TO: INT. LIBRARY - NIGHT Applejack is blindfolded.]

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, now go to your left.

[Applejack doesn't go to the left.]

Twilight Sparkle: Your left.

[Applejack doesn't go to the left.]

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, your left.

Applejack: I am going left.

Twilight Sparkle: No your... Fine. Okay, your other left.

Applejack: Well which is it.

Twilight Sparkle: Your left!


[CUT TO: INT. LIBRARY - NIGHT]

Applejack: Nilly, you are the least funniest pony I have ever met.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh come on... I'm kinda funny.

Applejack: Oh ya? Okay. Tell a joke.

Twilight Sparkle: A joke?

Applejack: Ya. A joke.

Twilight Sparkle: Um... okay... Um... Knock knock.

Applejack: Who's there?

Twilight Sparkle: To.

Applejack: To who?

Twilight Sparkle: No, to whom.

[Pause.]

Applejack: Are you serious right now?

Twilight Sparkle: No, i'm joking.

Applejack: Shut up Nibblet.

Rarity: That was the nerdiest joke i've ever heard.

Twilight Sparkle: I got another one.

Applejack: Really…

Twilight Sparkle: Ya. Ya. It's the greatest knock knock joke ever.

Applejack: No way.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh yes way. No, like seriously. This is going to blow your mind.

Applejack: Okay.

Twilight Sparkle: No seriously. You don't understand. This is the absolute king of knock knock jokes.

Applejack: Okay. Well let's hear it then.

Twilight Sparkle: No... I kinda wish I was you right now. I mean you're about to hear it.

Applejack: Okay, uh tell the joke.

Twilight Sparkle: Are you ready?

Applejack: Yes. I'm ready.

Twilight Sparkle: Are you sure you're ready?

Applejack: Yes. I'm, I'm ready.

Rarity: I'm ready.

Twilight Sparkle: No. This is the greatest knock knock joke ever. You have to be positive.

Applejack: Niblet. Just tell the darn joke!

Twilight Sparkle: You're absolutely positive?

Applejack: Tell the joke!

Rarity: Ya, tell the joke.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Alright. You start it.

Applejack: Okay, knock knock.

Twilight Sparkle: Who's there?

Applejack: I…

[Pause.]

Applejack: Wait a minute.


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE - NIGHT You can hear the sound of Celestia's unrest. Celestia is sleeping in her bed.]

Celestia: [Mumble] NOOOOOO!

[Celestia sits bolt upright. Luna bursts in.]

Luna: Celestia! Are you okay!?

Celestia: God. I just had the most horrific nightmare! I saw armies, no legions of the undead marching on to Canterlot!

Luna: I know, I saw.

Celestia: Ya I know it... Wait... What do you mean you saw?

[Pause.]

Luna: Uh... I can go into ponies dreams.

Celestia: Wait. You can do what now?

Luna: Go into ponies dreams.

Celestia: What!? Since when!?

Luna: Since always... That's like my thing.

Celestia: What?


[CUT TO: INT. LIBRARY - NIGHT All 3 of them are sitting down.]

Twilight Sparkle: How about we tell ghost stories, now.

Rarity: Oh! I know a ghost story and it is not made up.


[CUT TO: INT. DONUT SHOP - NIGHT Spike and Donut Joe are still talking.]

Spike: And that's where she keeps her experimental zombie pony army.

Donut Joe: Uh, shut up Spike... There's uh... There's no zombie ponies in the Everfree Forest.

Spike: Oh yeah? And how do you know?

Donut Joe: Because... I've been all over that forest.

Spike: You have?

Donut Joe: Oh yeah. For about a month.

[Pause.]

Spike: Why?

Donut Joe: Well I... I got lost.

Spike: Oh... Well what happened?

Donut Joe: Well I tell ya. There were a lot of horrible things in there. There were manticores, and timberwolves, and hydras, crocodiles, and bats, and spiders... and ghosts.

Spike: Oh.

Donut Joe: And aliens…

Spike: That's.

Donut Joe: And nazis.

Spike: Oh.

Donut Joe: There's a lot of messed up stuff in that forest.

[Pause.]

Donut Joe: But there's no zombie ponies.

Spike: Wow. How did you get out of there?

Donut Joe: Well I... I… I kinda stumbled out.

Spike: I see.

Donut Joe: Then I opened this pub.

Spike: Ah.

Donut Joe: Oh jeez, I kinda let myself go a little.

[Pause.]

Spike: You know, Donut Joe?

Donut Joe: Yah?

Spike: You're a pretty cool dude.

Donut Joe: You better believe it.


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA’S CASTLE - NIGHT Celestia and Luna are still talking.]

Luna: I can't believe you don't remember that.

Celestia: Wait a minute, wait a minute!

Luna: What?

Celestia: Why would you want to go into someone's dream in the first place?

Luna: What?

Celestia: Why would you... You are going into the uncensored minds and imaginations of

Luna: Oh Celestia! Gross!


[CUT TO: INT. LIBRARY - DAY It is still raining.]

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, for the last time! There are no such things as zombie ponies!

Rarity: But I saw one the other day.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh no you did not! You did not see a zombie pony.

Rarity: But it was lurking in the garden.

Twilight Sparkle: Lurking? Did you really say the word lurking?

Applejack: Uh nilly, don't you think that you're over reacting a little bit.

Twilight Sparkle: I'm no. Freakin. Zombies.

[Pause.]

Applejack: What?

Twilight Sparkle: I, can't. Fri. GAH!!!!

Applejack: Okay Nilly. You're acting crazy. You need to calm down.

Twilight Sparkle: I'm acting crazy!?

Rarity: Ya. You're shouting a us.

Twilight Sparkle: That's not being crazy! You know what is being crazy? Trying to consistently sell dresses out of context, and thinking apples are mangos!

Applejack: Twilight! Shut up!

[Pause. There is total silence.]

Applejack: Nilly, you have got to calm down. Every time you don't understand something you lose it, and everything falls apart.

Twilight Sparkle: Well maybe that's because nothing in this town makes any sense!

Applejack: Well maybe that's just who we are. Why can't you just accept that?

Twilight Sparkle: I... That's not…

Applejack: Just because we aren't just like you, or think just like you, doesn't mean you have the right to condemn us.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh…

Applejack: Nibblet!

[Pause.]

Applejack: Now apologize to me and Rarity.

Twilight Sparkle: I… [Deep breath] I'm... sorry... I'm sorry. Really I am. You’re right. It's not fair for me to do that. I’m sorry.

[Pause.]

Applejack: Apology accepted. And you know what Twilight?

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Applejack: I’m. [Deep Breath] I'm farming apples.

Twilight Sparkle: What!?

Applejack: Yep. I reckon, since i'm the element of honesty and all... I shouldn't be lying to myself and accept the truth. I'm farming apples…

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: Wow... Why did you think they were Mangos in the first place?

Applejack: Um... I... I don't really want to talk about it right now.

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: I say we call it a night guys, and get some sleep.


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE - NIGHT]

Luna: Look I go in to stop nightmares.

Celestia: Well you certainly did a damn good job with mine!

Luna: Well that's what i'm trying to tell you! I couldn't interfere with that one. It's like... something... someone... was locking me out.

Celestia: Locking you out?

Luna: Yeah.

[Pause.]

Celestia: Like it was being controlled?

[Pause.]

Luna: I... Ya... How do you know that?

Celestia: There is only one pony who has been able to control nightmares…

Luna: Who?

Celestia: King Sombra…

Luna: King Sombra?

Celestia: Mm hm.

Luna: But... Didn't we kill him?

Celestia: Ya. But he has this annoying habit of coming back to life! Seriously, this is like the 6th time.

Luna: How is that possible?

Celestia: Oh you know, there's always some lone follower that sacrifices their hoof or something to bring him back. It's annoying as hell…

Luna: Well, he doesn't sound that tough.

Celestia: We cannot ignore that he's come back. For if we do... That dream could become a reality.

[The both stare out the window.]

[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 9

     
[FADE IN: EXT. LIBRARY - DAY Twilight is in bed. She wakes up.]

Twilight Sparkle: Uh...

Spike: Oh look who's finally up.

Twilight Sparkle: Morning Spike.

Spike: Man, what happened? You went to bed at like 5 last night.

Twilight Sparkle: Yah. Had a long arch battle with Trixie yesterday.


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Multiple Trixie's are walking around in the town square.]

Trixie: And how do you expect to defeat my army of clones!?

Other Trixies: Ha ha ha ha ha. You're going down Twilight! Frank really likes ponies! Fat! Cower before me!

Twilight Sparkle: Anti-clone spell.

Trixie: What!?

Other Trixies: Noooooooo!

[All the other Trixie's blow up.]


[CUT TO: INT. LIBRARY - DAY Twilight walks over to the mirror.]

Twilight Sparkle: Ya, i'm just gonna take the day off today.

Spike: [Gags as a letter is shot from his mouth]

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: Uh... You okay spike?

Spike: Letter from the Princess.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh.


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE Luna and Celestia stand in front of a window.]

Luna: So... Any word about where Sombra is yet?

Celestia: No, not yet. But I have a spy due to give their report to me today.

Luna: That's great.

Celestia: Yes. I have instructed the elements of harmony to retrieve the message from the spy.

Luna: Okay... Why?

Celestia: What?

Luna: Why can't you retrieve the message?

Celestia: Because... i'm busy!

[Luna stares at her.]


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Twilight and Spike are walking along.]

Spike: So Twi, why do you have to retrieve the message?

Twilight Sparkle: Well, Celestia trusts me.

Spike: Seems kinda lazy to me.

Twilight Sparkle: Celestia is not lazy. She's disciplined and just. She's probably got a lot on her plate at the moment. I mean, there's a lot of stuff's been happening lately. There's been some pretty nasty riots going on in the Crystal Empire.... And uh, I hear the Changelings are doing something. They've been a bit more active lately. You know, it's probably pretty stressful to her, keeping the piece.

[Twilight stops and stares at a hoof protruding from a house.]

Twilight Sparkle: Uh...

[Long pause. Pinkie pops her head out.]

Pinkie Pie: Twilight!

Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie?

Pinkie Pie: Quick! Get inside!

Twilight Sparkle: What are you doing?

Pinkie Pie: The hoof signal!

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: Um.

Pinkie Pie: Just get in here.


[CUT TO: INT. SUGAR CUBE CORNER - DAY 10 minutes later.]

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, so we'll know it's the spy when we see the signal. Does everyone know the signal?

The Bird: No. I forgot.

Twilight Sparkle: [Sigh] It's three hoof beats on the ground.

The Bird: Three hoof beats?

Twilight Sparkle: Ya. The spy will... The spy will hoof the ground three times.

The Bird: Okay, got it.

Twilight Sparkle: Good.

Spike: I'm gonna go get a snack.

[Spike goes inside the kitchen.]

Rarity: Hey, um I made some stealth outfits for you, if you all, if any of you are interested.

[Spike shouts from inside the kitchen.]

Spike: Hey Pinkie. Where do you keep the milk?

Pinkie Pie: Uh... In the fridge?

Applejack: Guys, look! Somepony's outside.

Twilight Sparkle: Let me see.

[Twilight walks over and looks out the window.]

Rarity: Look. That's the signal!

Twilight Sparkle: Awesome, let's go.

Applejack: Wait, I don't think that's her.

Twilight Sparkle: What do you mean? Of course it is.

Applejack: But the signal's three hoof beats. That's like seven.

Spike: Pinkie?

Pinkie Pie: Yah?

Spike: You sure it's in the fridge?

Pinkie Pie: Well where else would it be?

Twilight Sparkle: Guys... I don't think it matters how many hoof beats there are.

Spike: I don't see any milk in here.

Pinkie Pie: Well I guess we don't have any then.

Applejack: See! Look at that. Look at that! That's like more than 3 times. That's like 5 times right there. That is not the signal.

Twilight Sparkle: I think the point is, she's hoofing the ground.

Spike: Pinkie? Where do you keep the cookies?

Pinkie Pie: On the top shelf of the pantry.

Twilight Sparkle: Spike. Stop taking Pinkie's food.

Spike: Twi... We're all friends here.

The Bird: But if she isn't the spy, then we'd blow our cover.

Rarity: Oh, well if that happens, then we can just offer her a bribe.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay guys, let's think about this for a moment. There is a pony that we've never seen before, in a disguise, hoofing the ground... I'm pretty darn sure that's the spy.

Apple Bloom: I agree with Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: Whoa. There's a kid in here. How... What are you do... Where... Where did you come from?

Applejack: Aw, this is my little sister, Apple bloom.

Apple Bloom: Pleased to make your acquaintance.

Twilight Sparkle: This is your sister?

Applejack: Yah.

Twilight Sparkle: But... Her accent.

Applejack: Oh, well she goes to a foreign school for gifted earth ponies. Very Prestigious. We're all so proud of her.

Rarity: Oh, that's nice. Would you like to. [Slips on a banana peel] Whoa!

Apple Bloom: We should stop wasting time, and retrieve the message.

Spike: Oh my god! There's an alligator in here!

Pinkie Pie: Oh that's just Gummy.

Spike: What!?

Pinkie Pie: Gummy, he's my pet.

Spike: You have a pet alligator?

Pinkie Pie: Ya.

[Pause.]

Spike: Wow. I have just found new respect for you Pinkie.

Pinkie Pie: Oh, thanks.

Twilight Sparkle: Guys. Can we get back to this guys?

Rarity: Why does Celestia want us to do this anyway? Can't she do it?

Spike: Oh! That's what I said!

Twilight Sparkle: Shut up Spike!

The Bird: Ya, it is a little weird.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, she gave us this mission because she trusts us, that's why!

Rarity: But couldn't she just. [Slips on a banana peel] Whoa!

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, look. She's probably very busy and doesn't have time for this sort of thing.


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE Celestia and Luna stand in front of a stain glass window.]

Celestia: What!? No way! It's so totally Sherclop!

Luna: No, it's Greg Hoffman, by a long shot.

Celestia: Well let's settle this once and for all! [Addressing a guard] Guard!

Jenkinson's Twin Brother: Ah.

Celestia: Ah. Jenkinson's twin brother.

Jenkinson's Twin Brother: I do have a name your majesty.

Celestia: Alright, who is the worst director? Greg Hoffman or Sherclop Pones?

Peterson: Um... Isn't the worst director Jack Getschman?

[Luna and Celestia groan.]

Celestia: Oh well no duh!

Luna: Obviously.

Celestia: Jeez Louise.

Luna: No competition there.

Celestia: Ya, no we're saying if Jack Getschman didn't exist, then who would be the worst.

Jenkinson's Twin Brother: Oh... Well um... Well you know i'd have to say neither of them then.

Celestia: What? Who's worse than Sherclop Pones?

Jenkinson's Twin Brother: Well, I'd say that Wacarb is the worst.

[Pause.]

Celestia: Who the heck is Wacarb?


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY 3 background ponies stand outside enjoying the day.]

Daisy: How you doing Lily?

Lily: Oh yah, I'm doing great! Still getting over the thing with the rabbits though.

Daisy: Ya! That was messed up. I had nightmares about that for weeks! Oh hey Rose! Watcha doing!

Rose: Oh, i'm just watering my roses... You know...

Daisy: Oh wow, that's great! You know, I've never seen someone water plants like you do... I wish I could do that.

[The Editor stops the scene.]

The Editor: Okay. Wow.... That got really annoying really fast... Just gonna skip this scene here.The scene fast forwards to the mane 6 at sugarcube corner.


[CUT TO: INT. SUGAR CUBE CORNER - DAY Twilight is arguing with the rest of the main 6.]

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, so we're good? Rarity? Are you good.

Rarity: I'm totally down. [Slips on a banana] Whoa. There's like a banana peel here or something.

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack you good?

Applejack: I guess.

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy you good?

Fluttershy: Uhhh!

Twilight Sparkle: Okay. The Bird?

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: The Bird.

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: Hello?

The Bird: Hello.

Twilight Sparkle: [Sigh]

The Bird: Hello.

Twilight Sparkle: Are you ready?

The Bird: For what?

Twilight Sparkle: [Sigh] The Mission! The thing!

The Bird: Oh, yes. Sorry, I blanked out there for a second.

Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie, you ready?

Pinkie Pie: Illusions... Dark powers... What a shame... I expected something... different.

[Pause. Everyone stares at her.]

Pinkie Pie: No wait a minute, that wasn't my line.

Twilight Sparkle: What the hell are you talking about!?

Pinkie Pie: Sorry, sorry! I don't know what got into me.

Twilight Sparkle: Are you ready!?

Pinkie Pie: Yes.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, let's do this!

Applejack: Uh, sugar cube.

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Applejack: She's gone.

Twilight Sparkle: Damn it! Did you see where she went!?

Applejack: No.

Twilight Sparkle: Urg! Now she could be anywhere!

Pinkie Pie: She's heading for the everfree forest.

Twilight Sparkle: What? How do you know?

Pinkie Pie: It's in the scri... Mmm, I don't know.

Twilight Sparkle: Then why did you say it?

Pinkie Pie: Because, I got a really good feeling about it.

[Pause.]

Pinkie Pie: Well it's better than just sticking around here and arguing over it.

Applejack: Wait! Where's Applebloom!?

Twilight Sparkle: I don't know.

Applejack: Oh no! She's went outside! And the spy is still out there!

The Bird: Maybe she got bored, and just walked out.

Pinkie Pie: She went to follow Zecora.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay how do you know that!

Pinkie Pie: Isn't it obvious?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh. No it isn't! How do you know that?

Pinkie Pie: I... Ummm.

Applejack: Listen, y'all! I'm going out to find Applebloom!

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack wait! God damnit.


[CUT TO: EXT. EVERFREE FOREST - DAY Applebloom is following Zecora. Applejack calls out to her.]

Applejack: Applebloom! Oh thank goodness. Come over here right now!

Twilight Sparkle: Hey, it's the spy! [Addressing the spy] Hey! We were sent by Celestia! What's the message!?

Zecora: Okay. [Clears throat] The one she seeks is nowhere to be found. But for another, darkness fills her heart, and thus evil creeps over the land. The tide comes in, back and forth, everyday, eroding the rock, and weakening it. Tell her to beware. For the southern territories quiver like a rabbit that's lost in the cold. And like the rabbit, she must be wary of the winter's inevitable coming.

[Zecora disappears into the fog. Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: The heck kind-of a message was that?

Apple Bloom: It is a Zebra. They speak in Riddles.

Twilight Sparkle: Well it's a stupid riddle! What the heck are we supposed to take from that?

The Bird: I understood it.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh really? What is it about?

The Bird: It was something to do with rabbits.

Applejack: This is just stupid. I'm going home!

Twilight Sparkle: No wait... Pinkie. You seem to know everything. What did it mean?

Pinkie Pie: I don't know. I thought she was going to speak in Rhymes or something.

Twilight Sparkle: Well that's just great... Wow... Great job everyone.

Pinkie Pie: Well we could try to work it out.

[Pause.]

Pinkie Pie: Um. Does anyone remember what the riddle actually was?

Twilight Sparkle: Damn it.

Apple Bloom: Eh gads man. This rediculous! I would have thought you were all cleverer than this. Don't worry, I've got it. Twilight, can I borrow your dragon.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh. Sure...


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE Celestia and Luna are standing in front of a window.]

Celestia: I have just gotten word from the elements!

Luna: And?

Celestia: Well, they haven't found him yet. But there is another problem stirring in the southern territories. Chrysalis is on the move. She's sending troops to occupy some small towns outside of her borders. She's getting more powerful.

Luna: Should we be concerned?

Celestia: Yes. Chrysalis is much cleverer than Sombra. It would be very dangerous if she gets too much power.

[CUT TO: The End.]


Episode 10

     
[FADE IN: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Celestia rides down from Canterlot on a flying chariot. Five of the mane six rush over to greet her. Celestia lands and gets off of the Chariot.]

Celestia: Ah, Twilight Sparkle. My faithful student.

Twilight Sparkle: Princess. This is a pleasant surprise.

Celestia: On the contrary Twilight, no. No it isn't. You see, I have finally discovered who's been sending me those disgusting, libel filled letters!

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Celestia: It was you, Twilight. And for your high treason against me and the empire, you have been sentenced to death!

[The mane six gaze up at Celestia horrified.]


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY The Mane six stand there horrified.]

Twilight Sparkle: Sentenced to Death!?

[Pause.]

Celestia: Ahhhhh.

Twilight Sparkle: Ohhhhh.

Celestia: I got you.

Twilight Sparkle: You got me.

Twilight Sparkle: That was... Ha. I was terrified for a moment.

Celestia: [Laughing] The look on your face! That was priceless! Ah... I wish I brought a camera. That would have been... The Fourth Steven, make sure I bring a camera next time.

The Fourth Steven: It will be done, your majesty.

Celestia: Yes, uh. Now, to business. I have come to give you an important message.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes Princess?

Celestia: We believe that some sort of a biological weapon has been launched onto Ponyville. We have no idea where it is, but we're pretty sure it landed somewhere around here.

Twilight Sparkle: A biological weapon!?

Celestia: Yes! You must find and eliminate it, before it eliminates you... That is all.

Twilight Sparkle: You can count on us Princess.

Celestia: I know I can, Twilight. Now fly! Fly my minions!

Twilight Sparkle: Good Bye Princess!

[Celestia flies off on her chariot.]

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, you heard the Princess. Spread out and start looking for this thing.


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE Celestia and Luna are standing in front of the window again.]

Luna: Well. I talked with our spies and they can't trace where the weapon came from. When are you leaving to warn Ponyville?

Celestia: Oh, I already went. I just came back.

Luna: You already went?

Celestia: Ya.

Luna: Are you gonna help them look for it?

Celestia: No.

Luna: Do they even know what it looks like?

[Pause.]

Celestia: Nnnno.

Luna: Celestia! You are the Princess! You need to go down there right now and help them!

Celestia: Uh Ptt Luna. They'll be fine. Okay. They don't need my help.

Luna: I'm pretty darn sure they'd appreciate it!

Celestia: Luna. Luna. Remember what I taught you? Don't give your subjects what they want, give them what they need. That's like the first thing I taught you.

Luna: You didn't teach... You have never said that. Ever.

Celestia: I have too. You just probably weren't listening.

Luna: Oh, that's what you think?

Celestia: Ya, that's what I think.

Luna: Well you know what I think? I think Equestria should get a new princess! A princess that doesn't suck!

The Guards: [Wombo Combo]


[CUT TO: EXT. FOREST WALK - DAY Pinkie Stands alone. There is a pause.]

Pinkie Pie: So you're thinking a song would boost our ratings?

The Editor: Yah. All the cool abridges are doing it.

Pinkie Pie: Hmmm. Okay. Well let's try it.[Takes in a deep breath] My name is Pinkie Pie.

[She coughs and stops because her sings sounds terrible.]

Pinkie Pie: Wow. Okay. That's. My... I cannot sing.

The Editor: Oh come on. You're not that bad at singing.

Pinkie Pie: Oh okay fine, i'll try it for real.

Pinkie Pie: Okay here we go.

[Music begins to play.]

Pinkie Pie: The Editor, would you kindly put the lyrics in the description please.

The Editor: Yes ma'am!

Pinkie Pie: Thank you. [Clears throat] Pinkie Pie here. Singing an abridged song. Haven't been existing or around long... But you know I know the secret of life Yes it's true We're all just puppets in a series on youtube. Which, you know, brings up the question. What is the point of it all? I mean we're all just made up characters in a dubbing. With the constant possibility of Hasbro just shutting us down. But you know, I shouldn't worry about that. I should worry about what I do now to make my life memorable. Witchcraft and MAS's Pinkie's shine Standing out, with gypsy bards and spite But It's kinda funny that our pink party pony Breaks the barrier of barriers Talking to you goons in real life! I said I'm singing an abridged song And I tell you I don't expect to live long But you know That's just abridged life Yes it's true We're all just puppets in a series on youtube.

[Pause.]

Pinkie Pie: Meh. I don't know.


[CUT TO: INT. SUGAR CUBE CORNER - DAY The CAKES are baking things when Twilight walks in.]

Twilight Sparkle: Charlene the Gossiper. We meet at last.

Charlene the Gossiper: Well Twilight Sparkle. I've heard a lot about you.

Twilight Sparkle: Ya, i'm sure you have. Listen, I was wondering, because you seem to know everything that goes on in the town.

Charlene the Gossiper: Oh. Is this about what Berry Punch was doing the other night?

Twilight Sparkle: No. What? No. uh... Look. Have you heard or seen anything unusual lately?

[Pause.]

Charlene the Gossiper: Like what Berry Punch was doing the other night?

Twilight Sparkle: No. stop. No... look. I don't want to cause any alarm here, but their might be some sort of a... a... biological weapon running around.

[Fluttershy bursts in.]

Fluttershy: Twilight! Help!

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy!? What's wrong?

Fluttershy: I think I found the weapon, man!

Twilight Sparkle: Really!? Where is it?

Fluttershy: It's in my hair!

[The Parasprite pokes it's head out.]

Twilight Sparkle: That's... What the bugs?

Fluttershy: These aren't bugs man! Look at them!

Twilight Sparkle: They're. They're just bugs, Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: No way are these bugs man! Look, look at them! They are literally faces with wings.

Twilight Sparkle: I... uh.

Fluttershy: Look into their eyes! They're green merciless eyes! Whatever we do, we can't feed them after midnight man! Who knows what could happen!

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershhhh! Calm down! Okay. A panic is the last thing we need right now! And now that I think about it, Charlene is probably the worst pony to tell this to.

Fluttershy: [Gasp. Gasp. Gasp.]

Twilight Sparkle: What are you doing?

Fluttershy: I think i'm going to have a panic attack!

Twilight Sparkle: Well don't. God! Fluttershy that's not the weapon. It's gonna be like an illness or something!

Fluttershy: An illness!

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy! Shhh! I swear to god! Just go home!


[CUT TO: EXT. FARM - DAY Applejack, Big Mac, and Granny Smith have set up a barricade outside of their farm.]

Big Mac: So I heard they're supposed to be faces with wings. That sounds terrifying.

Applejack: Wow Big Mac. You have a real talent for ventriloquism. That's amazing. How did you do that?

Big Mac: I'll never tell. Wait, what is that?

[The parasprites roll past Applejack and her family and hit their farm, destroying it.]

Applejack: [Gasp]

[Pause.]

Applejack: Those darn triblets!


[CUT TO: EXT. FLUTTERSHY'S HOUSE - DAY Twilight and Rarity come up to Fluttershy's house.]

Twilight Sparkle: The swarm seems to be coming from Fluttershy's house.

[They open the door.]

Fluttershy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Twilight Sparkle: What the hell did you do!?

Fluttershy: Twilight! I swear to god! I had fifteen heart attacks man! NOOOOO! AHHHHHHHH!

[The scene zooms in on Twilight. She is about to go into a flashback when it suddenly stops.]

Random Voice: Flashback.

Twilight Sparkle: [Cough] The heck was that?

[Applejack comes along.]

Applejack: Girls! You gotta help me! They're all over the town! They're destroying everything!

Twilight Sparkle: Grrr! That's it! Heat up the death ray!

Applejack: The what!?

Twilight Sparkle: The death... friendship... The magic... The friendship ray. The magic is friendship.

Applejack: What!? You can't do that!

Twilight Sparkle: What!? Why!?

Applejack: Well last time we used the elements of Harmony, Nightmare Moon was screaming about how her mind was being melted.

Twilight Sparkle: I... Your point!?

Applejack: My point!? My point is, is that sounds horrible. I don't want to do that to people!

Rarity: Ya. Um... That doesn't sound very generous at all.

Fluttershy: And what if Friendship makes them stronger, man?

Twilight Sparkle: Guys... It's just... Alright, Fine. I'll go back to the library and see if I can figure something out.


[CUT TO: EXT. LIBRARY - DAY Twilight runs around trying to think of a way to stop the parasprites.]

Twilight Sparkle: Alright Spike, I got it! I'll use a spell to make the bugs magnetically attract to each other, thus making them a giant ball and allowing us to roll them into the forest!

Spike: What... That's a spell?

Twilight Sparkle: Ya...

Spike: You're telling me that someone came up with a spell that makes bugs magnetically attracted to each other...

Twilight Sparkle: It's magic Spike. Okay, it doesn't need an explanation!

[Twilight rushes out the door and leaves Spike in the house.]

Spike: That's... Stupid.


[CUT TO: EXT. FOREST WALK - DAY Twilight and the Main 6 are galloping and moving the ball away.]

Applejack: We almost got them, girls. Just a little farther.

[Pinkie runs up to Twilight.]

Pinkie Pie: Well butter my biscuit and talk about eye candy. What are you guys up to?

Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie? Where the hell have you been?

Pinkie Pie: Aw, just chill-in. Say! You know. You know, this give me an idea. People like watching action and violence on TV right?

Twilight Sparkle: What the heck is TV?

Pinkie Pie: Oh you know, like the movies. Like a movie theater.

[The Bird flies down.]

The Bird: Are you guys talking about movies?

Twilight Sparkle: No. Get back to your post.

The Bird: You wanna hear my top 3 favorite movies?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh no. Get back to your post!

The Bird: My third favorite movie is, THE BIRDS.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh good god.

The Bird: My second favorite movie... is, THE BIRD MAN.

Twilight Sparkle: Why doesn't that surprise me.

The Bird: And my first favorite movie... is BIRDEMIC.

Twilight Sparkle: I! Birdemic!? Birdemic is your favorite movie?

The Bird: Yes... I can still remember the first time I saw it.

[A scene from the movie comes on. A bird hits a window.]

The Bird: Uh... Such a great movie.

Twilight Sparkle: The Bird!

The Bird: Yes.

Twilight Sparkle: Get back to your post!

[They roll the ball into the forest.]

All of Them: Yay! Whoa hoo! We did it!

Twilight Sparkle: [Sigh] Never again.


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE Celestia and Luna are standing in front of the window. Pause.]

Celestia: So, Luna... It seems that the elements solved the problem.

Luna: [Grumble]

Celestia: What was that? I didn't quite catch that.

Luna: Okay... Celestia. You were right. I was wrong. I don't know how you do it, but you do it... you know? And... teach me.

Celestia: What?

Luna: I give up. I want to learn how to become as wise as you. Teach me.

[Pause.]

Celestia: No.

Luna: What? Why not?

Celestia: Like I said Luna. I don't give ponies what they want, I give them what they need.

Guards: [Wombo Combo!]

[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 11

     
Spike: But what's the point of wearing it!?

Twilight Sparkle: Spike, It's cold outside.

Spike: But you’re covered in hair. And, doesn't the scarf only keep your neck warm? What about the rest of your body?

Twilight Sparkle: I, you'd be surprised at how much a scarf keeps you warm.

Spike: [Sigh] Oh my god, I… What is... What are you putting on now?

Twilight Sparkle: It's called a saddle.

Spike: What's a saddle for?

Twilight Sparkle: It's... Well it's... Stylish.

Spike: Ha. Since when have you cared about style?

Twilight Sparkle: Well it... I... I mean, you know.

Spike: Is it "surprisingly warm" like the scarf.

Twilight Sparkle: I. Well… Um.


Spike: You know what it look like me? It looks like a seat.

Twilight Sparkle: I... I guess it kinda looks like that.

Spike: Ya. You know that's exactly what it looks like. It looks like a seat... I'm gonna sit on it.

Twilight Sparkle: What, nooooo. No don’t. You de… You will not... You will do no such thing.

Spike: But look at it, it’s like it was made for me..

Twilight Sparkle: Well you’re not sitting on it! Stop. My God…

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, I think I'm ready.

Spike: Aw, little Twi. Look at you, you’re all dressed up for your winter walk.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh shut up, Spike.

Spike: Let’s see what we got here, you got your little boots, and your scarf, and your saddle. Oh ya. Ya, you’re totally ready for the freezing cold snow.

Twilight Sparkle: Shut up Spike!


Ponies: [Mumbling]

Mayor Mare: Now I never want to see this happen again. Alright? No more, grand expensive sounding musical numbers. Got it?

Ponies: [Okay]

Mayor Mare: Good. Now go away.

Twilight Sparkle: Huh. Wonder what that was all about…


Twilight Sparkle: Hey The Bird.

The Bird: Hello.

Twilight Sparkle: Ya... Um… Whatcha wearing there?


The Bird: Oh this? This my new winter coat. It's the latest trend.

Twilight Sparkle: What, that?

The Bird: Yes.

Twilight Sparkle: Does it keep you warm?

The Bird: Well, kinda... It's better than a scarf at least. Those are just stupid.

The WC Guys: [Wombo Combo]

Twilight Sparkle: What was that?

The Bird: I don't know. But look. It comes with a little armband.

Twilight Sparkle: I… I see.

The Bird: And it's blue.

Twilight Sparkle: I. That's terrific.


[Pause]

The Bird: You’re right, I should have gotten the bird themed one.


Twilight Sparkle: Yah... Um… Yah uh, Hey.

The Bird: Hello.

Twilight Sparkle: The Bird. Um, actually. You know, I'm curious. Why are you called the Bird?

The Bird: So that there's no confusion.

Twilight Sparkle: I… [Blows in defeat] Kay…


Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Applejack.

Applejack: Oh hey Nilly.

Twilight Sparkle: Hey, you’re wearing a vest too?

Applejack: Oh every pony's wearing one. See look.


Twilight Sparkle: Why? It's not even a winter coat.

Applejack: Well it's kinda more of a style thing, You know?

Twilight Sparkle: I see.


Applejack: So what does your's look like?

Twilight Sparkle: My what?

Applejack: Your vest.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, um… I don't have one.

Applejack: You don't have a vest!?

Twilight Sparkle: No.

Applejack: Why not!?

Twilight Sparkle: Well because... I… I don't.

Applejack: But they're great. Look, you get a little armband.

Twilight Sparkle: Ya. I see that.

Applejack: And you can get them in a bunch of different colors.

Twilight Sparkle: That's great.

Applejack: It's customizable.

Twilight Sparkle: Ya. I get it.

Applejack: I mean it's not like you'd be wearing a saddle. That would be ridiculous in this weather.

The WC Guys: [Wombo Combo]

Twilight Sparkle: What is that?

Applejack: What is what?

Twilight Sparkle: Wha, shhhh! Listen. Listen.

[Pause]

Applejack: I don't hear anything.

Twilight Sparkle: It was like... shouting…

Applejack: Are you okay, Nilly?

Twilight Sparkle: I’m fine… I [Sigh] I'm just gonna keep going. I’ll see you later, Applejack.

Applejack: Okay, see ya.


Pinkie Pie: Helloooooo, Twilight!

Twilight Sparkle: Hey Pinkie.

Pinkie Pie: Whatcha doing?

Twilight Sparkle: Just going on a winter walk.

Pinkie Pie: Oh cool. Well enjoy it while you can.

Twilight Sparkle: What? What is that supposed to mean?

Pinkie Pie: Oh, well the mayor’s gonna have a fit and order everyone to clean up the snow.

Twilight Sparkle: Really? How do you know.

Pinkie Pie: Uh... Damn it, I got to stop doing that.

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Pinkie Pie: Say… You like my new vest.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes, Pinkie. I like your new vest.

Pinkie Pie: Isn't it great? It's got a little.

Twilight Sparkle: Armband, yah I know.

Pinkie Pie: And it comes in different colors.

Twilight Sparkle: Colors! Ya. Ya I get it!

Pinkie Pie: It's customizable.


Twilight Sparkle: Customizable. Ya, I get it. Where did you guys get those anyway?

Pinkie Pie: Ha! You wouldn't believe it if I told you. Get this, it's from…


Twilight Sparkle: Rarity?

Rarity: Um Hello Twilight. Uh... Do you want to buy a Vest?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh, no thanks. I just came to congratulate you on your outfit. I mean. I've seen ponies all over wearing them.


Rarity: Yes. Um… Yes. It has a little armband on it... and it's customizable.


Twilight Sparkle: So i've heard. But it's the winter though. Shouldn't you be selling warmer clothing?

Rarity: Well we're covered in hair Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: Well... Ya... But…

Rarity: And at least it's not as useless as a scarf or winter saddle.

The WC Guys: [Wombo Combo]

Twilight Sparkle: Seriously... What is that? What's that sound?

Rarity: I don't hear anything.

Spike: Maybe the universe just hates you.


Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm... So what are, what are you making now?

Rarity: Oh, It's um... the next big thing. I call it... Bird nest hats.

[Pause]

Twilight Sparkle: Ya, um... I'll leave you to it then.


Twilight Sparkle: Uh, Fluttershy?


Fluttershy: [Scream]

Twilight Sparkle: Whoa, ha. What are you doing?

Fluttershy: Oh. I'm trying to get over my fear of rabbits.

Twilight Sparkle: By sticking your head in the burrows?

Fluttershy: Ya. I want to be brave enough to face the rabbits in their own turf. When I bought this vest today. You know, I got one with a rabbit on it. You see? See on the armband?

Twilight Sparkle: Ya, I see that.

Fluttershy: It's customizable.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes... God! I get that it's customizable!


[Pause]


Fluttershy: Ya, well anyway. I looked at it, and I thought. You know, I'm better than this! I can totally take on the rabbits! I just got to be brave enough. You know?

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy. You know, you don't need to do this. Okay? If you asked me, I'd say you’re already brave.

Fluttershy: What?

Twilight Sparkle: Look at what you've done. You've faced off against Nightmare Moon. You helped us defeat the biological weapon. You've encountered Manticores, and Griffons, and... and hey! You looked a fully grown dragon in the eye!

Fluttershy: Ya, but I was trying to fly away.

Twilight Sparkle: But you didn't! You didn't fly away. The dragon did.


[Pause]

Fluttershy: Ya... I guess it did didn't it…

Twilight Sparkle: Yah! Rabbits are nothing compared to what you've been through.

Fluttershy: Gee... Thanks man.


Twilight Sparkle: No problem. And, and Fluttershy, don't... You shouldn't go looking in the burrows. That’s… You don't know what’s living in these.

Twilight Sparkle: Ahhh! Snakes! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my God! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my God!

Fluttershy: Aw. Man. That's just. Oh god... That’s... Aw. That's just messed up right there.

Twilight Sparkle: Ow! Ahhhhhhhh! Why!? Why!? Ahhhhhhhhh!

Spike: Wow.

Twilight Sparkle: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Spike: That's kinda insane.

Fluttershy: Oh man! I… Wow… Well man, that never happens.


Celestia: [Grumbling] Darn it.

Luna: What?

Celestia: I don't get it! Where is he!?

Luna: Sombra?

Celestia: Yes! I have informants scouring all over the southern territories! But I can't find him!


Luna: Well why are you just looking in the south? Why not the north or west?

Celestia: Because the last time I killed him was in Hayseed Swamps, which is in the south!

Luna: Could he have moved?

Celestia: Impossible. We would know about it. He's like a giant black cloud of smoke. You couldn't miss him.

Luna: What kind of smoke? Like dragon's smoke?

Celestia: Ya, like Dragon's smoke…

[Pause] [Flashback]


Pinkie Pie: Why is there still smoke coming from the cave?

Fluttershy: You were very brave up there Fluttershy, you deserve a cupcake or something.


Celestia: Oh... Shoot…

Messenger: Princess Celestia! Urgent news! We've found Sombra. He's in the north. He's taken over the Crystal imperial government.


Celestia: [Gag] Darn it.


Twilight Sparkle: Well there's always tomorrow for my winter walk.

Spike: Uh… I think the snow will be gone by then.

Twilight Sparkle: What? No it won't.

Spike: Uh. Ya it will. The Mayor said so.


Mayor Mare: Right! I have had it! I have been running around, all day, putting out songs. It's this weather. Whenever it snows, you all feel inclined to sing. Well no more! All of you, clear up the snow right now.

Ponies: [Mumble of Disappointment] Aw…

Mayor Mare: No! No! You had your chance. And you blew it. Start clearing up winter. I'm not... I will not tolerate this!


Twilight Sparkle: Aw man…

Spike: Aw, don’t feel bad Twi. I know what will cheer you up.


Twilight Sparkle: What?

Spike: Those vests are now 50% off.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh my god, stop! There's no way i'm buying a vest.

Spike: Well hear me out on this Twi. Maybe Rarity will stop asking if you want to buy a dress, if you actually buy one.

[Pause]

Twilight Sparkle: [Sigh] I... Hmmm. Okay, you might have something there.


Twilight Sparkle: Alright, Rarity. I'll buy a vest.

Rarity: Oh... Ya, um... You know, I'm... I’m not sure if that's something that you want there... um Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: What? Why not?

Rarity: Well um, you see. No pony wears the vests anymore. Because um... That was yesterday's fashion.


Twilight Sparkle: Yesterday's fashion?

Rarity: Yes.

Twilight Sparkle: But... But I…

Rarity: Um... You need to keep up with the times there... Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: But... what's the fashion now then?

Rarity: Oh, well now everyone's wearing... bird nest hats now.


Luna: It's gonna be okay. We just need to get some more intel on the situation. As long as we don't do anything drastic, we'll be fine.

Celestia: Uh huh. That's great. Listen. I… There is something I should tell you.

Luna: What?

Celestia: I have just declared war on the Changeling and Crystal empires.


[Credits]


Episode 12

     
[FADE IN: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY SPIKE and TWILIGHT are inside Twilight's house.]

Spike: But what's the point of wearing it!?

Twilight Sparkle: Spike, It's cold outside.

Spike: But you're covered in hair. And, doesn't the scarf only keep your neck warm? What about the rest of your body?

Twilight Sparkle: I, you'd be surprised at how much a scarf keeps you warm.

[Twilight starts to put on her saddle.]

Spike: [Sigh] Oh my god, I... What is... What are you putting on now?

Twilight Sparkle: It's called a saddle.

Spike: What's a saddle for?

Twilight Sparkle: It's... Well it's... Stylish.

Spike: Ha. Since when have you cared about style?

Twilight Sparkle: Well it... I... I mean, you know.

Spike: Is it "surprisingly warm" like the scarf.

Twilight Sparkle: I. Well... Um.

Spike: You know what it look like me? It looks like a seat.

Twilight Sparkle: I... I guess it kinda looks like that.

Spike: Ya. You know that's exactly what it looks like. It looks like a seat... I'm gonna sit on it.

Twilight Sparkle: What, nooooo. No don't. You de... You will not... You will do no such thing.

Spike: But look at it, it's like it was made for me..

Twilight Sparkle: Well you're not sitting on it! Stop. My God...

[Twilight puts on the scarf.]

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, I think I'm ready.

Spike: Aw, little Twi. Look at you, you're all dressed up for your winter walk.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh shut up, Spike.

Spike: Let's see what we got here, you got your little boots, and your scarf, and your saddle. Oh ya. Ya, you're totally ready for the freezing cold snow.

Twilight Sparkle: Shut up Spike!


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Twilight trots over to the town square where all the other ponies are.]

Ponies: [Mumbling]

Mayor Mare: Now I never want to see this happen again. Alright? No more, grand expensive sounding musical numbers. Got it?

Ponies: [Okay]

Mayor Mare: Good. Now go away.

[All the ponies start walking away.]

Twilight Sparkle: Huh. Wonder what that was all about...


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY The Bird stands, looking at the sky.]

Twilight Sparkle: Hey, The Bird.

The Bird: Hello.

Twilight Sparkle: Ya... Um... Whatcha wearing there?

The Bird: Oh this? This my new winter coat. It's the latest trend.

Twilight Sparkle: What, that?

The Bird: Yes.

Twilight Sparkle: Does it keep you warm?

The Bird: Well, kinda... It's better than a scarf at least. Those are just stupid.

The WC Guys: [Wombo Combo]

Twilight Sparkle: What was that?

The Bird: I don't know. But look. It comes with a little armband.

Twilight Sparkle: I... I see.

The Bird: And it's blue.

Twilight Sparkle: I. That's terrific.

[Pause.]

The Bird: You're right, I should have gotten the bird themed one.

Twilight Sparkle: Yah... Um... Yah uh, Hey.

The Bird: Hello.

Twilight Sparkle: The Bird. Um, actually. You know, I'm curious. Why are you called The Bird?

The Bird: So that there's no confusion.

Twilight Sparkle: I... [Blows in defeat] Kay...


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Applejack and Twilight are talking.]

Twilight Sparkle: Hey, Applejack.

Applejack: Oh hey Nilly.

Twilight Sparkle: Hey, you're wearing a vest too?

Applejack: Oh every pony's wearing one. See look.

[She refers to a bunch of ponies plowing the field.]

Twilight Sparkle: Why? It's not even a winter coat.

Applejack: Well it's kinda more of a style thing, You know?

Twilight Sparkle: I see.

Applejack: So what does your's look like?

Twilight Sparkle: My what?

Applejack: Your vest.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, um... I don't have one.

Applejack: You don't have a vest!?

Twilight Sparkle: No.

Applejack: Why not!?

Twilight Sparkle: Well because... I... I don't.

Applejack: But they're great. Look, you get a little armband.

Twilight Sparkle: Ya. I see that.

Applejack: And you can get them in a bunch of different colors.

Twilight Sparkle: That's great.

Applejack: It's customizable.

Twilight Sparkle: Ya. I get it.

Applejack: I mean it's not like you'd be wearing a saddle. That would be ridiculous in this weather.

The WC Guys: [Wombo Combo]

[Twilight and Applejack just stand there.]

Twilight Sparkle: What is that?

Applejack: What is what?

Twilight Sparkle: Wha, shhhh! Listen. Listen.

[Pause.]

Applejack: I don't hear anything.

Twilight Sparkle: It was like... shouting...

Applejack: Are you okay, Nilly?

Twilight Sparkle: I'm fine... I [Sigh] I'm just gonna keep going. I'll see you later, Applejack.

Applejack: Okay, see ya.


[CUT TO: EXT. FROZEN LAKE - DAY Pinkie is skiing on a frozen lake.]

Pinkie Pie: Helloooooo, Twilight!

Twilight Sparkle: Hey Pinkie.

Pinkie Pie: Watcha doing?

Twilight Sparkle: Just going on a winter walk.

Pinkie Pie: Oh cool. Well enjoy it while you can.

Twilight Sparkle: What? What is that supposed to mean?

Pinkie Pie: Oh, well the mayor's gonna have a fit and order everyone to clean up the snow.

Twilight Sparkle: Really? How do you know.

Pinkie Pie: Uh... Damn it, I got to stop doing that.

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Pinkie Pie: Say... You like my new vest.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes, Pinkie. I like your new vest.

Pinkie Pie: Isn't it great? It's got a little.

Twilight Sparkle: Armband, yah I know.

Pinkie Pie: And it comes in different colors.

Twilight Sparkle: Colors! Ya. Ya I get it!

Pinkie Pie: It's customizable.

Twilight Sparkle: Customizable. Ya, I get it. Where did you guys get those anyway?

Pinkie Pie: Ha! You wouldn't believe it if I told you. Get this, it's from...


[CUT TO: EXT. RARITY'S HOUSE - DAY Rarity is making bird nest hats.]

Twilight Sparkle: Rarity?

Rarity: Um Hello Twilight. Uh... Do you want to buy a Vest?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh, no thanks. I just came to congratulate you on your outfit. I mean. I've seen ponies all over wearing them.

Rarity: Yes. Um... Yes. It has a little armband on it... and it's customizable.

Twilight Sparkle: So i've heard. But it's the winter though. Shouldn't you be selling warmer clothing?

Rarity: Well we're covered in hair Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: Well... Ya... But...

Rarity: And at least it's not as useless as a scarf or winter saddle.

The WC Guys: [Wombo Combo]

[The character look confused for a moment.]

Twilight Sparkle: Seriously... What is that? What's that sound?

Rarity: I don't hear anything.

Spike: Maybe the universe just hates you.

Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm... So what are, what are you making now?

Rarity: Oh, It's um... the next big thing. I call it... Bird nest hats.

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: Ya, um... I'll leave you to it then.


[CUT TO: EXT. COUNTRYSIDE - DAY Fluttershy is waking up all the animals for spring.]

Twilight Sparkle: Uh, Fluttershy?

Fluttershy: [Scream]

Twilight Sparkle: Whoa, ha. What are you doing?

Fluttershy: Oh. I'm trying to get over my fear of rabbits.

Twilight Sparkle: By sticking your head in the burrows?

Fluttershy: Ya. I want to be brave enough to face the rabbits in their own turf. When I bought this vest today. You know, I got one with a rabbit on it. You see? See on the armband?

Twilight Sparkle: Ya, I see that.

Fluttershy: It's customizable.

Twilight Sparkle: Yes... God! I get that it's customizable!

[Pause.]

Fluttershy: Ya, well anyway. I looked at it, and I thought. You know, I'm better than this! I can totally take on the rabbits! I just got to be brave enough. You know?

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy. You know, you don't need to do this. Okay? If you asked me, I'd say you're already brave.

Fluttershy: What?

Twilight Sparkle: Look at what you've done. You've faced off against Nightmare Moon. You helped us defeat the biological weapon. You've encountered Manticores, and Griffons, and... and hey! You looked a fully grown dragon in the eye!

Fluttershy: Ya, but I was trying to fly away.

Twilight Sparkle: But you didn't! You didn't fly away. The dragon did.

[Pause.]

Fluttershy: Ya... I guess it did didn't it...

Twilight Sparkle: Yah! Rabbits are nothing compared to what you've been through.

Fluttershy: Gee... Thanks man.

Twilight Sparkle: No problem. And, and Fluttershy, don't... You shouldn't go looking in the burrows. That's... You don't know what's living in these.

[Snakes slither out of the hole.]

Twilight Sparkle: Ahhh! Snakes! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my God! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my God!

Fluttershy: Aw. Man. That's just. Oh god... That's... Aw. That's just messed up right there.

Twilight Sparkle: Ow! Ahhhhhhhh! Why!? Why!? Ahhhhhhhhh!

[Twilight is backing into all kinds of stuff like caves and a bee hive. The Beehive lands on her head.]

Spike: Wow.

Twilight Sparkle: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Spike: That's kinda insane.

Fluttershy: Oh man! I... Wow... Well man, that never happens.


[CUT TO: EXT. CASTLE - DAY Luna and Celestia are standing in front of the window.]

Celestia: [Grumbling] Darn it.

Luna: What?

Celestia: I don't get it! Where is he!?

Luna: Sombra?

Celestia: Yes! I have informants scouring all over the southern territories! But I can't find him!

Luna: Well why are you just looking in the south? Why not the north or west?

Celestia: Because the last time I killed him was in Hayseed Swamps, which is in the south!

Luna: Could he have moved?

Celestia: Impossible. We would know about it. He's like a giant black cloud of smoke. You couldn't miss him.

Luna: What kind of smoke? Like dragon's smoke?

Celestia: Ya, like Dragon's smoke...

[Pause. Flashback.]

Pinkie Pie: Why is there still smoke coming from the cave?

Fluttershy: You were very brave up there Fluttershy, you deserve a cupcake or something.

[Celestia and Luna stand in front of the window.]

Celestia: Oh... Shoot...

[A guard burst in through the door.]

Messenger: Princess Celestia! Urgent news! We've found Sombra. He's in the north. He's taken over the Crystal imperial government.

Celestia: [Gag] Darn it.


[CUT TO: EXT. THE LIBRARY - DAY Twilight is being soaked in tomato juice.]

Twilight Sparkle: Well there's always tomorrow for my winter walk.

Spike: Uh... I think the snow will be gone by then.

Twilight Sparkle: What? No it won't.

Spike: Uh. Ya it will. The Mayor said so.


[CUT TO: EXT. TOWN HALL - DAY All the ponies are gathered and Mayor Mare stands before them.]

Mayor Mare: Right! I have had it! I have been running around, all day, putting out songs. It's this weather. Whenever it snows, you all feel inclined to sing. Well no more! All of you, clear up the snow right now.

Ponies: [Mumble of Disappointment] Aw...

Mayor Mare: No! No! You had your chance. And you blew it. Start clearing up winter. I'm not... I will not tolerate this!


[CUT TO: EXT. THE LIBRARY - DAY Twilight is being bathed in Tomato juice.]

Twilight Sparkle: Aw man...

Spike: Aw, don't feel bad Twi. I know what will cheer you up.

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Spike: Those vests are now 50% off.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh my god, stop! There's no way i'm buying a vest.

Spike: Well hear me out on this Twi. Maybe Rarity will stop asking if you want to buy a dress, if you actually buy one.

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: [Sigh] I... Hmmm. Okay, you might have something there.


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Twilight and Rarity are talking.]

Twilight Sparkle: Alright, Rarity. I'll buy a vest.

Rarity: Oh... Ya, um... You know, I'm... I'm not sure if that's something that you want there... um Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: What? Why not?

Rarity: Well um, you see. No pony wears the vests anymore. Because um... That was yesterday's fashion.

Twilight Sparkle: Yesterday's fashion?

Rarity: Yes.

Twilight Sparkle: But... But I...

Rarity: Um... You need to keep up with the times there... Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: But... what's the fashion now then?

Rarity: Oh, well now everyone's wearing... bird nest hats now.

[Twilight give her a look.]


[CUT TO: EXT. CASTLE - DAY Celestia and Luna stand in front of the window.]

Luna: It's gonna be okay. We just need to get some more intel on the situation. As long as we don't do anything drastic, we'll be fine.

Celestia: Uh huh. That's great. Listen. I... There is something I should tell you.

Luna: What?

Celestia: I have just declared war on the Changeling and Crystal empires.Luna looks stunned as the music quiets down.

[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 13

     
[FADE IN: EXT. FARM - DAY Applejack and The Bird are playing horseshoes. The Bird Tosses her horse shoe and it is way off.]

The Bird: Oh dear.

Applejack: Ha. You call that a throw?

The Bird: It doesn't matter. I'm still winning.

[Applejack throws her last horse shoe and it wins her the game.]

Applejack: Bam. In your face The Bird! Now that's how we do it here on the farm!

The Bird: Whatever. I guess we all have our talents. Yours is horseshoes, and mine is... going really fast.

Applejack: Ha. I beg to differ.

The Bird: Oh what? You think you're faster than me?

Applejack: Ha! I know i'm faster than you... Nibblet.

The Bird: Oh really? Well it just so happens that tomorrow is the annual Running of the Leaves. I challenge you to a race in it.

Applejack: Ha! The Bird, challenging me to a race? Your on.

[Both spit into their hooves and bro hoof.]


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE - DAY Celestia sits on her throne. ABERFORTH enters.]

Aberforth: Princess Celestia! Urgent news from ponyville? There's been a theft.

Celestia: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Which one's Ponyville again?

Aberforth: I... Are you serious?

Celestia: Ya, I'm serious.

Aberforth: Uh...

Celestia: Oh, what? You think I know the names of every single town in the empire? That's like, thousands of towns.

Aberforth: Well... It's right out... Like... You can see it. Like, if you look outside the window you can see ponyville.

Celestia: Oh... Ponyville. Yes! Ah! Okay i'm on board now. What news do you bring?

Aberforth: One of our observation balloons was stolen.

[Pause.]

Celestia: Okay... Great... Why are you telling me this?

Aberforth: Because... It's a government owned thing?

Celestia: Yah. Local government. Jeez... That's not really that important.

The Fourth Steven: Ya Aberforth.

Aberforth: Shut up The Fourth Steven!

Celestia: Whoa guys! Guys, chill. Chill. It's cool. Aberforth, just... good job, but keep... Keep, more important next time.

Aberforth: Yes princess.

[Aberforth leaves.]

Celestia: Ah... These newbies.


[CUT TO: EXT. STARTING LINE - DAY PINKIE is in a balloon.]

Pinkie Pie: Hey look everybody! Look what I just stole from the feds!

Other Ponies: Oh dude sweet! Are you serious? It's soooo neat!

[Ponies are stretching at the racetrack.]

The Bird: Oh look. It's Apple Snack.

Applejack: Wow... Did you come up with that yourself...

The Bird: Yes.

Applejack: Well don't quit your day job.

The Bird: Do you know how fast I can fly? It's pretty fast.

Applejack: Oh you won't be flying. This is a running race.

The Bird: What?

[Applejack smiles.]

Applejack: There. Dressed up just like a turkey.

The Bird: What do you mean dressed up like a turkey?


[CUT TO: EXT. PINKIE'S BALLOON - DAY Pinkie is in her air balloon.]

Spike: Hey Pinkie.

Pinkie Pie: Hey Spike.

Spike: Mind if I join you?

Pinkie Pie: Uh, sure.

Spike: Thanks.

Pinkie Pie: Wow. This scene wasn't funny at all.


[CUT TO: EXT. RACE TRACK - DAY Applejack and The Bird are calling each other names.]

Applejack: Skittles.

The Bird: Fruit Snack.

Applejack: Fruit tart.

The Bird: Crab Apple.

Applejack: Bird Brian.

[Twilight walks up next to them.]

Twilight Sparkle: Hey guys. What's up guys?

Applejack: Twilight? What are you doing here?

Twilight Sparkle: I'm racing.

Applejack: Ha. You? Race?

The Bird: Ha ha. Get real Twilight. There's no way you could outrun us.

Twilight Sparkle: Well i'm not really racing competitively.

Applejack: Not racing competitively, huh? What's with the sticker on your butt then?

The Bird: Ha ha ha!

[The Bird falls over.]

The Bird: Ow!

Twilight Sparkle: Well it's mandatory for the participants.

Applejack: No it isn't.

The Bird: Ya. You look kinda stupid with it on.

Twilight Sparkle: But, you're both wearing ones too.

The Bird: No i'm not.

Applejack: Ya, i'm not wearing a sticker there, Nibblet.

Twilight Sparkle: Are you guys joking?

Applejack and The Bird: No.

Twilight Sparkle: What? They're right there. Can't you feel them?

Applejack: Nilly, I think I would be able to feel a sticker if it was on me.

The Bird: Ya. Ha.

Twilight Sparkle: But they're; why do I do this to myself? [Sigh] OKay, you know what? I don't care. Whatever. I'm just gonna have a nice normal, relaxing run. And not worry about crazy ponies.

Pinkie Pie: Alrighty racers! Get ready.

Spike: Get set!

[They hit a bell which starts the race.]

Pinkie Pie: And they're off!


[CUT TO: EXT. RACE TRACK - DAY Pinkie and Spike are hovering in a balloon.]

Pinkie Pie: Well it is a beautiful day for racing. And right up in front we have Applejack and The Bird.

Spike: So why do the leaves fall down when you run past them?

Pinkie Pie: Well because you... Uh they... Um, magic.

Spike: Uh huh... And why do they have stickers on their butts?

Pinkie Pie: Oh well that's so you can tell who the racers are.

Spike: How'd they even get the stickers on their butts in the first place?

Pinkie Pie: Um... Duck tape? I don't know.

Spike: Won't that hurt when they take them off? I mean, they're covered in hair.

Pinkie Pie: I, you know, let's not think about it.

Spike: Hey, what happened to the stickers on their butts?

Pinkie Pie: Oh... Ya. That's kinda weird. Maybe they flew off.

Spike: What, both of them?

Pinkie Pie: Ya. Because they're going so fast.

Spike: Whoa wait! They're back!

Pinkie Pie: Oh dear...

Spike: Okay, that's just bizarre.

Pinkie Pie: [Whispering] Damn those animators!

Spike: How's that even possible?

Pinkie Pie: Maybe... They pulled some freak polar express ticket or something.

[Applejack runs past The Bird. She looks back.]

Applejack: That sticker makes you look fat.

The Bird: Oh no. There really is a sticker.

[Applejack trips over a rock and falls over. The other ponies rush past her. The leaves fall all over her. She gets up. Pause.]

Applejack: That darn nibblet!


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE - DAY Celestia is talking to one of her guards.]

The Fourth Steven: One of your arch nemeses is Kevin Bacon?

Celestia: Yes! I despise Kevin Bacon!

The Fourth Steven: But why? He's like the nicest guy, and he gives money to the orphans.

Celestia: He mocks me with is perfection!


[CUT TO: EXT. RACE TRACK - DAY The Bird is running in the lead. She looks behind her and sees nothing. She turns back around.]

Pinkie Pie: Hey, I know how to explain this. Magic!

Spike: That's a terrible explanation.

Pinkie Pie: No it isn't.

Spike: Uh, yah it is. Magic doesn't explain anything Pinkie. You can't find patterns in magic.

[Applejack and The Bird are still racing.]

The Bird: Hey. How'd you get the sticker off your butt!?

Applejack: There never was a sticker!

[The Bird trips over a stump. She falls into the dirt. Ponies rush past her. There is a pause for a moment. The Bird gets up.]

The Bird: [Spits out leaves] It's back!


[CUT TO: EXT. WATERFALL - DAY The racers are going past the waterfall.]

Pinkie Pie: And we're back. Applejack and The Bird are still neck and neck.

Spike: Back? Back from what? We're still here?

Pinkie Pie: Hey... You... Let's talk about something else? You know? Um.... Hey what's with Rarity and those noodles huh? Weird right?

Spike: It's pronounced Spaghetti Noodles. And no, not really. It's a common dish in the badlands. I use to live there you know.

Pinkie Pie: Oh. That's... cool. I didn't know that.

[The Bird and Applejack are running.]

The Bird: You run like a girl!

[Applejack looks shocked. The Bird pulls ahead.]

The Bird: Ha... Run like a girl.

[Applejack rushes past her.]

Applejack: Didn't see me coming!

The WC Guys: [Wombo Combo]

[Applejack is running throughout the woods. She is far in the lead. She looks behind her and sees The Bird catching up. She sees a tree full of bees. She kicks it and runs off. The beehive lands on The Bird.]

The Bird: [Gasp] AHHHHHHHHHHH!

[The Bird runs past Applejack. The Bird runs until she sees a bush. She leaps into the bush and hides. The bees fly over and go the wrong way. The bird lifts her head above the bushes and looks around. She turns the sign next to her around so that it goes the wrong way. She ducks down. Applejack sees the sign and goes the wrong way. The Bird comes out of her bush. She leans on the sign and laughs. The other ponies pass her.]

The Bird: [Laughing] Gasp.

[Twilight walks over.]

Twilight Sparkle: Wow. It's such a nice day.

[The Bird fixes the sign.]

Twilight Sparkle: The Bird? What are you doing here?

The Bird: Oh i'm just chill-in, you know. You dig? Dog?

[The Bird falls asleep.]

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, noooo. The Bird, no... never do that again. Wait, did you just fall asleep?

The Bird: [Sleeping noises then she wakes up.] Got to go.

[The Bird rushes off.]


[FADE TO: EXT. CLIFF - DAY Applejack races to the top of the cliff and stops. She looks down.]

Pinkie Pie: Applejack? What are you doing up here?

Spike: And what's the freaky deal with the sticker on your butt?

Applejack: A sticker?

[Applejack looks down.]

Applejack: Why that little! Hey guys, could I get a ride down?


[FADE TO: EXT. RACE TRACK - DAY The Balloon moves in and Applejack gets back into the race.]

The Bird: No way. How'd that balloon even go that fast?

Applejack: Magic.

Spike: [In the Background] Lame!

[Applejack pulls ahead and runs through the forest.]

The Bird: It's time to match her game... With... More game!

[The Bird zooms past Applejack. She spins out of control. Applejack becomes a tornado and hits her. They both hit the cliff. The get up slowly and turn to face each other. The cliff splits and they start sliding down it.]

The Bird and Applejack: AHHHHHHHH!

[The slow down and stop safely. The other ponies pass them again.]

Twilight Sparkle: Oh hey! I'm glad I found you guys. I thought I was lost, but I guess i'm not... Kay bye.

The Bird: This is insane! Twilight's beating us!

Applejack: Ya.

The Bird: Well, she won't beat me.

[The Bird rushes past Applejack. Applejack looks mad and then pursues.]


[CUT TO: EXT. FINISH LINE - DAY Pinkie is commentating.]

Pinkie Pie: Well maybe it's some sort of an illusion! You know, this one time I thought these trees were llamas, but instead they were just high powered attorneys.

Spike: Wow. I... I don't know what to say to that.

[Both races are running. They both slam into each other.]

Applejack: Stop it Bird!

The Bird: It's pronounced The Bird.

Applejack: I don't care how it's pronounced fruit tart.

The Bird: Well you're just a losing Lucy.

Applejack: What does that even mean?

The Bird: I'll never tell.

Applejack: Get back here!

[Applejack tugs and The Bird's tale. The Bird tugs on Applejacks tale.]

Applejack: Ha.

[Applejack tugs on The Birds rope. The rope unravels.]

The Bird: Okay... The bets off!

[The Bird begins to fly away.]

Applejack: Oh no you don't!

[Applejack leaps into the air and tackles The Bird. The begin to fight.]

The Bird: Ow. Stop it. Ow.

Applejack: OW! Nibblet! Freakin Nibblet!

Pinkie Pie: It's Applejack. It's the Bird. It's Applejack. It's the Bird. Wait a minute! Oh my God! It's Kevin Bacon! Kevin Bacon just one the race!

Crowd of Ponies: Improv. I love you Kevin bacon!

Pinkie Pie: Wow. Kevin Bacon? Isn't he the greatest, folks? He's so handsome and talented. And I hear he gives money to the orphans. Oh wait. Wait. What is this? Would you look at that! He's giving his first place metal to another racer! Oh my God! Isn't he just the nicest guy! I... I tell you.

[Twilight walks over to Applejack and The Bird.]

Twilight Sparkle: Hi guys. Um... How'd it feel to be beaten by Kevin Bacon?

[Pause.]

Applejack: Uh... Well quite honestly I didn't expect it. I didn't even know Kevin Bacon was in the race.

The Bird: I think Kevin Bacon deserved to win the race. Because... I like Kevin Bacon.

[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 14

     
[FADE IN: EXT. THE BOUTIQUE - DAY Rarity is making a dress.]

Rarity: Hey. Um, Opal? What do you think of the color?

Opal: No.

Rarity: Oh Opal, you're a silly kitty.

Opal: No.

Rarity: Yes you are.

Opal: No.

Rarity: Yes you are a silly kitty. No. No you are so silly. You are so silly.

Opal: No!

Rarity: That... Um.

[Twilight walks in.]

Twilight Sparkle: Hey Rarity.

Rarity: Oh hey Twilight. Um, do you want to buy a dress?

Twilight Sparkle: Yes.

[Pause.]

Rarity: What?


[CUT TO: INT. THE BOUTIQUE - DAY Rarity and Twilight stand inside the Boutique.]

Twilight Sparkle: I would like a dress for the Grand Galloping Gala.

Rarity: Oh, yes. Um... That's coming up isn't it.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh kinda... still a few more months.

Rarity: Well, I shall make you the best dress ever. You will look absolutely gorgeous.

Twilight Sparkle: Thanks.

Rarity: Only the best for my friends. I'll have it done by um... Monday I think.

Twilight Sparkle: Wow, really? Thanks!

[Rarity get's to work on the dress.]

Twilight Sparkle: So uh... Your fashion thing's next week right?

Rarity: Yes. Um, yah. Yah it is.

Twilight Sparkle: Cool. Cool... Um, yah. I hope it goes well.

Rarity: Um thank you, Twilight. Um. I'm really excited for it.

Twilight Sparkle: Awesome... Hey, listen I have to go run some errands right now, but you know, i'll make sure to make it to the fashion show next week.

Rarity: Okay cool. Um... I'll see you later then.

Twilight Sparkle: See ya.

[Twilight leaves. Rarity continues to work. The doorbell rings.]

Stranger: Excuse me. Are you Ms. Rarity?

Rarity: Um... Yes?

Stranger: Good. I work for General Belle, supreme commander of the Imperial Magic legion. I have something to discuss with you.


[CUT TO: EXT. RESTAURANT - DAY Spike and Twilight sit at a table.]

Spike: You know? You would literally feel the cruel, icy chill of death... leave when Celestia comes in the room.

Twilight Sparkle: Alright! I get! You don't like Celestia that much! You don't have to keep telling me.

[Pause.]

Spike: So Twi...

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Spike: I have a question for you.

Twilight Sparkle: Another one? About what?

Spike: Cutie Marks.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh god... What about them.

Spike: You know how everyone's name is kinda like their cutie mark?

Twilight Sparkle: No.

Spike: Oh come on. Twilight Sparkle. You have a sparkle on your butt.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh... yah.

Spike: Applejack, has apples as her cutie mark.

Twilight Sparkle: And Pinkie Pie has balloons.

Spike: There's a few exceptions of course. But generally everyone's cutie mark has something to do with their name.

Twilight Sparkle: Um yah, I guess.

Spike: So my question is, can you rig the system?

Twilight Sparkle: Rig the sys... What on earth are you talking about?

Spike: Let's say you have a kid. And you name her... Ruler... of Equestria. She would get her cutie mark based on her name. Which would be like, Equestria in her hoof or something. And then that would be her talent. She would rule Equestria.

Twilight Sparkle: That's... No.

Spike: You could actually solve a lot of the world's problems that way. Name a kid, "Inventor of the cure for pony pox" And when he grows up, he could... would cure pony pox.

Twilight Sparkle: That's... No... [Mumbling]

Spike: Did I just blow your mind?

Twilight Sparkle: No, you didn't blow my mind.

Spike: I just cured pony pox, and your mind isn't blown?

Twilight Sparkle: You didn't cure pony pox!

Spike: Ha. I totally did.

Twilight Sparkle: No you didn't!

Spike: It's taken thousands of years for you ponies to not figure out how to cure it, and it took me like what, 2 minutes?

Twilight Sparkle: You didn't... I... Did you pick up my dress today, from Rarity?

Spike: Aw... Is the conversation too humiliating for you Twi?

Twilight Sparkle: Did you or didn't you?

Spike: Yah I did. Oh, actually speaking of which, Rarity said that the Fashion show was cancelled.

Twilight Sparkle: Wait what? Why?

Spike: No idea.

Twilight Sparkle: Is everything okay?

Spike: I don't know. I didn't ask.

Twilight Sparkle: Why didn't you tell me this before?

Spike: Um... I got distracted, by like... curing pony pox.

Twilight Sparkle: You didn't freaking cure pony pox!


[CUT TO: INT. THE BOUTIQUE - DAY Rarity stand in front of a mirror. She is talking to herself.]

Rarity: [Sniff] Oh Rarity. I look at you and um... I wonder... Who am I?

Mirror Rarity: Um... Well, Rarity... Um... you're a traitor.

Rarity: No i'm not!

Mirror Rarity: Um... Yah you are. And now you're going to do it again. Um... What would your father say?

Rarity: My father isn't here right now.

Mirror Rarity: Or is he?

Rarity: Wait what? He's here!?

Mirror Rarity: Um no... I'm just messing with you.

Rarity: Oh...

Mirror Rarity: I bet he would say... Um, Rarity! Um... Rarity, Uh.. you're not a good person, there.

Rarity: No well... Well he'd probably say something worse than that.

Mirror Rarity: Yeah well, i'm kinda limited on the vocabulary that you've learned here. And I don't really have much to work with.

[The mane 6 stand outside Rarity's door. Pinkie knocks on the door.]

Pinkie Pie: Hey Rarity? You okay in there? You haven't come out for days.

Rarity: Shut up, Mirror Rarity.

Mirror Rarity: No, um you shut up!

Rarity: No. You shut up!

Mirror Rarity: Um... I can't until you do. Because um... you're the one talking for me.

Rarity: Curses!

Twilight Sparkle: Rarity. You... Are you talking to a mirror?

Rarity: No.

Mirror Rarity: Yes she is.

Rarity: Shut up Rarity.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay. You are officially losing it. Seriously what's wrong?

Fluttershy: Twilight?

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Fluttershy: Is the mirror possessed?

Twilight Sparkle: What, no!

Rarity: I don't want to talk about it.

Twilight Sparkle: Rarity. We're your friends.

Rarity: Just leave me alone!

Pinkie Pie: Rarity, come on. You've been locked in your room for days.

Rarity: I can handle this on my own. And besides, you wouldn't understand!

Twilight Sparkle: It isn't healthy to keep stuff bottled up Rarity. Whatever it is, you can tell us!

Rarity: No! I can't!

Twilight Sparkle: Rarity! You tell us right now, or I will bust down this door!

Rarity: Fine! You really want to know!?

Twilight Sparkle: Yes!

Rarity: [Growl] Fine! I'm a changeling!

[Rarity transforms into her true self. Rarity stands in front of the door as a changeling for a few seconds. The mane 6 just stand there in shock. Then Rarity changes back, throws herself onto her bed and bursts into tears.]

Rarity: [Sobs]

The Bird: She's changing? Why?

Pinkie Pie: Yah Rarity, your dress looks great! You don't need to change.

Twilight Sparkle: Guys. That's not what she said.

Rarity: I meant me!

The Bird: But we're not even wearing anything.

Pinkie Pie: You know, a dress isn't really something you should fuss about Rarity.

Twilight Sparkle: Guys! She's not talking about a dress!

Applejack: You've been a changeling this whole time!?

Rarity: Yes.

Pinkie Pie: Oh...

Twilight Sparkle: Okay... Why didn't you tell us?

Rarity: Because that's not my life anymore! I came to ponyville to get away from that, and to be myself.

Applejack: Be yourself! By pretending to be a unicorn!?

Fluttershy: Oh god. If Rarity's a changeling, does that mean I'm a changeling!?

Twilight Sparkle: No, what? Fluttershy, no. That doesn't mean you're a changeling!

The Bird: Wait, Fluttershy's changing?

Twilight Sparkle: No! Changeling! She's a changeling!

Pinkie Pie: I don't read the script for one day, and this happens.

The Bird: Oh. I get it now. Fluttershy's a changeling.

Fluttershy: I knew it!

Twilight Sparkle: No she's not! The Bird! Rarity is the changeling!

The Bird: Wait, what?

Pinkie Pie: Okay, The Bird. It's really simple.

Fluttershy: I been living a lie. What am I!? Am I a monster!?

Rarity: I'm not a monster!

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, everyone shut up! Let's just hear her out.

Applejack: [Cruel laugh] Hear her out!? I don't think so. How can we trust what she has to say?

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, come on. Let's just give her a chance. Okay? Rarity, please explain this... Please.

Rarity: Okay.

[A montage of images begins to play.]

Rarity: I was born in a small village, in the Northern Badlands of the Changeling empire. Life was hard, and we didn't have a lot of money. From the beginning I knew that um, I was not like the other changelings. I always liked making stuff, and being creative. But my father didn't approve of that. He said... Um... changelings um.. Changelings don't do that... Eat your spaghetti noodles! But the older I got, the more I hated it there, and the more I wanted to express myself.So one night, I decided to run away. I managed to get outside the border, and was found by Equestrian soldiers. They took me in and taught me Equestrian. They saw some use for me, and for 2 years I served as an informant for them. And for my service, they allowed me to live in Ponyville. So I could just be myself.

[Pause.]

The Bird: Okay, i'm back. What'd I miss?

Twilight Sparkle: What do you mean your back!?

The Bird: I just went to go get ice cream. They didn't have any chocolate though.

Twilight Sparkle: Are you kidding me!?

The Bird: I know. Chocolate is my favorite.

Twilight Sparkle: The Bird! I'm not talking about ice cream!

Pinkie Pie: So why is this bothering you now, Rarity?

Rarity: Because I've been asked to work with the military again.

Twilight Sparkle: What!? What for?

Rarity: They need me as an adviser.

Twilight Sparkle: But why now? Are we going to war, or something?

Rarity: I don't know. They didn't give me any details.

Pinkie Pie: Well, did you say no?

Rarity: Yah... But they weren't happy about that, um. I might be under suspicion for treachery.

Applejack: Ha. I would expect so.

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack! What has gotten into you!?

Applejack: Into me!? She's been lying to us! She... She could feeding off of us!

Twilight Sparkle: What!?

Applejack: That's why she's been trying to sell us dresses! She's trying to be nice to us, so that we'd like her, and then she'd feed off of our love!

Twilight Sparkle: Oh, don't be ridicules!

The Bird: I think the dress thing was too annoying for that.

Applejack: Stay out of this, The Bird!

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack, weren't you the one who said to respect all the ponies in ponyville?

Applejack: But she's not a pony! She's a changeling! I mean, we're not exactly on good terms with the Changeling empire right now!

Twilight Sparkle: That has nothing to do with it! It doesn't matter where she's from!

Applejack: It completely matters! We can't trust her!

Twilight Sparkle: What is your deal Applejack?

Applejack: I hate being lied to Twilight! And if her story is true, then she abandoned her family! I mean, that is despicable!

Twilight Sparkle: Well maybe you don't know the whole story!

Applejack: I've heard enough! This! I'm out of here.

Twilight Sparkle: Hey Applejack! Wait! I'm not finished with you!

Pinkie Pie: Oh jeez. Um... [Sigh] Hey... Rarity?

Rarity: [Sniff] Ya...

Pinkie Pie: I believe you.

Rarity: Thanks.

Pinkie Pie: Hey, I'm going to get you some ice cream for you, okay? How does that sound?

Rarity: [Sniff] Okay.

The Bird: Remember, they don't have any chocolate.

Pinkie Pie: Yah I got it, the bird. Just take it easy in there, okay? I'll be back soon.

Rarity: Okay...Rarity looks at herself in the mirror. She looks very sad.

[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 15

     
[FADE IN: EXT. TWILIGHT'S LIBRARY - DAY Twilight and Pinkie are talking.]

Pinkie Pie: Just because there are things in this world that you can't explain, doesn't make them any less true.

Twilight Sparkle: What? No. That's stupid. That's a stupid moral.

Pinkie Pie: Okay fine, it is a stupid moral.

[Spike walks in.]

Twilight Sparkle: Ah ha! Caught red handed!

Spike: What?

Twilight Sparkle: So you've been taking all my parchment!

Spike: Uh, yeah... Was I not supposed to?

Twilight Sparkle: God, I thought I was loosing my mind. What are you using the parchment for?

Spike: Uh... my diary.

Twilight Sparkle: Your diary. I didn't know you had a diary?

Spike: Oh yeah. Very personal. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to work.

Pinkie Pie: Hey Spike.

Spike: What?

Pinkie Pie: I'm really sorry...

Spike: About what?

[Pause.]

Spike: Okay then...


[CUT TO: EXT. TWILIGHT'S LIBRARY - DAY Spike is about to send the letter to Celestia. Celestia then lands down right in front of him.]

Spike: Oh god...

[The screen cuts to black.]

Celestia: Whatcha got in your hand there... Little Dragon.


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE - NIGHT CELESTIA is CACKLING in her bed.]

Celestia: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Take it! Take it you little monster! Nah ha ha!

[LUNA bursts in.]

Luna: Can you please stop cackling! God! I'm trying to sleep!

Celestia: But Luna, I must!

Luna: No! You mustn't!

Celestia: As we speak, my arch nemesis suffers!

Luna: Sombra?

Celestia: No, the letter sender one! He is feeling my wrath for single letter he sent me! Ha ha ha.


[CUT TO: EXT. TWILIGHT'S LIBRARY - NIGHT Twilight and Spike are upstairs. Spike is surrounded by letters. Twilight is reading the letters.]

Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe you Spike! She is the princess!

Spike: [Coughing, gagging] Princess, smincess.

Twilight Sparkle: [Reading Letters] I mean... How could you say these things about her!? These are horrible!

Spike: Twi...

Twilight Sparkle: What!?

Spike: Why are you... grey?

Twilight Sparkle: It was a spell that... Don't change the subject! You deserve this! You know that right? You deserve this!

Spike: [Groan]

Twilight Sparkle: I hope you learn your lesson from this Spike. You mess with the sun. You get burned!

Spike: [Sigh] That's... stupid.


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Pinkie and Twilight are talking.]

Twilight Sparkle: What has gotten into our friends lately! Seriously! First Applejack and her crazy accusations, and now Spike has apparently been sending the Princess hate mail!

Pinkie Pie: Yah. I know, I thought that whole Spike being caught thing would happen much later.

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Pinkie Pie: Uh. Never mind.

Twilight Sparkle: No, wait a minute. What do you mean the whole Spike thing would happen later? Did you know about this!?

Pinkie Pie: N-No... I didn't know anything about.

Twilight Sparkle: Then why did you say that?

Pinkie Pie: Oh wow, look at the time. Hey, I got a... See you Twilight! Pinkie runs off. Twilight watches her with great suspicion.


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Pinkie is standing around minding her own business. Twilight watches her through some binoculars.]

Twilight Sparkle: Hmmm.

[Spike walks in.]

Spike: Hey Twi. Whatcha doing Twi.

[Twilight is startled. She SCREAMS.]

Twilight Sparkle: Spike!? Shhh! Go away.

[Twilight continues to watch Pinkie.]

Spike: Are you spying on Pinkie?

Twilight Sparkle: I'm not spying! I'm... doing science.

Spike: You know, it's generally frowned upon to spy on friends.

Twilight Sparkle: Spike! You... We are not on speaking terms right now! I'm still mad at you.

Spike: Oh, okay.

[Pause. Twilight looks through her binoculars.]

Spike: You know, just because you have a pith hat, doesn't mean it science.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh! I'm observing Pinkie. I'm trying to figure out how Pinkie knows so much about stuff.

Spike: What are you talking about?

Twilight Sparkle: Think about it. You know that one time with the spy. She knew exactly where the spy and Applebloom were going to be, with no way of knowing. And that other time when she predicted that winter would be cleaned up?

Spike: Those are just coincidences, Twi.

Twilight Sparkle: And her somehow knowing that you were going to get caught? You know. The apology?

Spike: Uh... Oh yah...

Twilight Sparkle: So i'm going to figure out what's going on.

[Twilight looks at Pinkie through the binoculars.]

Twilight Sparkle: Who is she talking to?

Spike: Hey Twi.

Twilight Sparkle: [Annoyed] What?

Spike: I have a question for you.

Twilight Sparkle: This is not really a great time, Spike.

Spike: Which do you trust more; magic or science?

Twilight Sparkle: Sci... Mag...

Spike: Because they're like two opposite things really, and yet you seem to trust both.

Twilight Sparkle: Well I... Shut up Spike! Go to the library!

Spike: Pft. Whatever.

[Twilight looks through the binoculars again. Pinkie continues to talk. then some text appears in the sky.]

Twilight Sparkle: [Sigh] Whoa wait, what is that!?


[CUT TO: EXT. PATHWAY - DAY Pinkie is speaking with the editor.]

The Editor: But you're a pony. You have tea parties and frolic in the fields.

Pinkie Pie: I do not!

The Editor: Yes you do.

Pinkie Pie: No, I do not.

The Editor: Yes you do... I've seen you do it.

Pinkie Pie: When!?

The Editor: Earlier today.

[Pinkie rolls around in a field.]

Pinkie Pie: Well... Okay, well not that much!


[CUT TO: EXT. PATHWAY - DAY Twilight continues to watch them.]

Twilight Sparkle: What are those words!? Is it some sort of magic? Are those the words of some all powerful mystic being?

Pinkie Pie: [In the background] Hey! I can't help it! It's in my nature. I am a lovable, pink, cartoon horse. And hey! You're an editor and you can't even spell!

The Editor: Hey!

Pinkie Pie: You misspelled deviantart!

The Editor: Oh... Really?

Pinkie Pie: From episodes 1 through 6, you spell it with an 'e' instead of an 'a'!

The Editor: Ah. Well...

Pinkie Pie: Then somehow, miraculously, in episode 7, you spell it correctly.

The Editor: Oh well there you go.

Pinkie Pie: Then you spell it wrong again.

The Editor: Oh dear.

Pinkie Pie: In 9 different ways!

The Editor: What!?

Pinkie Pie: Your idiocy baffles me!

The Editor: I think... I left something in the oven. Got to go.

Pinkie Pie: Yah, you better run!

Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie!

Pinkie Pie: Twilight! Hi. What's whatcha. Hi.

Twilight Sparkle: We need to talk. Come. Let's go back to my library.


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE - NIGHT Celestia and Luna are talking.]

Celestia: Ha ha ha. No Sombra sucks. Seriously he is the worst arch nemesis. And not in a good way.

Luna: What does he do?

Celestia: He monologues so much. And he never learns from his mistakes.

Luna: He seemed scary to me, when we faced him.

Celestia: Yah, but you weren't there the other like 4 times. Seriously, he's not the brightest bulb.

Luna: Who was that one guy, we took down?

Celestia: Which one?

Luna: You know, with the elements of harmony?

Celestia: Oh, you?

Luna: No.[Sigh] You know, the tall goat like one. You have a statue of him in the garden.

Celestia: Discord! Yes! He was quite formidable.

Luna: Yah. Did he ever come back?

Celestia: Nope. Not really sure what happened to him.But there is a legend about him. You know that that statue, down in the royal garden? They say that's really him... encased in stone.

Luna: What!?

Celestia: I know... Creepy right.

Luna: Whoa whoa whoa wait! You mean that's him! In the garden!?

Celestia: So the legend says.

Luna: Wha!? Don't you know? Weren't you there 1000 years ago?

Celestia: Oh yah. Now I remember what happened to him.

[Pause on Luna's face.]

Celestia: That is him.

Luna: What!?


[CUT TO: EXT. TWILIGHT'S LIBRARY - DAY Twilight and Pinkie are talking.]

Twilight Sparkle: So what's the deal!? How do you know what's going to happen all the time? And what was that text thing!?

Pinkie Pie: I can't tell you.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh my god! I have had it! I feel like I can't trust you guys anymore! I want the truth!

Pinkie Pie: You can't handle the truth!

Twilight Sparkle: Pinkie! I have fought against gods! I have dealt with cow curses, plagues, famine, dragons, rabbits, biological weapons, and the insane craziness that is ponyville! I think I can handle whatever it is you have to say! So say it!

Pinkie Pie: [Sigh] We're inside of a TV show.


[CUT TO: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE - NIGHT Celestia and Luna are in front of the window.]

Luna: Funny!? How is leaving the most dangerous creature unguarded, and out in the our garden for all to see, funny!?

Celestia: Just think. If he were to ever come back, he'd be like Oh, Celestia. I'm so powerful now, and I'd be like, Ha! You gnome! You were my lawn ornament!


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY Pinkie and Twilight are talking.]

Pinkie Pie: Life breaths it. Makes it grow. It's energy surrounds us... And binds us.

Twilight Sparkle: Are you mocking me!?

Pinkie Pie: No, Twilight i'm not! There really are people watching us! And there's a script and an editor. That's what the text was. Look. I can prove it, okay? Say something.

Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie: Why can't you just?

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie: Whoa... That's. How are you doing that? Stop it!

Twilight Sparkle: [Heavy breathing]

Pinkie Pie: See? I'm reading the script. I know everything that you're about to say.

Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie: That's. That's not possible.

[Twilight looks terrified.]

Pinkie Pie: All the dialog and actions are all written out already. So I can read it and know exactly what you're going to say.

Twilight Sparkle: But that's... So we're just characters in a story...

Pinkie Pie: Yes.

Twilight Sparkle: I... That's a lot to take in.

Pinkie Pie: I know.

Twilight Sparkle: But what's the point? We have no control over our lives. There's no free will.

Pinkie Pie: But we do have free will. The script is always changing. And the characters control the story, not the storyteller. Look at you for example. You are a 3 dimensional character. You have depth; backstory, likes, dislikes. The story derives from what you would do, otherwise it wouldn't make sense. So in essence, you do control your own actions. You do have free will.

Twilight Sparkle: Wow that's... Really?

Pinkie Pie: Mmhm.

[ Pause.]

Pinkie Pie: Look, only a few have the power to break the fourth. See the script and such. So if I were you, I wouldn't worry about it. You know? Just leave it all to me.

Twilight Sparkle: Yah. It's a lot to wrap my head around...

Pinkie Pie: Yah. Don't worry about it, you'll get used to it. And please don't tell anyone else about this, okay? It's a scary concept, and I think it can be dangerous in in the wrong hands.


[CUT TO: EXT. ROYAL GARDENS - DAY A state of discord sits alone in the garden. A crack appears on it's side...]

[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 16

     
[FADE IN: INT. TWILIGHT'S HOUSE - DAY TWILIGHT looks at THE BIRD. The Bird looks at Twilight.]

Twilight Sparkle: What are you doing in my house?

The Bird: I want to talk about... The Snack.

Twilight Sparkle: What?


[CUT TO: INT. TWILIGHT'S HOUSE - DAY Twilight and The Bird are talking.]

Twilight Sparkle: The Snack?

The Bird: The Snack. It was so good.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh. Well um... What kind of snack was it?

The Bird: No no, not a snack. The Snack!

Pinkie Pie: [Gasp] Are you guys talking about The Snack?

The Bird: Yes! I just saw it!

Pinkie Pie: Oh my god! I love that movie!

The Bird: I know. It's so good.

Twilight Sparkle: Wait, Pinkie. How'd you get inside my house?

Pinkie Pie: Kevin Bacon hands down, is the best director!

The Bird: Wait, Kevin Bacon directed it?

Pinkie Pie: Yah!

The Bird: No way. Really? Well that totally make sense.

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, what is The Snack?

Pinkie Pie: You don't know!?

Twilight Sparkle: No.

Applejack: You don't know about what?

Twilight Sparkle: Applejack? Hi... Wait, where do you guys keep coming from?

Pinkie Pie: We're talking about The Snack!

The Bird: THE SNACK!

Applejack: What is The Snack?

The Bird: The Snack.

Pinkie Pie: Oh my god. You guys need to get out more! It's a new movie that came out.

Applejack: The Snack?

The Bird: THE SNACK!

Twilight Sparkle: Stop saying snack!

The Bird: Whoa Twi... It's The Snack.

Applejack: Well, what's it about?

[Pause.]

Fluttershy: Hey guys. What are you talking about?

Twilight Sparkle: Oh good god.

Pinkie Pie: The Snack!

The Bird: The Snack!

Twilight Sparkle: Seriously? Is there like a leak in here, or something?

Fluttershy: Aw... Yah, I didn't like that movie that much.

Pinkie Pie: How could you not like THE SNACK!?

The Bird: [Whisper] The Snack.

Fluttershy: It was kinda scary.

The Bird: No it wasn't... Oh wait, you mean that one part. Oh yah, that was kinda freaky.

Pinkie Pie: But it was necessary to the plot.

Fluttershy: Yah, well the whole movie didn't really make much sense either.

Pinkie Pie: Didn't make sense!?

The Bird: No Pinkie, hang on. I got this. Fluttershy. Think about what happened in the movie for a second.

Fluttershy: Uh, okay.

The Bird: The Snack.

Fluttershy: [Gasp] Wait what!? Oh my god. But that means... And then he was!

The Bird: Exactly.

Fluttershy: Aw it all makes sense now man!

Twilight Sparkle: Wait, what!?

Fluttershy: I got to watch it again!

Pinkie Pie: I know right!

Fluttershy: The whole movie, I was like...

Pinkie Pie: I know! But then the end.

Fluttershy: That is genius!

Pinkie Pie: I know!!!!!

Twilight Sparkle: What the hell is going on!

The Bird: Mind blown.

Pinkie Pie: Boom!

Applejack: Okay, seriously. What is the deal with this, The Snack?

The Bird: The Snack!

Pinkie Pie: The Snack!

Fluttershy: The Snack!

Twilight Sparkle: Oh for the love of god!

[Rarity shows up.]

Rarity: Hi everyone.

The Bird: Hello.

Twilight Sparkle: Rarity. Hi... I... Uh, how are you doing?

Rarity: Fine. I'm pretty okay... Hey Applejack.

Applejack: Rarity.

[Pause.]

Pinkie Pie: Well this got awkward.

The Bird: Pft. It's only awkward if you make it awkward.

Pinkie Pie: We were talking about The Snack.

Fluttershy and The Bird: [Quiet Voice] The Snack.

Rarity: What is... um... What is The Snack?

Fluttershy: The Snack.

Pinkie Pie: Really? You too? Seriously, you guys need to see it. [Gasp] That's it! We should all go to see The Snack together!

Twilight Sparkle: What?

Pinkie Pie: Ya! I mean you guys need to see it! And, you know, we never hang out anymore. Come on, we'll make a thing out of it. It'll be fun.

The Bird: I'm down.

Fluttershy: Count me in!

Rarity: Um... I'll go.

Twilight Sparkle: Uh... Okay sure.

[Pause.]

Applejack: Okay. I'll go too.

Pinkie Pie: Yes! This is going to be awesome! Where should we go see it?

The Bird: We should go to Cloudsdale. They have this really awesome theater there.

Pinkie Pie: Oooooo! Sounds like a plan!


[CUT TO: INT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE - DAY Celestia and Luna stand in front of the stain glass window.]

Luna: Hey Celestia. Have you seen this new movie called The Snack?

Celestia: Oh Luna, no! Not you too!

Luna: What?

Celestia: I have heard nothing but chatter all day about, "The Snack", from the guards.

Luna: Well it is really good.

Celestia: Of course it is. Everything he does is "Really good".

Luna: Everything "he" does?

Celestia: Kevin Bacon! My arch nemesis. God! Why does he have to be so perfect! Darn it! Something must be done about this!


[CUT TO: EXT. CLOUDSDALE - DAY Fluttershy and The Bird are flying to Cloudsdale.]

The Bird: Ah. There it is. Home.

Fluttershy: Yah. The safest and most boring place imaginable.

[Cloudsdale is revealed. As they are about to land they are greeted by Singing Steve and Dumb-Bell.]

Dumb-Bell: Well well well. The Bird! It's been a while.

The Bird: Hello... You.

Dumb-Bell: You? What do you mean, you? Do you not remember me!?

The Bird: Nnnno. I forgot.

Dumb-Bell: I'm your arch nemesis!

The Bird: No. I already have an arch nemesis. And you're not her.

Dumb-Bell: Are you kidding me!?

The Bird: Isn't your name like, Jeff, or Jenkins or something?

Dumb-Bell: It's Dumb-Bell! My name is Dumb-Bell!

[Pause.]

Dumb-Bell: God! My name sucks!

The Bird: I remember Singing Steve. How are you doing Singing Steve? Do you still sing all of your sentences?

Singing Steve: No.

[Pause.]

Dumb-Bell: So what brings you to Cloudsdale, The Bird?

The Bird: We're gonna see... The Snack.

Dumb-Bell: The Snack?

Fluttershy: The Snack.

Singing Steve: The Snack.

The Bird: The Snack.

Fluttershy: The Snack.

Singing Steve: The Snack.

Dumb-Bell: Okay, everybody calm down. It's okay.

The Bird: [Out of Breath] Okay.

Dumb-Bell: [Out of Breath] It's okay.

Fluttershy and The Bird: [Out of Breath] Okay...

Dumb-Bell: Well I guess your out of luck The Bird. We and our dates just bought the last 6 tickets!

The Bird: Wow... That's conveniently unfortunate.

[Pause.]

The Bird: Could we by any chance, buy the tickets off of you?

Dumb-Bell: What? No! This is the Snack we're talking about! I'm not missing that!

The Bird: Well perhaps we could... race for the them?

[Pause.]

Dumb-Bell: No. Do you think I'm stupid? I'm not going down that clichéd route!

The Bird: But we need them for our friends. They're counting on us.

Dumb-Bell: You know what? We're done here. Let's leave The Bird to her ticketlessness. Ha ha ha ha ha.

[They fly off.]

The Bird: Darn.

Fluttershy: Hey, at least you tried man. Those were some good ideas you had.

The Bird: Thanks. It's the altitude. Helps me think better. My head just kinda clears up up here, you know?

Fluttershy: Awe, no way! Something similar happens to me, man. Wait! What the hell is that!?

[Fluttershy points to an enormous airship flying by the cloud city.]

The Bird: Oh would you look at that. It's an Imperial Airship. An earth pony invention.

Fluttershy: What is it doing here, man?

The Bird: Test flight maybe? They've been building a fleet over the past year.

Fluttershy: Man, you are smart up here.

The Bird: Yes.

Fluttershy: Man... Let's go check it out!

The Bird: What? No. Fluttershy. We can't do that.

Fluttershy: Oh come on, it'll so be cool, man.

The Bird: But it's dangerous.

Fluttershy: That's what living on the edge is about, man. Come on. Don't be a wuss. Are you a wuss, The Bird?

The Bird: Um, this is coming from the one who's afraid of Rabbits.

Fluttershy: The Bird. The Bird... That's all in the past, man. Rabbits can't touch me up here. Come on. Let's go to the airship. Come on, let's go.

The Bird: No. Fluttershy. We're not doing.

Fluttershy: Chicken. Chickeeeeen. Chicken. Chickeeeeeeen.

The Bird: [Sigh] I forgot how annoying you are up here.

[Rarity is flying towards them.]

Rarity: Um, hello there.

Fluttershy: Rarity!? You have wings?

Rarity: Um yes. I just added some pegasus wings to my form and um, spruced them up a bit. The others will be up in a bit.

The Bird: Ah yes... We have some bad news about the movie.


[CUT TO: INT. TWILIGHT'S HOUSE - DAY The Mane 6 are in the house, planning on what to do.]

Rarity: Then um, once we have the key, we've got to retrieve the toaster from the kitchen and, um find a laser pointer.

Twilight Sparkle: What the hell has that got to do with getting us tickets to the movie!?

Rarity: I haven't gotten to that part yet.

Twilight Sparkle: Hey wait a minute. Pinkie. You know how all this is going to end, right? How do we get the tickets?

Pinkie Pie: Wha. I... I don't do that sort of thing anymore, Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: What? Read the script.

Pinkie Pie: Can everyone excuse us for a moment, please?

[All the others ponies leave the room. The door Shuts.]

Pinkie Pie: Twilight! We do not discuss the fourth in front of others. Got it?

Twilight Sparkle: Okay sorry. But can't you get like, the editor to do something , like edit something... or something?

Pinkie Pie: The Editor just does stuff for the ratings, Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: Well, can't you do it?

Pinkie Pie: You want me, to manipulate the fourth, the most powerful force in our world... for some movie tickets!?

Twilight Sparkle: Yah.

Pinkie Pie: No! can’t make plot holes like that, it won't make any sense.

Spike: [Cough] Magic.

[Pause.]

Pinkie Pie: Fine! But I'm never again!

[Shot of A crack appearing on Discord's statue.]


[CUT TO: EXT. CLOUDSDALE - DAY The Main 6 are walking.]

Applejack: Okay, so wait a minute. How did you get the tickets again?

Twilight Sparkle: Magic.

Applejack: Really. You know, for some reason that doesn't seem right. Like you're cheating or something.

Twilight Sparkle: What? No... It's not cheating. We just bent the rules a little that's all.

The Bird: Hey look. It's Dumb-Bell again.

Twilight Sparkle: Dumb-who now?

The Bird: Hello.

Dumb-Bell: Hey, the Bird.

The Bird: What are you guys doing here? Shouldn't you be going to the movie theater.

Dumb-Bell: Wait, you haven't heard!?

The Bird: Heard what?

Dumb-Bell: There was this freak zeppelin accident, where a turret went off and destroyed the theater.

The Bird: What!?

Applejack: Oh my god!

Twilight Sparkle: Wait, are you serious!?

Dumb-Bell: It was crazy. We saw the whole thing.

[Pause.]

Fluttershy: Wow, I... No way.


[CUT TO: INT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE - DAY Celestia and Luna are talking.]

Luna: So you're telling me, that every single zeppelin in our fleet had the exact same weapons malfunction?

Celestia: Yes.

Luna: At the exact same time.

Celestia: I know, what are the odds right?

Luna: And every one of them accidentally hit a movie theater that was showing a movie by Kevin Bacon.

Celestia: Wow, Really? That happened? Oh my, whoa! What rotten luck right?

[Pause.]

Luna: [Sigh] You just hate Kevin Bacon don't you.

Celestia: YES!

[CUT TO: THE END]


Episode 17

     
[FADE IN: INT. RARITY'S BOUTIQUE - DAY Rarity and General Belle are talking. General Belle goes on a rant. During her rant. Rarity makes "UM" sounds during it.]

Rarity: Um. [Beat] I said no, Sweetie Belle.

General Belle: But you're the only one who can host us. We can't go to Apple Bloom's house because her sister might find out that we're generals and our cover would be blown and Apple Bloom's sister would flip out! And we can't go to Scootaloo's house, because she doesn't have a house or a family, because her family was killed in a house fire... And that's also why she doesn't have a house.

Rarity: Stop talking! You know you're really cute! But I don't know what you're saying!

General Belle: Please Rarity. Please can we have the sleepover at your house? No one else can do it.

Rarity: Oh, that's not true... you could sleep over at-- um-- at--

[Fluttershy enters.]

Rarity: Fluttershy's house!

Fluttershy: Wait, what? Have what at Fluttershy's house?


[CUT TO: INT. RARITY'S BOUTIQUE - DAY Rarity and General Belle stare at Fluttershy.]

Rarity: Yes! Um-- Fluttershy, you're good with kids right?

Fluttershy: Um... No.

[Opal comes out of a basket sitting right next to Fluttershy.]

Fluttershy: Oh my god!

Rarity: Oh Opal, there you are. You silly Kitty.

Fluttershy: [Horrified whispering] Why is it sparkling?

General Belle: I covered him with glitter on Tuesday!

Fluttershy: I-- Is that a reference?

General Belle: No.

[Beat.]

Fluttershy: [Exasperated whisper] Why would you do that?

General Belle: Ummmmmmmmmm.

Fluttershy: Oh my god, it's touching me. It's touching me!

Rarity: Aw, that just means she likes you.

Opal: Nooooo!

Rarity: Okay--

Fluttershy: This sucks, man. Why do animals always want to be around me!? It's like i'm a magnet or something.

[Opal keeps snuggling with Fluttershy.]

General Belle: Why are you so afraid? It's only a cute kitty cat.

[Opal scratches off General Belle's hair.]

Rarity: Um. What do you mean you're like a magnet?

Fluttershy: There are animals all over my house man! They keep on breaking in and trying to snuggle with me.

Rarity: Wow.. That... Okay.

Fluttershy: It's even worse at night. I'm just sitting there in the dark all alone and it's terrifying! And I--

[Pause.]

Fluttershy: Hey, you know what, Rarity? I could look after the kids for the sleepover.

Rarity: What?

General Belle: [Gasp] Really?

Fluttershy: Yah man. I wouldn't mind.

General Belle: Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY The 3 crusaders are running through the town. Fluttershy pursues them. The crusaders rush past Twilight. She spins around.]

Twilight Sparkle: [Grunts] Twilight looks over at them, then turns around and sees Fluttershy. She greets her.

Twilight Sparkle: Hello, Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: Hey Twilight. What are you doing?

Twilight Sparkle: I'm off to kill this cockatrice.

Fluttershy: A what?

Twilight Sparkle: It's a snake... Well, it's a snake with a... chicken head for a head. There's apparently one roaming around in the everfree forest.

Fluttershy: There's a snake with a chicken head for head in the everfree forest!?

Twilight Sparkle: Yah. Celestia's wants it gone.

Fluttershy: Are you serious!? I didn't even know that was a thing that existed!

Twilight Sparkle: Uh. Well, they're not super common, but I've heard that they have powerful dark magic, and feed off of fear. So we can't have one wondering so close to a village.

Fluttershy: They sound worse then... Rabbits.

Twilight Sparkle: Yah... Fluttershy... Of all things, why rabbits?

Fluttershy: Lot's of reasons man.

Twilight Sparkle: Name one.

Fluttershy: I hate the sound that they make.

Twilight Sparkle: The sound that they make? What sound?

Fluttershy: It's like a "SQUEE".

Twilight Sparkle: Uh. A "SQUEE"?

Fluttershy: A "SQUEE".

Twilight Sparkle: "SQUEE".

Fluttershy: "SQUEE"!

Twilight Sparkle: I have never heard a rabbit say "SQUEE".

Fluttershy: Well they only do that at night, man!

Twilight Sparkle: Sure they do.


[CUT TO: INT. FLUTTERSHY'S HOUSE - NIGHT Fluttershy sees a squirrel and a bird taking on the ceiling. She throws a bag at them.]

Fluttershy: Die!

General Belle: Hey! That was my bag.

General Bloom: Thank you for your hospitality, element.

Fluttershy: Uh... My name is Fluttershy.

General Bloom: Yes.

[Pause.]

Fluttershy: So you guys wanna-- what do you guys want to do? You wanna to play a game.

General Bloom: Um. We actually made plans already. We're going to go upstairs.

Fluttershy: Oh uh-- Well why can't you do them down here, man?

General Bloom: Uh well-- Because...

General Loo: You couldn't handle the kind of things we do. Our discussion would warp your fragile little mind. Everything you know would become a living nightmare. Your brain would explode from the sheer horror.

General Bloom: That's enough out of you.

[The three crusaders go upstairs.]

General Bloom: [Continued] We're just gonna go upstairs now. No disturbances please.

[Fluttershy sits terrified on the ground. She takes a deep breath.]

Fluttershy: Aw man-- This isn't going as planned.

[Fluttershy sees a rabbit in her house.]

Fluttershy: [Continued] Ahhh! Are you kidding me!


[CUT TO: INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT Establishing shot of the house. As General Belle is talking her neck is stretching really far.]

General Bloom: So-- a cockatrice.

General Belle: A what?

General Bloom: That thing Twilight was talking about earlier. I say we capture it! Think of the possibilities. We could turn entire armies into stone with its stare!

General Loo: But where's the fun in that? There's no blood!

General Bloom: We are trying to defeat our enemy in the most efficient way possible.

General Loo: But turning them into stone is too-- quick. You can't savor all those little emotions.

General Bloom: E-gads! You sick freak! What the hell is wrong with you!?

General Loo: Nothing! I'm totally fine, baby!

General Bloom: You should be in a mental hospital.

General Loo: Mental hospital!? I am a child prodigy! Never before has a greater mare commanded the skies.

General Bloom: Ha! I beg to differ! The sky belongs to the earth ponies now! Which are commanded by me!

General Loo: Ha ha ha ha! Are you talking about that little balloon fleet you've got? "Oh look out everyone! Here come the doooooom zeppelins! Ooooh!?” They wouldn't stand a chance against the cloud fortresses.

General Bloom: You goon! Our fleet possesses firepower far greater than anything ever seen by pony kind, ten fold.

General Belle: Stop it both of you!

General Bloom: Sweetie Belle, stay out of this. This is between me and Scootaloo!

General Belle: Applebloom! You shut your mouth!

General Bloom: Whoa.

General Loo: Jeez.

General Bloom: Take it easy.

General Belle: It doesn't matter whose military is better guys! What matters is that we win this war, and that we get it done as quickly as possible! It is better to have a quick and horrible war, then long and horrible war! Now Scootaloo, I know that you love the blood and guts, but that is not a priority right now, okay? Kapeesh!?

General Loo: Kapeesh--

General Belle: Applebloom, Kapeesh!?

General Bloom: Kapeesh-- Yah.

General Belle: Good-- I don't know what came over me. I'm so sorry.

General Bloom: It happens.

General Loo: Yah, don't sweat it, dude.

General Belle: I just hate seeing you guys fighting.

General Bloom: Uh-- Sorry.

General Loo: Yah.

General Belle: Okay-- Now let's go out there, capture this thing!


[CUT TO: INT. FLUTTERSHY'S HOUSE - NIGHT Fluttershy sits alone on the couch.]

Fluttershy: Gee-- It sure is quiet up there. I better go check on them.

[She gets up and flies out.]


[CUT TO: INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT Fluttershy enters the room and finds the bed empty.]

Fluttershy: Girls!?


[CUT TO: EXT. FLUTTERSHY'S HOUSE - NIGHT

[Fluttershy flies outside.]

Fluttershy: Girls!?

[Fluttershy goes over to the fence post.]

Fluttershy: [Continued] Oh no! No no no no! They went into the everfree forest!? Why would they do that!? Why would they do that!?

[She looks inside the forest.]

Fluttershy: [Continued] Damn it! Why does this kind of stuff always happen to me!?

[She take a deep breath.]

Fluttershy: [Continued] Gotta face my fears man. Awwwwww maaaaaaaaaaaan!


[CUT TO: EXT. EVERFREE FOREST - NIGHT Fluttershy walks alone in the forest.]

Fluttershy: Girls? [Beat with a gulp] Girls!? [Hits a tree] Aw!

[Fluttershy knocks into a statue of Twilight.]

Fluttershy: Ah! Twilight! What happened to you!? Aw no-- Aw man! We're dead! We are all dead! I-- Aw man. I gotta find those girls. And fast!

[She looks back down at Twilight.]

Fluttershy: I'll come back for you!

[She flies back off.]


[CUT TO: EXT. EVERFREE FOREST - NIGHT The crusaders are walking through the forest.]

General Belle: Guys. I don't think we thought this through.

General Loo: You think!?

General Bloom: For the last time, we are going to locate it, ambush it, then capture it! Simple!

General Loo: Yah, 3 fillies against a cockatrice. And you say I'm the crazy one?

General Bloom: Yes, miss blood and guts!

[Fluttershy plops down next to them.]

Fluttershy: Girls! There you are! We have to get out of here now!

General Belle: Fluttershy? But--

Fluttershy: No buts man! We're in terrible danger man!

[They hear rustling in the leaves.]

Fluttershy: Ah! What was that!?

[The cockatrice emerges and gives out a small cry which sounds like a goat. Fluttershy is face to face with the Cockatrice.]

Fluttershy: I-- You know to be honest, that's just kinda ridiculous. I mean, it's a snake with a chicken head for a head.

[The Cockatrice gives out a scream that sounds like a goat.]

Cockatrice: Ahhh!

Fluttershy: Ah! Oh! Oh god! Ah!

[The crusaders run for their lives.]

The Crusaders: Ahhh!

The Crusaders: come across the state of Twilight.

[They stare at her for a moment, then scream.]

The Crusaders: Ahhh!

Fluttershy: Girls! We got to get out of here!

The Crusaders: Ahhh!

Fluttershy: Girls! Oh my god. Girls!

The Crusaders: Ahhh!

[The Cockatrice appears again.]

Fluttershy: Ah!

[Fluttershy looks down at the cowering crusaders. Then the rabbits start squeeing.]

Fluttershy: Oh no! Not the rabbits! No not the rabbits!

Cockatrice: Ahhh!

The Crusaders: Ahhh!

Rabbits: Squee! Squee! Squee!

Fluttershy: I can't take it anymore! Everybody shut up!

[The woods go quiet.]

Fluttershy: God! I have had it! I mean seriously! This isn't scary! This is just annoying! And stupid!

Cockatrice: Ahhh!

Fluttershy: Hey! I said shut up, man!

[The cockatrice is taken aback.]

Fluttershy: Did you hear me cockca-snake chicken-- head thing! I'm not scared!

Cockatrice: Ahhh!

Fluttershy: Ahhh!

Rabbits: SQUEE SQUEE!

[The cockatrice explodes. Beat.]

General Bloom: I-- Damn it! You blew it up!

General Loo: That was awesome!

General Bloom: We were going to use that!

Fluttershy: [In a terrified whisper] Why did it explode?

General Bloom: The creature feeds off of fear, and is weakened by bravery.

Fluttershy: What?

Twilight Sparkle: Uh-- [Coughing]

Fluttershy: Twilight! You're alive!

Twilight Sparkle: Uh-- What happened?


[CROSS DISSOLVE: EXT. FLUTTERSHY'S HOUSE - DAY Twilight and Fluttershy sit at a table. Twilight writes a letter.]

Twilight Sparkle: I want to thank you again Fluttershy, for saving me.

Fluttershy: Hey, no sweat man.

Twilight Sparkle: So I guess you're not afraid of rabbits or animals anymore huh?

Fluttershy: Um... Maybe a little. I think i'll at the very least be able to sleep a bit better.

Twilight Sparkle: Well, it's a start.


[CUT TO: INT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE - DAY Celestia and Luna stand in front of the window.]

[Beat.]

Celestia: It's time.

Luna: What?

Celestia: Tomorrow. [Beat] The war begins.

[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 18

     
[EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY It is a bright and glorious day. The sound of a marching band can be heard. Ribbons fall from the sky, as ponies rush to the town square to see a parade.Soldiers march in the parade. Zeppelins glide lazily in the sky. The three Crusaders watch ponyville with pride.]


[CUT TO: EXT. CLUB HOUSE - DAY General Loo slides up to the club house.]

General Bloom: Whoa! Those were some insane "Scooter-trix"!

[General Loo looks at the camera.]

General Loo: How is new tree house coming along?

General Bloom: Uh, it's a command center. And we're making excellent progress!

General Loo: Why did you cover it with glitter?

General Bloom: Ah, um-- I think Sweetie Belle did that.

General Loo: Kay-- [Beat] Where is Sweetie Belle anyway?


[CUT TO: EXT. APPLE ORCHARD - DAY General Belle is dusting off a bench with her tale. She sings a song.]

General Belle: [Song]

[She starts dusting a tree.]

General Bloom: Ah! There she is. Sweetie Belle!

[General Belle looks up.]

General Belle: Hey guys!

General Loo: Why are you dusting a tree?

General Belle: [A look of self questioning] Uh-- I don't know.

[They all stare at each other.]


[CUT TO: INT. CLUB HOUSE - DAY]

Text: DAY 1

[The 3 crusaders makes their plans in their command center.]

General Bloom: Right! So the Zebras have declared war on the Changeling empire. They'll be keeping the them busy while we take out Sombra.

General Loo: I'm gonna send 2 divisions down to the east coast. Just in case. Sentry will command them.

General Bloom: Sentry? Who the hell is-- Oh no. No, you don't mean Flash Sentry do you!?

General Loo: Yah. Why?

General Bloom: Flash Sentry-- My arch nemesis--

General Loo: Oh boy. Are you serious?

General Bloom: He's always stealing my glory! And besting me in whatever we do! I hate his guts!

General Loo: Well, I'm putting him on the East coast.

General Bloom: Good. At least he won't have any part in our victory against Sombra.

General Loo: Yah--

General Bloom: Sweetie Belle, any news from your scouts?

General Belle: Chrysalis and Sombra are scrambling to mobilize their troops. We've caught them by surprise!

General Bloom: Excellent. Everything is going as planned. Now let's move on to the other important topic of our meeting. [Beat] Question 5 of the math homework. Now I was working on this all night and I couldn't get it.

General Loo: Oh dear god.

General Belle: No. Not the math homework!


[CUT TO: INT. LIBRARY - DAY]

Text: DAY 2

[Twilight and Cheerilee walk into the library. Spike greets Twilight.]

Spike: I had nothing to do with this.

Twilight Sparkle: What the-- Why do people keep on breaking into my house!?

[The Crusaders sit on top of a pile of books.]

General Bloom: Why does math have to be such a difficult concept!?

Twilight Sparkle: Hey, kid! What are you doing in my house!?

General Bloom: This is a Library. It's allowed. We're allowed.

Twilight Sparkle: Not on the weekends it's not!

General Bloom: But it's a Tuesday.

Twilight Sparkle: I what-- seriously? It's a Tuesday?

Spike: It's a Tuesday.

Twilight Sparkle: Wha-- I-- Damn it.

Cheerilee: Students! You were wise to come to the Library! I hope you're studying for the big math test next Monday!

General Belle: We have a math test next Monday!?

Cheerilee: Oh yes! And you better not fail it either! Or you're doomed!

[The Crusaders watch with fake smiles.]


[CUT TO: INT. CLUB HOUSE - DAY The Crusaders are panicking.]

General Bloom: A math test on Monday!?

General Belle: I can't do this. I can't do this!

General Loo: Damn the math.

General Bloom: Alright, alright! Calm down! [Beat] It's gonna be okay. All we have to do is study a bit. That's not-- That's not that bad.

General Loo: But just look at our math homework! Question 6. What is 2-- [Beat] Minus 5.

General Bloom: What!? You can't subtract 5 from 2. It must be some sort of typo!

General Loo: No. It's real.

General Bloom: No! That's impossible!

General Belle: [Starts crying]

General Loo: We're doomed!


[CUT TO: INT. CLUB HOUSE - DAY]

Text: Day 4

[The three generals discuss the math.]

General Bloom: Okay, now visualize the apples in your head.

General Belle: Okay.

[She closes her eyes.]

General Bloom: What is 5 + 2?

[Beat.]

General Belle: 3?

General Bloom: No!

General Belle: I can't do it! It's too hard!

General Bloom: Visualize the apples!

[Beat.]

General Belle: [Whimper] Se-- s- s- s- Seven?

General Bloom: I-- Yes! Ha ha! You're right, that's right!

General Belle: I did it!?

General Bloom: You did it!

General Belle: Hurray!

General Bloom: There we go. We just needed to find a different way to explaining it to you!

General Loo: Uh guys? I got some bad news.

General Bloom: Oh what now?

General Loo: The changelings mobilized quicker than we thought.

General Bloom and General Belle: What!?

General Loo: A small portion of their forces made it to the east coast and broke our defenses.

General Belle: Oh no! What are we going to do!?

General Bloom: Yes!

[Pause.]

General Loo: What?

General Bloom: Ha ha! His little "I've never lost a battle" reputation is down! Down I say! Down! Ha ha!

[Beat.]

General Loo: A-- Are you talking about-- [Beat] Sentry?

General Bloom: Uh Yah! So, the clever and talented Flash Sentry has lost the first battle he takes part in.

General Bloom: How does it feel Flash? How does it feel to LOSE! That's right! Get noscoped! Get noscoped!

General Loo: Applebloom! Get a hold of yourself!

General Bloom: I-- Okay, I'm cool. I'm cool. I ummmm right. So i'll send in 4 earth divisions from the north to the south. Sweetie Belle, we'll need magical support.

General Belle: You got it.

General Loo: Won't we be splitting our forces?

General Bloom: It's only a few divisions. We have many, many more. No battleplan ever survives contact with the enemy. We can allow some change in our plan. It's not like anything drastic has happened.


[CUT TO: INT. CLUB HOUSE - DAY]

Text: Day 6

General Belle: The Zebras surrendered.

General Bloom: What!? Why!?

General Belle: Their soldiers kept on misunderstanding orders, and they just kept losing battles.

General Bloom: Great blithering piffle dragons! I guess we should've expected this from a nation whose language consists of nothing but riddles! God, how have they even survived this long!? I mean they're great code breakers but damn!

General Loo: Bad news from the north as well. The zombies haven't been total pushovers.

General Bloom: Wha-- What do you mean? They're slow moving targets! Just shoot them?

General Loo: Well you have to get them in the head, and our weapons aren't exactly the most accurate.

General Bloom: Wha de-- Damn the zombies! Bombard them with our imperial fleet and and finish them off with our ground troops! It is vital that we crush the north quickly!

General Loo: Doom Balloons.


[CUT TO: INT. CLUB HOUSE - DAY]

Text: DAY 7

[The crusaders discuss the war.]

General Belle: The entire changeling army is now advancing toward our borders.

General Loo: Our soldiers can't take the cold of the north.

General Belle: They're crushing everything in their path!

General Loo: They're gaining soldiers from our dead.

General Belle: They're closing in on both sides!

General Loo: We have to change tactics. The Schlieffen Pony Plan has failed!

[The word "Failed" echoes in Apple Bloom's head.]

General Bloom: No it hasn't! We can still do this! We just need a few more days!

General Loo: Are you nuts!? We can't just crush Sombra. The climate up there is too cold for our soldiers, and the zombies aren't affected by the snow!

General Belle: Applebloom we don't have time to move everything back and defeat Sombra!

General Bloom: But we have to stick with the plan! It won't work if we don't devote all our energy towards it!

General Loo: But it's not working! We can't crush the north in time!

General Bloom: No! It--Applejack comes in.

Applejack: Hey girls.

The Crusaders: [Surprised] Ah!

General Bloom: Applejack. Hi.

[General Bloom's face is contort with fear.]

Applejack: Just thought i'd come in and check on ya. [Beat] Uh, Applebloom. Are you okay?

General Bloom: I-- [Beat] Applejack.

Applejack: Ya sugar?

General Bloom: I'm-- [Beat] I'm sorry. I couldn't protect you.

Applejack: What?

General Belle: Oh my gosh.

General Loo: Ah ha ha! Applebloom is fine. She's just a bit nervous about that-- that math test tomorrow. She'll be fine.

Applejack: Oh, well don't worry Applebloom. Cheer up. It's only a math test. I'm sure you'll do fine.

General Bloom: Yah--

Applejack: Well I have to get back to work. You girls have fun.

[Applejack leaves. There is a long pause as the crusaders stand in silence.]

General Bloom: We can't hold them off. It's over.

[Applebloom imagines Ponyville under attack. She stands in the town square as ponies run away. The buildings look destroyed. Changelings rain from the sky. Ponyville is on fire.]

General Loo: Applebloom.

[General Bloom stands motionless.]

General Loo: Hey Applebloom!

[Ponyville is in flames.]

General Loo: Snap out of it!

General Bloom: What--

General Loo: Applebloom! Look at me! No battleplan ever survives contact with the enemy. Remember? We tried something, and it didn't work. But that doesn't mean we give up!

General Belle: We can work it out!

General Loo: We're not dead yet.

General Belle: Visualize the apples!

General Bloom: Yah.

General Loo: Yah! Now get your head in the game!

General Bloom: Yah!

General Loo: And let's murder these people!

General Bloom: Yah!

General Loo: Yah! Let's blow them up! And hang their guts on the trees for their future legions to see!

General Bloom: Okay, that's enough Scootaloo. Thank you. [Beat] Right. We need to go on full defensive. Sweetie Belle, call back three fourths of our force to the south, and start constructing fortifications.

General Belle: Right!

General Bloom: Scootaloo, we need to bombard the zombies from the skies where they can't touch us. Use the Zeppelins, fortresses, Pegasuses, everything. Hold nothing back!

General Loo: My pleasure.

General Bloom: It's going to be a long war. But we'll get through it. And we'll win!


[CUT TO: INT. CLUB HOUSE - DAY]

Text: Day 8

[The three generals discuss the war.]

General Loo: That was the hardest test of my life.

General Bloom: Well we passed. That's all that matters. Sweetie Belle, news from the front?

General Belle: We should be able to construct the fortifications before the changelings arrive.

General Loo: What are we going to do about the weather in the north?

General Bloom: Already taken care of. I sent a letter to Canterlot yesterday. I must say, it does feels good to have a god who controls the sun on our side.

General Loo: Sweet, I also have some good news, as well!

General Belle: Ooh, What is it?

General Loo: Sentry's defeat on the east coast was actually a feigned retreat. He led the changelings into a trap, and massacred them. They're chasing their remnants back over the boarder right now.

General Belle: Really!? Oh that's fantastic! He deserves a medal.

General Bloom: Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!

General Belle: Oh boy.

[Applejack looks in through the window.]

General Bloom: Gah! Curse you Flash Sentry!

[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 19

     
[EXT. TWILIGHT'S HOUSE - DAY It is a bright sunny day.]


[CUT TO: INT. TWILIGHT'S HOUSE - DAY Twilight, The Bird, Pinkie and Fluttershy are hanging out.]

Twilight Sparkle: The Bird. Don't be a ninni-muffin.

Pinkie Pie: Yah, don't do be a ninni-muffin.

Fluttershy: Yah do that again, man.

[Spike bursts in.]

Spike: Guys! You gotta help me!

Twilight Sparkle: Not now Spike, we're busy.

Spike: But Rarity! She's been kidnapped!

All except Spike: What!?


[CUT TO: MAIN THEME]


[CUT TO: EXT. TWILIGHT'S HOUSE - DAY It is a bright sunny day.]

Twilight Sparkle: Spike! Calm down, okay? Take a deep breath.

Spike: [Deep Breath]

Twilight Sparkle: Alright, now tell us what happened.

Spike: Okay. [Beat] So, Rarity and I were in the rock quarry, looking for gemstones--


[CUT TO: EXT. ROCK QUARRY - DAY Spike and Rarity are walking along a rock quarry with a wagon to carry gems.]

Spike: Wait, YOU were Steven Magnet's arch!?

Rarity: Um, yep. He would try to eat me, but I would always convince him to buy a dress instead.

Spike: Did you do that one green one with the flowers and the lace?

Rarity: Oh yeah-- Um, that was not my best work. I was young.

Spike: [Laughs] He couldn't get out of it. He was stuck in it for months! It was hilarious! I keep forgetting you were in the badlands too.

Rarity: Born and raised.

Spike: Hmhm. Hey look up there.

[A zeppelin glides overhead. The mood shifts.]

Rarity: I hope Equestria wins.

Spike: Really? Why?

Rarity: Um well, let me put it like this. If Equestria wins, there will still be a Changeling Empire. But if the Changeling Empire wins, there won't be an Equestria.

Spike: Hm.

[From the bushes, a hand lowers a branch to see the two talking. This is Jessica One, a dog like creature. After watching Spike and Rarity, two other arms sink back into the bush.]

Spike: Do you ever think about going back?

Rarity: Sometimes. Um-- I do miss my friends. [Beat] What about you?

Spike: Me?

Rarity: Yah. Do you miss home?

Spike: Uh. Not really. I didn't exactly fit in there.

[Rarity senses another gemstone.]

Rarity: Ooh! Bring the cart Spike. I think I sense a big one.

[Her horn leads her to a tree.]

Rarity: That's strange. It seems to be in the trees.

[Jessica One leaps out from the tree.]

Rarity: Ah!

Jessica One: Hi, my name's Jessica.

[A distant shot of the quarry. Rarity screams.]


[CUT TO: EXT. ROCK QUARRY - DAY The flashback ends, Spike and the mane 6 are running through the rock quarry.]

Spike: And then they just took her down a hole.

Twilight Sparkle: Jessica? What the hell?

Spike: That's the hole they went down.

[Our heros halt.]

Twilight Sparkle: Ah. Yep, that's a diamond dog hole alright.

Pinkie Pie: So what's the plan?

Twilight Sparkle: We go in and get Rarity back.

Pinkie Pie: Actually that's more of an objective. A plan would be a set of actions we would take--

Twilight Sparkle: No time! Diamond dogs EAT ponies. Even Changeling ponies.

Pinkie Pie: Point taken.


[CUT TO: INT. CAVES - DAY Rarity faces the Jessicas.]

Jessica One: Ha ha! We caught the pony!

Jessica Two: Hurrah!

Rarity: [A bit panicked] Whatever do you want from me!?

Jessica One: We're gonna eat you!

Jessica Two: Yah! We're gonna eat you!

Jessica Three: Ha ha! Suck it!

Rarity: What!?

Jessica One: Yes! We just gotta get some knives and stuff. Now where did I put them.

[Rarity thinks wildly in her head. The Jessicas improve while she thinks.]

Rarity: [Conscience] They're gonna eat me! THEY'RE GOING TO EAT ME. What am I gonna do!? [Beat] Um. Calm down, Rarity. It's okay. You've um, been in this kind of situation before. You can handle this.

Rarity: Hey, um-- You know, I don't think I would taste very good.

Jessica One: Aw, that's what they all say. But then they taste just fine.

Rarity: Eh. Okay. Um so-- Jessica. That was your name, right?

All Jessicas: Yes.

Rarity: You-- Wait, which of you is named Jessica?

Jessica One: I'm Jessica. [Beat] And that's Jessica, and that's Jessica.

Jessica Three: Hi.

Rarity: Um-- Why are you all named Jessica?

Jessica One: Jessica. Best name.

Jessica Three: Definitely.

Rarity: Well, um. Why not have one of you named Susan or something.

Jessica One: Then they wouldn't be named Jessica.

Jessica Three: Yah, stupid.

Rarity: Okay-- But doesn't it, um-- Doesn't it get confusing if you're all named Jessica?

Jessica One: No, not really. We all like doing different things. That's how we know who's who. Jessica likes playing the banjo, Jessica likes doing math--

Jessica Two: You bet.

Jessica One: --and I do feng shui.

Jessica Two: Oh! But we all like to read fan fictions.

Jessica One: and Jessica Three: Ooooh yes. Yes.

Jessica Two: Pony ones.

Jessica One: Yes, pony fan fictions are the best.

Jessica Three: Except that candy mare one.

Jessica Two: AND Jessica Two: Oh no. No. Yah, not the Candy Mare one.

Jessica One: That one was really scary. The Candy Mare could gobble US up! And that's no good.

Jessica Two: Yah, no good.

Jessica Three: [Shiver] You remember that one part with the hot caramel?

Rarity: [At the randomness] Wow-- Esoteric.


[CUT TO: INT. CAVES - DAY Spike and the others are wondering the caves.]

Twilight Sparkle: [Looking at all the tunnels] Oh, good grief. This is gonna take forever! Maybe we should have thought of a better plan.

Pinkie Pie: Or even a plan. Zing!


[Cut TO: INT. CAVES - DAY The Jessica's continue to bicker over the candy mare.]

Jessica Three: But the candy mare can eat multiple creatures at once!

Jessica Two: And it can regenerate itself. And it possesses ponies that eat it.

Jessica One: Okay, enough of the Candy Mare! Let's just eat!

Rarity: Wait! But um, wouldn't I taste better if you cooked me? You should build a fire.

Jessica One: Nah, we like raw pony.

Rarity: Oh-- Help!

[Cave shot.]

Rarity: Someone! Anyone! Help me!


[CUT TO: INT. CAVES - DAY Our heroes continue their search.]

The Bird: So you guys should just call me, TB for short.

Spike: I'm not calling you that.

Twilight Sparkle: No, that's-- i'm not calling you that.

[Rarity calls out.]

Spike: Hey, everyone shut up! Listen.

Rarity: Someone! Anyone! Um-- Help me!

Twilight Sparkle: It's Rarity! She's down that way!

Spike: Come on, let's go!


[CUT TO: INT. CAVES - DAY Rarity is backing into a corner.]

Rarity: Help!

Jessica One: No one can hear you pony. It's just us diamond dogs down here. [Laughs to himself.]

[Rarity is thinking for a moment.]

Rarity: Oh. OH! Twilight! You've come to rescue me!

Jessica One: What!? Where!?

[They turn around.]

[Sound of Rarity changing. The three Jessicas turn to face her.]

Jessica One: Hey!? Where's the pony?

Rarity: [As Jessica] Um. I thought you had it.

Jessica One: Me? I didn't take it.

Rarity: [As Jessica] Maybe, Jessica ran off with her.

Jessica One: Jessica!? Ug! I hate Jessica! She's always taking my stuff!

Rarity: [As Jessica] Yah, um. And, she also said that you were a-- a-- a ninni-muffin.

Jessica One: Oh that is it! Come on Jessica's! Let's go beat Jessica up!

Jessica Two: I don't know Jessica. Jessica's kinda big. I don't wanna mess with her.

Jessica Three: Wait, are we talking about Jessica or Jessica? Because going after Jessica is one thing, but--

Jessica One: Oh don't be such a sissy, Jessica. There are three of us! We could totally take her!

Rarity: [As Jessica] Yeah, um, you should go get back your pony!

Jessica One: Yah we should! Which way did she go, Jessica!?

Rarity: [As Jessica] Um. [Beat] That way.

Jessica One: Right! Come on Jessicas!

Jessica Two: AND Jessica Three: Yah! Yah! We'll show her!

[The Jessicas leave. Rarity changes back and sighs in relief. Suddenly, the Mane Six burst in.]

Spike: Rarity! You're okay!

Rarity: Oh thank god! You guys came to rescue me!

Spike: Of course.

Jessica One: Hey! It's the pony! And she's got other ponies with her!

Twilight Sparkle: Run!

Jessica One: Get them!


[Cut TO: INT. CAVES - DAY Our heroes rush back down the tunnels to escape pursuing dogs.]

Twilight Sparkle: God damn it! Which way do we go!

Applejack: They're gaining on us! We'll never make it!

Twilight Sparkle: [Sigh] Fine!

[They all stop.]

Twilight Sparkle: We'll have to fight our way out!

Fluttershy: What!? No way man! We can not take on diamond dogs!

Jessica One: Yah! Your yellow pony is right. You should just give up.

Twilight Sparkle: Shut up! Fluttershy! We are the elements of freaking harmony! [Beat] Give em hell!

[Twilight's horn goes off and an enormous explosion engulfs the room. Dogs fly everywhere. The ponies attack! Both sides score hits on the other, but the consistent explosions defeat the dogs.]

Spike: They're running away! We did it!

Jessica One: We'll be back ponies! [Calls back down the cave.] Call for re-enforcements! Jessica's unite!

Twilight Sparkle: Guys, we can't take them all down. We have to get out of here!

Applejack: Well what are we gonna do!?

Rarity: Wait, I have an idea!

Twilight Sparkle: What is it!?

Rarity: Just um, let me handle it. [Clears her throat. As Jessica] Ahhhh! Oh my god!

Twilight Sparkle: Wow, that's pretty good.

[Rarity shushes her.]

Rarity: [As Jessica] Run away Jessica's! Run away!

[From down the cave.]

Jessica Two: Hey, what's that?

Jessica One: It sounds like Jessica.

Rarity: [As Jessica] I don't believe it! It's-- Um-- It's the Candy Mare!

Jessica One: The candy mare!

Rarity: [As Jessica] She's real! She's actually real! Oh my god! She's devouring the ponies! Ahhhhhh! She's seen me! She's coming for me! Run Jessica's Run! Um, RUUUUUUUN!

Jessica One: Every Jessica for herself!

[The dogs run off screaming. Everything gets quiet.]

Twilight Sparkle: You did it. They're gone.

Spike: What the hell is a candy mare?

Rarity: I don't know.

Pinkie Pie: Now that-- [Beat] Was a plan!

Applejack: Wow. [Beat] That was amazing. I didn't know you could change your voice like that.

Rarity: Oh, um-- Thanks, Applejack. I've had years of practice.

Twilight Sparkle: Hey, guys. We should leave before they catch on.

Spike: Agreed.


[CUT TO: EXT. TWILIGHT'S HOUSE - DAY It is a bright and sunny day.]


[CUT TO: INT. LIBRARY - DAY Spike and the mane 6 are asking questions about Rarity's adventure.]

Applejack: So they thought you were a diamond dog?

Rarity: Yep.

Pinkie Pie: Damn Rarity! You have a gift!

Rarity: Aw. It's nothing, really. Um-- I'm just glad you guys came.

Twilight Sparkle: Thank Spike, he's the one that told us.

Rarity: Thank you Spike.

Spike: Hey. No prob. Only looking out for my friends. [Beat] Now who wants nachos!

[Spike gets a plate of nachos.]

[Zooming out of the treehouse.]

Various Ponies: Aw dude sweet! I'm starving! Yes!

Pinkie Pie: Do herbivores eat nachos?


[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 20

     
[INT. SPA - DAY Other Flutter, a changeling posing as Fluttershy, sits in the spa with Rarity.]

Rarity: [Sigh] I don't know, Fluttershy. The dress business just isn't going so well.

Other Flutter: Um. Have you considered a different business model?

Rarity: Well I got all this extra material and some better machines and a secretary--

Other Flutter: Well that sounds great, man. What is the problem?

Rarity: Then I remembered that like 90% of the town doesn't even wear clothes.

Other Flutter: Ah--

Rarity: So now, um, i'm up to my quarters in debt, I had to fire my secretary, and the manuals on the machines are all in Saddle Arabian!

Other Flutter: Well maybe it is time to go into a new profession, man?

Rarity: No.

[Beat.]

Other Flutter: Um. Well, maybe I could help?

Rarity: Help how?

Other Flutter: I don't know, maybe model some of your dresses for you. Give you ideas.

Rarity: Huh. You know what. Um. Sure. Let’s, let's do it.


[CUT TO: MAIN THEME]


[CUT TO: INT. BOUTIQUE - DAY Other Flutter is wearing an elaborate dress, which Rarity is making adjustments as they talk.]

Other Flutter: Are you even reading the newspapers, man? The casualties are crazy! I don't think we can win this war, man!

Rarity: Yah um. But, you know, I think we'll pull through. Because um-- you know we're in good hooves.

Other Flutter: I don't know, man. It doesn't seem like any of the generals know what they're doing-- man.

Rarity: Look, um, I know they're only like eight, but they're all extremely brilliant.

Other Flutter: Whoa wait-- wait a second. Eight? Like, they're eight years old?

Rarity: Oh, um-- No.

Other Flutter: The generals are children!?

Rarity: Shhh! Keep your voice down!

Other Flutter: [Much quieter] The generals are children!?

Rarity: [Sigh] Yes.

Other Flutter: Why!?

Rarity: I-- Because Celestia trusts them! I don’t know!

Other Flutter: But that's insane!

[Beat.]

Rarity: --ly brilliant? Look, no one would ever believe that, um, children are leading the armies. It’s the perfect disguise.

Other Flutter: Um-- Yah-- I guess-- man.

Rarity: Um-- Just don't tell anyone, okay?

Twilight Sparkle: Don't tell anyone about what?

[Twilight Sparkle, Spike and Pinkie Pie are suddenly standing in the room with them as if they had always been there.]

Rarity: Twilight!? You! What-- How did you, um, get into my house!?

Twilight Sparkle: Ha, ha! Doesn't feel so good does it.

Rarity: Um. [Beat] Do you want to buy a dress?

Twilight Sparkle: No! No I don’t think so Rarity!

[The doorbell rings.]

Rarity: Oh! Uh, uh-- That must be photographer.

Other Flutter: A photographer? Wait what!?

[Photo Finish bursts into the store. She looks fabulous.]

Photo Finish: The gasp! I am here now.

Rarity: Welcome, Ms. Finish.

Photo Finish: Who said that!?

Rarity: Uh. I did. I'm Rarity.

Photo Finish: Ah yes. I can feel your aura now.

Rarity: My aura?

Photo Finish: Yes! It's so beautiful! Never felt anything like it!

Rarity: Um, thank you.

Photo Finish: So where is the subject?

Rarity: Uh, over there.

Photo Finish: Where? I'm not being hit by a flash-pow aura.

Rarity: Over there. Um, like-- Can't you see her.

Photo Finish: Oh no dear, I'm blind.

[Beat.]

Rarity: What?

Photo Finish: It's all about the aura, baby. It's not what's said, it's what isn't said. It's not what's seen, it's what isn't seen!

Twilight Sparkle: Hang on, you're a photographer?

Photo Finish: Who said that!?

Twilight Sparkle: I did, Twilight.

Photo Finish: Well don't, you raging ball of color. You gave me quite the start.

Other Flutter: Um, Rarity? Can we talk about this? I am not exactly comfortable with picture taking.

Photo Finish: That must be her. [Beat.] Ah yes. Your aura is quite amazing. It shifts and rolls. Never felt anything like it.

Pinkie Pie: Do you say that to everyone?

Photo Finish: Oh bejeezus! Okay. How many ponies are in here right now?

Other Flutter: Four.

Photo Finish: Okay good. You are all beautiful, everyone of you.

Spike: You know, i'm here too.

Photo Finish: Ah! Okay, really!? [Beat] Alright, before we continue, is there anyone else here!? Anyone? [Beat] Okay, great.

Applejack: Hey, what's everyone doing at Rarity's house?

Photo Finish: Damn it!

Text: 5 Seconds Later.

[Photo Finish takes out her camera and begins taking pictures. Other Flutter cringes at the flashes of light.]

Photo Finish: Yes! No! Yes! Yes! Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! I'm finished! [The camera packs up.] This Fluttershy is an absolute compelling--mystery. I can see it now. Fame! Fortune! She's going to be a star!

Other Flutter: Now hold on!

Photo Finish: You've definitely got to hire her for more. If you don't i'll lose all respect for you, and kick you in the shin.

Rarity: Oh um, okay. [Off handedly as Photo Finish kicks her in the shin] Ow.

Photo Finish: I did it anyway.

Rarity: Um-- I noticed. [Off handedly as Photo Finish kicks her in the shin] Ow.

Other Flutter: Hey, I do not want to be famous, man.

Photo Finish: Oh don't be ridiculous, dear. Everyone wants to be famous. Now I have other business to attend to, but you'll be hearing from me. [Beat.] Which way's the door?


[CUT TO: INT. FASHION BUILDING - DAY Rarity, Photo Finish, and Fluttershy stand in the dressing room, preparing for the big show.]

Rarity: We've sold so many dresses! Think of all the ponies were helping!

Other Flutter: Yeah, that's great, man.

Rarity: Just one more fashion show, and I'll have those machines, um-- payed off!

Other Flutter: Look. Rarity, I have been meaning to talk to you about--

Rarity: Fluttershy! Um, are you thinking of bailing on me?

Other Flutter: Um. Well. Yeah--

Rarity: Fluttershy, you are the element of kindness!

Other Flutter: Where's the kindness in this man?

Rarity: If you are not kind and help me, how can I be generous help others? Now get up on that stage!

[Other Flutter groans.]


[CUT TO: INT. CATWALK - DAY Other Flutter walks up on the stage. Other Flutter trips, letting out a gasp in his natural voice. The crowd gasps.]

Random Pony: Oh, would you look at that. [Starts laughing in a slow and posh way]. Ah ha ha ha ha.

Random Pony 2: Ah ha ha ha ha.

Photo Finish: Wait, what's going on? Why are you laughing?

[Fluttershy is cowers in front of the cameras.]

Fluttershy: Urg! That's it! I'm out!

[Fluttershy rush's off of the catwalk.]


[CUT TO: INT. SPA - DAY Twilight Sparkle walks into the spa to find Rarity contemplating life.]

Twilight Sparkle: [Sees Rarity looking sad] Rarity?

Rarity: Oh hey, um-- Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: Hey, you doing okay? I heard about the fashion show.

Rarity: Ah, yeah. Well, it happens. You know, I'm over it.

Twilight Sparkle: So what's wrong?

Rarity: [Sigh] I don't know. I've been selling a lot of dresses lately. And i've been helping a lot of ponies. But I just feel empty.

Twilight Sparkle: Well Rarity, maybe you feel empty because how we as ponies feel doesn't come from the outside. It comes from the inside.

Rarity: Um. I guess…

Twilight Sparkle: You are a pony who sells dresses; who sells them to try to make ponies feel better. You are the element of generosity. [Beat] What we wear on the outside is an extension of who we are, but not the definition of who we are.

Rarity: [starting to cry] I was so mean to Fluttershy.

Twilight Sparkle: She's a friend, go talk to her.


[CUT TO: EXT. TOWN SQUARE - DAY Fluttershy and The Bird are talking when Rarity comes up to them.]

Rarity: Fluttershy!

Fluttershy: Hey man.

Rarity: Fluttershy, I am so sorry for what I did. I pushed you into doing that modeling job and I wasn't thinking about your feelings and I realize how wrong I was and I am so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?

[Beat.]

Fluttershy: What are you talking about, man?

Rarity: The fashion show. Like, what I said about kindness, and-- [Beat] Like this whole week.

Fluttershy: I've been gone all week, man.

Rarity: You-- What?

Fluttershy: Yeah. The Bird and I went to Skycon.

Rarity: Sky . . . No. You were here. The Bird, did you go with Fluttershy to sky thing? [Beat.] The Bird? [Beat.] Hello?

The Bird: Hello.

Rarity: Oh my god-- [Enunciates the words a bit] Did you go to sky pond with Fluttershy this week?

Fluttershy: It's called Skycon, man.

The Bird: Hm, maybe. [Beat] But then again, maybe not.

[Beat.]

Rarity: Wha-- Did you or didn't you!?

The Bird: No. [Beat] I was here all week, trying to give my arch the slip. She's super annoying.

Fluttershy: But, the Bird, you were with me.

Rarity: Okay, now I'm really confused.


[CUT TO: EXT. FLUTTERSHY'S HOUSE - DAY Other Flutter (Kyle) and Leslie (Disguised as The Bird), stand alone in an open field.]

Other Flutter: Hey man. Friend or foe?

Leslie: You're an idiot.

Other Flutter: [Real voice] Wha!? You're an idiot! Idiot!

Leslie: No YOU'RE the idiot! Tell me Kyle, what kind of spy gets himself on the Cover of Vogue Magazine!?

Other Flutter: Well to keep my cover, I ended up on the cover--

Leslie: Kyle! This is not a joke!

Other Flutter: Give me some slack, dude. I was trying to stay in character.

Leslie: Well you staying in character has jeopardized our entire operation!

Other Flutter: Hey! I did what I had to! And for your information this is not the easiest thing in the world, Leslie. Bet you had a blast with your cushy job at Sky con!

Leslie: Excuse me!? Do you have any idea what I had to go through for you!? I had to put up with being consistently called a chicken, for not jumping off of freaking cloud buildings!

Other Flutter: Oh boo-hoo. What, did you get your feelings hurt?

Leslie: It was annoying!

Other Flutter: You sissy. Why didn't you just jump?

Leslie: Argh! [Beat] Did you even learn anything about their generals!?

Other Flutter: Yah! I did actually! The generals are a group of three children. I believe that two of them--

Leslie: Wait. Wait.

Other Flutter: What?

Leslie: They're generals are-- children?

Other Flutter: Yeah.

Leslie: What?

Other Flutter: Yeah, they're generals are three child-ish children. I was told that it was to hide them from us.

Leslie: But that's insane!

[Beat.]

Other Flutter: --ly brilliant?

Captain Leslie: No! Just insane!

Other Flutter: Yah, I know. It sounds kinda stupid.

Leslie: Well, stupid is your expertise.

[He starts to walk off.]

Other Flutter: Wait! Shouldn't we at least look into it?

Leslie: Wha-- No! Are you even listening to yourself!?

Other Flutter: Well she sounded like she--

Leslie: They were obviously on to you from the start! [Beat] We got to pull out anyway. Our spies have been way too careless as it is. Seriously, I feel like I was seeing twins and triplets out there.

[Shot of ponies in a crowd. A bunch of arrows accompanied by dinging sounds appear over the duplicate ponies.]

Other Flutter: Oh relax. All the ponies look the same to me.

Leslie: Oh really? Okay, like right there! Right there! I can tell you right now that's one of ours!

[A random pony starts walking on two legs past them.]

Random Pony: Hey Leslie!

Leslie: Shut up!

[Looks back at her captain.]

Leslie: [Dangerous tone] Call them all back, now. We're leaving.

Other Flutter: Fine!

Leslie: [To herself] Hiring children as generals-- I ask you.


[CUT TO: The End]


Episode 21

     
[EXT. CASTLE - NIGHT Luna's Theme plays to the shot of Canterlot Castle.]


[CUT TO: INT. CASTLE - NIGHT Luna paces around her room.]

Luna: Argh. The Buffalo are going to side with the changeling empire. [Sigh] If I could only talk to them. But I can't leave Equestria while Celestia's at the front. [Beat] Wait. I could send the elements! They could handle negotiations! [Beat and then quite with slow realization] I can send the elements--six little ponies, into the middle of a hostile country, and probably into the hands of our enemies. [Beat] Oh my God-- I'm turning into Celestia!


[CUT TO: MAIN THEME]


[CUT TO: EXT. TRAIN - NIGHT A TRAIN pelts forward across the desert.]


[CUT TO: INT. TRAIN - NIGHT The Mane Six and Spike are all in a compartment getting ready for bed, but Twilight and Spike are in a heated debate.]

Twilight Sparkle: Okay so I think I should be the one to talk to them.

Spike: Why?

Twilight Sparkle: Because I am Celestia's top student.

Spike: Okay, that right there is why you should not be the one to talk to them. They hate Celestia, and everyone knows you worship her.

Twilight Sparkle: No I don't. And, no they don't.

Rarity: Um-- Yeah, they do.

Spike: Everyone in the badlands hates Celestia. The Changelings hate her, the Buffalo hate her, the dragons. Hell, even the horses don't like her that much.

Twilight Sparkle: What, Why?

Spike: Think about Twi. They all live in the desert! It's hot and barren. Why is it hot and barren in the desert, Twi!?

Twilight Sparkle: [Drawn out] Because of Celest--?

Spike: Because of the sun!

Twilight Sparkle: Oh.

Spike: And who controls the sun?

Twilight Sparkle: Celestia.

Spike: Exactly. So maybe not a good idea to send Celestia's prized student to negotiate with them.

Twilight Sparkle: But Celestia's wise and-- Someone back me up here. The Bird, you're with me right?

The Bird: Totally.

Twilight Sparkle: Thank you.

Spike: Oh yah, like the Bird even knows what we're talking about.

Twilight Sparkle: Of course she does! The Bird, what are we talking about?

The Bird: Popcorn is my favorite.

Twilight Sparkle: Argh! Useless!


[CUT TO: INT. TRAIN - DAY]

Text: THE NEXT DAY

[Sunrise. The train rushes furiously on the tracks.]

Pinkie Pie: Oh wow, look at the Buffalo! We see the buffalo running beside the train.

Twilight Sparkle: This may be harder than I thought.

[The buffalo stack. We see the small buffalo. Harper jumps onto the backs of the others.]

Rarity: Oh dear. Um, this is definitely going to be harder than you thought, Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: Why.

Rarity: That one's a changeling.

Twilight Sparkle: What? No way. How can you tell?

Rarity: Because she looks like a pony. Um. Ponies, we can do; but we have a harder time mimicking other creatures. It was a nightmare trying to pull off a diamond dog.

[Harper leaps onto the top of the train.]

Twilight Sparkle: Alright. Hello. [She says this knowing it is the only way to instantly get The Bird's attention].

The Bird: Hello.

Twilight Sparkle: Get up there and find out what she's up to.

The Bird: You can count on me.


[CUT TO: EXT. TRAIN TOP - DAY The Harper runs across the top. The Bird lands in front of her.]

The Bird: Hello.

[She rushes past her.]


[CUT TO: INT. TRAIN - DAY The Bird returns.]

Twilight Sparkle: Well? What is she doing?

The Bird: I don't know.

Twilight Sparkle: Wha--but-- Hello!

The Bird: Hello.

Twilight Sparkle: Find-out-what-she's-doing!

The Bird: You can count on me.


[CUT TO: EXT. TRAIN TOP - DAY The Bird again lands in front of Harper.]

The Bird: What are you doing on the train?


[CUT TO: INT. TRAIN - DAY The Bird returns.]

Twilight Sparkle: What did she say?

The Bird: Nothing. I think she is quite shy, and I'm having a hard time bringing her out of her shell.

Twilight Sparkle: The Bird! I'm not gonna ask this again! Don't leave her side, until you know what she's doing!

The Bird: You can coun--

Twilight Sparkle: GO!


[CUT TO: EXT. TRAIN TOP - DAY The Bird flies down in front of Harper again.]

The Bird: Wow, this is a long train.

[Harper runs past her a third time.]

The Bird: I need to find out what you are doing here; maybe you can tell me why.

[The Bird pursues.]

The Bird: Silly. You can't escape me!

[The Bird crashes into a post. We see the Harper remove the pin and the buffalo push the train away. We see Twilight looking out the back.]

Applejack: Ah nuts, the Bird's down.

Twilight Sparkle: Wha-- Spike!


[CUT TO: EXT. DESERT - DAY We see The Bird running around in the wild.]

The Bird: Okay, do some recon. Figure out what the Buffalo and Changelings are up to. Negotiate a settlement and get some more popcorn. Plan made.

Pinkie Pie: [Appears from nowhere] That is a plan.

The Bird: [Surprised] Whoa, Pinkie, where did you come from? I have flown 1000 furloughs to get out here.

Pinkie Pie: Short cut. [Beat] So where are the Buffalo?

The Bird: No idea, but I think they might live-- [Beat] --under ground.

[Buffalo suddenly come out of nowhere and surround them.]

The Bird: Oh dear.

[The Buffalo move in closer.]

The Bird: Uh-- Parley?

[The dust clears and we see Spike with the Buffalo.]

Spike: Bird, Pinkie. Sup.

The Bird: Uh-- It's pronounced The Bird.

Spike: Right right. Don't worry guys, I got this.


[CUT TO: EXT. CAMPFIRE - NIGHT Pan down to the team at the fire.]

Spike: Here in the desert, there's total mutual respect between Buffalo and dragons. [Beat] And even Changelings.

[Harper walks in with a bowl of Gemstones.]

Harper: Your gemstones, Spike.

Spike: Thanks Harper.

Harper: The chief is ready to see you all now.


[CUT TO: EXT. CAMPFIRE - NIGHT]

Chief: Harper, along with a herd of buffalo and our heroes sit around a campfire.

Chief: You have come to negotiate on behalf of Celestia? Know then, we do not like Celestia. That stupid, arrogant cow of a Queen has torched our land and turned it to a giant litter box!

Spike: Yep! That's Celestia for yah. So arrogant and stupid.

Chief: Yah, she is soooo stupid.

Harper: Ha. No guys. She's so stupid, when she heard the sun was a star she tried to get it's autograph.

[Laughter from the group.]

Spike: Oh no, hey I got one. Celestia is soooo old, that dinosaurs evolved from her.

[Laughter from the group.]

Harper: Celestia is so stupid, she thought if she raised the sun, it would fold.

[Laughter from the group.]

Chief: Aw no no. Celestia is soooo stupid, she thought that if she could get the sun to set, she could also get it to roll over.

[Laughter from the group.]

Harper: Ha ha ha. How could you ponies possibly like such a troll? She has destroyed the land of the buffalo. Can yours be far behind?

The Bird: We like Celestia. She trolls with style. Besides, is your queen any better?

Harper: My Queen? What are you talking about?

The Bird: You're a changeling aren't you?

Harper: I'm no changing!

The Bird: Yes you are.

Chief: It's kind of obvious.

Spike: Yah. You look more like someone's dog than a buffalo.

Chief: Yeah, you're so skinny, you won't look through a keyhole for fear of falling through it.

Spike: Yah, you're so ugly . . .

Harper: Okay, can we move this along? Please?!

Chief: Yes. [Recomposing himself] What are Celestia's terms?

The Bird: She says, "don't join Chrysalis." Beat.

Chief: And?

The Bird: Oh. Uh-- And, don't destroy the colonies?

Chief: That is the message the great Celestia asked you to bring to me?

The Bird: Well, no. It was actually Luna who sent us.

Chief: The Night Princess? Why didn't she come herself?

The Bird: She had to stay and protect Equestria.

Chief: Why couldn't she simply come to us in our dreams?

The Bird: Ohhhhhh. [Cough]

The Bird: Why have you sided with the changelings anyway? It's not like they have your best interests at heart.

Chief: Indeed, we do not like the changeling queen.

Pinkie Pie: Ha! In your face Harper!

Chief: But we approve of Celestia even less.

Pinkie Pie: Aw.

Chief: Celestia has parched our land and seeks to settle her outcast ponies here. The changelings offer us a chance to get it back.

The Bird: What do you mean outcasts?

Chief: Seriously? Have you been to the colonies?

[We see clips of pinky dancing and singing as well as the other ponies of Appaloosa. Braeburn just yells like crazy.]

Applejack: Oh my god you need to shut up! Back to the negotiation.

Chief: Our loyalty is to our land, and we will protect it. We will run off Celestia's ponies, and assist the changelings in their fight. And perhaps someday, our lands will become green again.

The Bird: Well-- Can't we come to some agreement on sparing the colonies? [Beat.]


[CUT TO: EXT. DESERT - DAY]

Text: THE NEXT DAY

Applejack: Come on y'all. Let's go save um!

[The main 6 start running into the desert. But the halt when The other 3 of their group calmly walk towards them.]

Twilight Sparkle: What the-- How the hell did you guys escape from the Buffalo.

Pinkie Pie: We didn't. Harper jumps out from behind a rock.

Applejack: It's the changeling!

Harper: Oh come on! Is it really that obvious-- [Sigh] Listen, ponies. The buffalo have consented to spare your colonies, and allow you to stay.

Applejack: If?

Harper: If-- [Beat] You publicly reject Celestia.

Twilight Sparkle: What? I thought we were still negotiating who's side they were on.

Harper: Well, The Bird took care of that part.

Twilight Sparkle: Damn it!

Harper: Tell all pony-kind she has hurt these nobel buffalo, and that it is something you can't support.

Applejack: What kind of stupid treaty is that?

Harper: The alternative to your colonies being crushed and everyone dying.

Twilight Sparkle: So wait, we just say that Celestia is evil and then everyone lives?

Harper: No, you don't have to say she's evil, just that you, the elements, don't support what she's done here.

Applejack: So what's the catch?

The Bird: That is the catch.

Applejack: What?

The Bird: We can't publicly denounce Celestia. One, she did nothing wrong-- I know about rain and Pegasuses. There just aren't enough to go around. And two, our people can't afford to be divided. What would ponies think if the greatest Equestrian heroes said their cause was an immoral one?

Twilight Sparkle: Whoa, The Bird. When did you get so perceptive?

The Bird: We're at a higher elevation.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh.

Harper: So then, what will it be ponies? Everyone lives or everyone dies? Beat.


[CUT TO: EXT. COLONY - DAY The villagers watch anxiously from their defenses. A rumbling sound. The herd of buffalo stand on a rig overlooking the town.]

Braeburn: Today my fellow ponies, we will defend to the last! Fight for your friends, your family, for all ponykind--

[Swarms of changelings flank either side of a black zeppelin, which over the heads of the buffalo. The townspeople are speechless for a moment.]

Braeburn: Bail! Bail!

Another Pony: Bail!

[Ponies start running all over the place yelling bail!]


[CUT TO: EXT. CASTLE - NIGHT Luna's theme plays to the shot of Canterlot Castle.]


[CUT TO: INT. CASTLE - NIGHT Luna paces back and forth in her room.]

Luna: They failed!? [Beat] But they never fail! They're the Elements of Harmony! Oh sure, whenever Celestia does it, everything magically works out, but the one time I order them to do something, they fail! AHHHHHHHH! [Beat] Oh for the love-- I could have just done the dream thing!


[CUT TO: THE END]


Episode 22

     
[INT. SUGAR-CUBE CORNER - DAY Twilight walking in with Fluttershy.]

Twilight Sparkle: I'm sorry, you were locked out of your house by a rabbit?

Fluttershy: Yah. It happens sometimes.

Twilight Sparkle: Wha-- How would... How?

Fluttershy: I don't know.

Twilight Sparkle: I mean, it's a rabbit. How would it know how to do that?

Fluttershy: Man, I ask myself that question every day.

[Celestia calls out to Twilight Sparkle from a table.]

Twilight Sparkle: Okay, well maybe--

Celestia: Ah Twilight Sparkle! My faithful student!

Twilight Sparkle: [Long Gasp] Oh my god it’s her.

Celestia: Ha ha, yes! Did yah miss me?


[CUT TO: MAIN THEME]


[CUT TO: EXT. SUGAR CUBE CORNER - DAY Establishing shot:]


[CUT TO: INT. SUGAR-CUBE CORNER - DAY Celestia sits at a table with lot's of food.]

Celestia: So Twilight, been studying hard?

Twilight Sparkle: Yes, Princess!

Celestia: Been making friends?

Twilight Sparkle: Yes, Princess!

Celestia: Excellent. Aw, who's a good student?

[Beat.]

Twilight Sparkle: Me?

Celestia: That's right! It is you. Good goooood Twilight. Good Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle: Yay!

Fluttershy: Wow-- Um jeez, man.

Twilight Sparkle: So, Princess. What's the war like in the north?

[A series of artistic panels shows the events Celestia describes.]

Celestia: Ah yes. Well it's pretty rough out there. I remember a truly enormous battle. It was on the plains of the Ardennes. The fighting was fierce, and morale was low. [Earth soldiers hold their ground and fire gatling guns and rifles to an unseen enemy off screen.] Advancing on our positions were 300,000 walking corpses. [A sea of zombies over a battlefield as far as the eye can see.] For a time, it looked like all hope was lost. [Soldier with his hoof at his head in despair.] But then I arrived. [Celestia face with a smug smile.] With the help of my magic sun powers, we cut down through their ranks. [An epic scene where Celestia blows away a horde of Zombies with a beam of light.] By the end of the first day, 30,000 of them lay at our hooves. [Beat] Dead. [Beat] Well, dead, dead. You know, because-- Well they're zombies. You know. [Beat] Anyway, 2 days later victory was ours! [Dramatic beat.] So what stuff have you guys been up to?

Fluttershy: Um-- I was locked out of my house by a rabbit.

Celestia: Wow, that's great. You know stuff like that, is why I do it.

Charlene the Gossiper: Would you like another cupcake, your majesty?

Celestia: Yes. [Celestia eats it. Mouth full and to Fluttershy] So Butterfly, isn't it?

Fluttershy: Um, no.

Pinkie Pie: You gonna eat that!?

[She snatches a cupcake that Celestia was going to eat and gobbles it down. Close up on Celestia.]

Celestia: [In her mind] I had a sister who did that once. Once.

[Charlene gasps. She snatches Pinkie from the table. The cupcake is instantly replaced.]

Pinkie Pie: Hey!

Charlene the Gossiper: A thousand pardons your majesty!

Celestia: Oh it's quite alright. [Back to Fluttershy] Well, good news Butterfly, I have decided to give you a special job.

Fluttershy: Um... Is it dangerous or scary?

Celestia: No, not at all. I simply ask you take care of my pet bird for a while.

Fluttershy: What!? Why!?

Celestia: I've heard that you are good with animals.

Fluttershy: Where did you hear that!?

[Aberforth whispers into Celestia's ear.]

Aberforth: [Whisper] Um, your majesty? Luna just found out you were in ponyville and she's really angry.

Celestia: Ah of course. [Stands up.] Alas my dear little ponies. I must go back to Canterlot. You've all done very well!

Everyone: Thank you Princess Celestia!

[Celestia leaves. She hums "We Are The Champions" as she leaves.]

Fluttershy: Man! I'm not tying myself to a freak bird!

Twilight Sparkle: You have to. The request came from Celestia. Celestia tasks, she doesn't ask.

Fluttershy: But I don't want to do it!

Twilight Sparkle: You mess with the sun, she'll put you on the run.

Fluttershy: Okay, you need to quit it with that, man. Why me?! Why pick on me?!

Twilight Sparkle: Hey, it's not that bad. Maybe this will help you.

Fluttershy: Wha-- How!?

Twilight Sparkle: Well, maybe you can use this opportunity to learn why you’re afraid of animals.

Fluttershy: You mean like-- with experiments?

Twilight Sparkle: [With skepticism as Fluttershy clearly didn't get it] Uh. Sure.

Fluttershy: Well-- Okay. Maybe I can do it. Just as long as that thing stays in it's-- [We see the empty cage] Are you kidding me!


[CUT TO: EXT. CASTLE - DAY Establishing shot of the castle accompanied by Celestia's theme.]


[CUT TO: INT. CASTLE - DAY Celestia and Luna stand in front of the window.]

Celestia: Ah. That sweet, sweet music.

Luna: What the hell is wrong with you!?

Celestia: It's great to see you too.

Luna: Do you have any idea how worried i've been!? Every morning I would stare at the horizon and pray that the sun would come back up!

Celestia: Well your prayers were answered then, weren't they? And, you're welcome?

Luna: And then, not 20 minutes ago, I find out that you were in ponyville having a goddamn tea party!

Celestia: I was communing with my adoring subjects, spreading my princess love.

Luna: I am your sister!

Celestia: Yah--

Luna: Why was I the last person to find out about this!?

Celestia: I think you're making this bigger then it is, Luna.

Luna: No I am not making this bigger then it is! Normal ponies TELL their family whether or not they are alright! You were having a tea party! A happy little tea party in ponyville, while I suffered up here wondering whether or not you were dead or alive!

Celestia: Oh come on. I wasn't really in danger. I am the most powerful being the world who controls the largest object in our solar system. You think a few Zombies are gonna take me down? [Beat.] And you know-- I also just had to just mess with some ponies. Haven't really had a chance to do it in a few months few months.

Luna: You what!?


[CUT TO: Ext. Fluttershy's house - Day]

Text: LATER THAT DAY


[CUT TO: INT FLUTTERSHY’S HOUSE - DAY]

Fluttershy: Okay, bird. We're going to figure out why I'm so afraid of things like you. [Fluttershy sets the sick Bird on the couch. It tilts its head, making a breaking noise.] AHHHHH! [The Bird does it again.] Gah! Why are you doing that? Don't do that! [The Bird does it back and forth, making loud cracking sounds.] Aw no! No man! Oh my god! Stop it! Stop-- Stop doing that man! That's-- I think i'm gonna be sick.


[CUT TO: MONTAGE Fluttershy puts the bird on a bed.]

Fluttershy: Okay, man. First we're going to see if temperature affects my fear level. Scale of one to ten. [Fluttershy puts the thermometer in the bird’s mouth. It get’s really hot and the thermometer explodes.] Wow. That's-- Okay.


[CUT TO: INCENSE SCENE We see the sick bird sitting among the incense.]

Fluttershy: Next experiment. I'm going to see how different smells affect the fear. This is fresh pine. [Beat] Maybe just a four.


[CUT TO: WATER SCENE We see the sick bird in the tube.]

Fluttershy: And how about water? [The Bird absorbs the water and expands to an enormous size. Beat.]

Fluttershy: AH!


[CUT TO: OINTMENT SCENE We see the sick bird have ointment put on it.]

Fluttershy: Okay, I don't even know what this is, I found it under the couch. [The Bird gets warts all over itself.] Oh yeah, my Cronenberg lotion.


[CUT TO BATHROOM SCENE Fluttershy walks into her bathroom.]

Fluttershy: Oh great, you're in my bathroom. [Fluttershy presses a button on her humidifier.] Humidifier. [The room steams up. The Bird has a towel arounds it head and body.] Um. Did you put those towels on yourself? Okay that's really creepy. I mean you're a bird. How would you know how to do that? That's like an eight right there. Right up there with like, talking baby dolls, or something.

[Knock at the door.]


[CUT TO : INT. FLUTTERSHY'S LIVING ROOM - DAY Fluttershy walks over to the door.]

Fluttershy: Who's there?

[Twilight walks in.]

Twilight Sparkle: It's me. How is the bird sitting going?

Fluttershy: Ah, Twilight. Man, it seems-- no matter what I do, it just gets creepier.

Twilight Sparkle: What are you talking about?

Fluttershy: Well I've been doing all these experiments on it, like you suggested, you know to figure out why I'm so afraid of it.

Twilight Sparkle: What?! You've been experimenting on Celestia's pet? Are you insane? You're supposed to be caring for it!

Fluttershy: Well, yah-- But I mean-- what about me, man?

Twilight Sparkle: What about YOU!? What about IT?

Fluttershy: Well, I don't know man! I-- Hey, did we just leave the front door open?


[CUT TO: EXT: FLUTTERSHY’S HOUSE - DAY We see the bird running away from the house.]

Fluttershy: Oh no! Oh no! It's unleashed! It's unleashed! [Beat.] It's unleashed!

Twilight Sparkle: Shut up!


[CUT TO: EXT. TREE - DAY Twilight and Fluttershy rush out ingot the town.]

Fluttershy: Where did it go? Aw man. It must be terrified!

[The Bird rushes into a house.]

Twilight Sparkle: There it is! It went into that house! [Both Twilight and Fluttershy dive into the house and end up in a Scooby Doo door scene.] Oh no! OH NO!

Fluttershy: What!?

Twilight Sparkle: We're trapped in a Scooby Door door gag!

Fluttershy: AHHH! What do we do!?

Twilight Sparkle: I don't know, how do they normally get out of this?

Fluttershy: I don't know!

Twilight Sparkle: Let's just try to run through it. [They try to run through it but it doesn't work.] Damn it! It didn't work!

Fluttershy: What are we gonna do!?

Twilight Sparkle: I DON'T KNOW!

Fluttershy: We're trapped!

Twilight Sparkle: Ahhhh!

Fluttershy: Ahhhh!

[Fluttershy and Twilight ram into each other.]


[CUT TO: EXT. FOUNTAIN - DAY Fluttershy and spots the Bird.]

Fluttershy: There it is! [Catching site of the bird on the statue] It's looks scared to death, man! [Quietly] I know how it feels. [The bird loses its last feather and dies.] Aw no! NO!

[Fluttershy rushes to catch the bird. The bird explodes in a ball of flames. She gasps. Fluttershy lands under it, hooves outstretched; she catches nothing but ashes. Twilight, shocked, watches her nervously.]

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy. I--

Fluttershy: [Sad laugh] Why was I so scared of it, man? I mean it was just a sick little bird.

Twilight Sparkle: I-- Well--

Fluttershy: Just a sick little bird, and I didn't do anything to help it.

Twilight Sparkle: Well.

Fluttershy: The whole time, I was just thinking about how it could hurt me. I was cruel. Unloving.

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy... It's not--

Fluttershy: I should have been caring for it, man. Jesus, it's not the monster, I am. I should have shown it-- like-- [Beat] Like-- [Beat] Kindness I guess. [Fluttershy walks away.] I'll see you later Twilight.

[Twilight is speechless.]

Twilight Sparkle: Oh god, that was Celestia's bird!


[CUT TO: EXT. CASTLE - DAY Establishing shot of the castle accompanied by Celestia's theme.]


[CUT TO: INT. CASTLE - DAY Luna and Celestia are talking.]

Luna: No, Celestia! They're not gonna know what a phoenix is!

Celestia: I know! They're all gonna be like "Oh no! It's dead! Oh no-no. What cruel creatures are we!?"

Luna: That's not funny! That's a horrible thing to do! I can’t understand why Equestria hasn't gone to hell yet with you in charge!

Celestia: Luna, let me ask you a question. If there was a princess who did bad things but they always resulted in good things happening, would that princess be good?

Luna: No, she would be evil, that pretty much defines evil. That is evil.

Celestia: Then let's say there is a princess who always tried to do good, but it always seemed to result in evil. Would she be evil?

Luna: No, because at least she tries to be to do the right thing.

Celestia: Last question. [Beat] Which one would you want ruling the kingdom?


[CUT TO: EXT. FLUTTERSHY’S HOUSE - DAY Animals wander all around her house.]


[CUT TO: INT: FLUTTERSHY'S HOUSE - DAY Fluttershy is helping a mouse fix by wrapping it's leg with a bandage.]

Fluttershy: Okay little mouse, I hope that feels better. And sorry for trying to step on you earlier. [Rabbit runs up with his clock.] Ah! Oh, hi there. What is it? [Beat] Oh yah! I forgot about the picnic. Thank you so much, eh rabbit.


[CUT TO: EXT. FIELD AT A PICNIC - DAY Fluttershy is at a picnic with all the animals.]

Fluttershy: Okay, animals. I want to hear all about your week, who wants to go first.

Bear: I got locked out of my house by a rabbit.

Fluttershy: Hey. I feel you, man.


[CUT TO: The End]


Christmas Special

     
[FADE IN: EXT. CLOUD CITY - DAY Camera tilts down to Celestia and Luna standing in front of a crowd of Pegasus. There is a long pause.]

Celestia: Alright. Who did it.

[Pause.]

Random Pony: Did what?

Celestia: Oh you know! You know, what!

[Pause.]

Random Pony: No.

Celestia: My hair! Look at my hair! It's pink!

[Pause.]

Random Pony: Um.

Celestia: It is not supposed to be pink! It is supposed to be RAINBOW COLORED! Somepony snuck into my room in the dead of night, and died my hair pink, while I was asleep.

[Pause.]

Celestia: Now I know, it was one of you. You know... And I want the guilty party to step forward.

[Pause.]

Celestia: Okay. I see how it is. I'm going to give you 5 seconds to come out, or I will punish all of you.

[Snowdrop comes out from the crowd.]

Snowdrop: Hi guys. Sorry I'm late. What did I miss.

Celestia: You!!!!!!

Snowdrop: What?

Celestia: I knew it was you, de... little girl.

Luna: Celestia, I don't think she did it.

Celestia: Oh she did it! I can tell.

Luna: But she's blind... I don't think she even knows what pink is.

Celestia: But Luna don't you see? That's what she want's you to think! It's genius! No pony would suspect the little blind girl. On the outside she is a harmless little filly. But on the inside, she is a criminal mastermind!

Luna: Celestia.

Celestia: Everything she says is a lie! She does nothing but scheme! She is the shadow in the night that nopony sees coming! She is the ears in the walls that listens to your private conversations.

Random Pony: My god. She's so angry. Yet, she looks so calm.

Celestia: And she hates puppies, probably!

[Pause.]

Luna: Okay. I think we're done here. So we're gonna go now.

Celestia: No! She must be punished!

Luna: You know, I don't think that is necessary. We should just go home and have a nice long talk about this.

Celestia: Ba de.... Darn it.

[They fly off. There is a long pause.]

Snowdrop: What just happened. Were they talking about me?

[CUT TO: The End]


Halloween Special

     
[FADE IN: EXT. CELESTIA'S CASTLE - DAY Celestia and Luna are standing in front of a window.]

Luna: Nightmare Night?

Celestia: Ya. It's like a holiday they've made about you.

Luna: A holiday about me?

Celestia: Ya. It's really popular too.

Luna: My own Holiday…

Celestia: Ya... Maybe you should... check it out.

Luna: Ya... maybe I will.


[CUT TO: INT. LIBRARY - NIGHT Spike is pacing the library floor and waiting for Twilight to come down.]

Spike: Twi! Come on! What's taking so long?

[Twilight walks down.]

Spike: Whoa.

[Twilight walks around him.]

Spike: Uh... Are you supposed to be… Trixie?

Twilight Sparkle: Trixie!? No! I'm dressed up as Star Swirl the Bearded.

Spike: Uh... I don't think anyone will get it.

Twilight Sparkle: Princess Luna will. She was actually around when he was alive.

Spike: Wait!? The night princess? She's coming here?

Twilight Sparkle: Ya, Celestia asked me to show Luna around the festival.

Spike: Ah huh. Don't you think she might have a grudge against you? You know, after you melted her mind?

Twilight Sparkle: Oh... No... She's good now. She’s turned good!

Spike: You can’t just turn good or evil Twi… You know? You can't just have a spell that changes someone's perspective on life.

[Pause.]

Spike: There's a spell that changes someone's perspective on… okay yah.

Twilight Sparkle: Ya, there's a spell that... I think everything's going to be fine, you know?


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - NIGHT Dark clouds cover up the sky. Luna descends in a chariot. The atmosphere is scary and epic. She lands and steps off the chariot. She unveils her hood. All of the ponies around her bow.]

Luna: Um... Hi. Luna here.

[The ponies around her are still bowing.]

Luna: Uh... You all don't really have to bow.

[Twilight comes onto the scene.]

Twilight Sparkle: Princess!? Princess Luna!?

Luna: Hello?

Twilight Sparkle: Hi. I'm Twilight Sparkle, your guide. Welcome to Ponyville.

Luna: Uh, thank you. And yes, I know who you are…

Twilight Sparkle: Yah... Right.

[Pause.]

Luna: Um, you guys don't have to keep bowing.

Twilight Sparkle: So how was your trip?

Luna: It was fine.

Twilight Sparkle: Good.

[Pause.]

Luna: Okay, seriously, this is ridiculous. Is there a way to make them stop?


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - NIGHT Twilight and Luna walking in the festival.]

Twilight Sparkle: So we got. Pumpkin, catapulting... That's, quite pop… That’s a thing. Right there.


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - NIGHT There is a dance party going on.]

Twilight Sparkle: Um, we got some crazy dance party now… right there. That’s… you can see them dancing there.


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - NIGHT Spiders are crawling all over the place.]

Twilight Sparkle: I, oh... that looks kinda dangerous actually. I don't know what they're doing.

[A spider is crawling on Carrot Top’s face.]

Carrot Top: [Screams]

[Ponies are going crazy, and running everywhere.]

Luna: Oh jeez... um.

Twilight Sparkle: Is was just a spider!

[The crowd is still going crazy.]

Luna: Is this normal?

Twilight Sparkle: No, I...

[Something horrible happens to a pony.]

Luna: Ohhhhhh.

Twilight Sparkle: Ohhhhhh. Okay, let's... here, let's go somewhere else.


[CUT TO: EXT. FOREST - NIGHT Twilight and Luna stand in front of the Nightmare Moon altar.]

Twilight Sparkle: So this is the Nightmare Moon Statue. Children come and offer their candy here for Nightmare Moon, so that she will eat it, instead of eating them.

Luna: What!? That sounds horrible. I would never do that.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh well, it's only a story.

Luna: But, you tell this to children?

Twilight Sparkle: Well... No one really believes it.... I mean, ponies really just like to dress up and party on Nightmare Night.

Luna: [Sigh]

Twilight Sparkle: It really is a great holiday Luna. It’s the most popular at least.

[Pause.]

Luna: Ha, that seems hard to believe. What about Celestia's holiday? The summer sun celebration?

Twilight Sparkle: Well, it's more important I guess, but I gotta admit, this is way more fun.

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: So what's it like, living with the Princess?

Luna: What?

Twilight Sparkle: I bet you learn a lot from her.

Luna: Huh. Ya, I guess you could say that.

Twilight Sparkle: She's great, right? She's so wise and powerful.

Luna: I'm kinda surprised that you like her that much.

Twilight Sparkle: What do you mean?

Luna: Well she always sends you and your friends off on dangerous missions without any guidance or help.

Twilight Sparkle: Well, I guess we don't need help.

Luna: But she sent you to fight a dragon! Don't you think that was a bit much?

Twilight Sparkle: Well, I guess she probably thought we could handle it.

Luna: But you could have died!

Twilight Sparkle: But we didn't. Everything worked out. She knows what she's doing.

Luna: [Sigh] I can't win, can I?

Twilight Sparkle: Well she is the Princess.

Luna: Ya. I don't need reminding.

Twilight Sparkle: Is something wrong, Luna?

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: Luna?

Luna: I... You don't know what's it's like. Living with Celestia. She always makes these crazy, immoral decisions, and yet they always turn out fine.

Twilight Sparkle: Well... She's been around for like, 1000 years or so.

Luna: So have I!

Twilight Sparkle: Well you were on the moon.

Luna: Yah, I know! But at least I learned some humility! Celestia is still so self centered!

[Pause.]

Luna: I just... For once, I just want some respect. No pony takes me seriously.

[Pause.]

Twilight Sparkle: That's not true. You raise and lower the moon. And... This is Nightmare Night. This is your night. You have an entire day dedicated to you.

Luna: Ya, as a monster.

Twilight Sparkle: You are a living legend!

Luna: Ya, the legend of an evil monster! I don't want to be that. I want to be a leader. I want to be a pony that is loved by her subjects, and not feared.

Twilight Sparkle: Well… Well why don't we show them that then? Come on, let's go back to the festival. Let’s show them who you really are.

[Pause.]

Luna: Okay.


[CUT TO: EXT. PONYVILLE - NIGHT A kid is about to fall in a bucket of apples. Applejack saves him.]

Kid: AHHHHH.

Applejack: Jeez! Careful there, kid.

[Luna and Twilight walk over to Applejack. Applejack sees them gasps.]

Applejack: [Gasp]

Twilight Sparkle: Uh. Applejack. It's okay. She's not gonna hurt you.

Applejack: Twilight... Why are you dressed up like Trixie?

[Twilight makes a face.]

Twilight Sparkle: [Angry grunt]

Applejack: H-Hey there. Princess. Listen, I'm real sorry about the whole... mind melting thing. I didn't know that was gonna happen.

Luna: Um. It's... fine.

Twilight Sparkle: Sooo Applejack, the Princess would you care to show her some games.

Applejack: Uh, yeah sure.

[Luna looks down at a bunch of spiders in a bowl.]

Luna: Um. What am I supposed to do?

Applejack: Toss the spider and try to land it on the web.

[Luna tosses the spider and misses the web.]

Applejack: You can do it Princess!

Crowd Pony: Oh my god. Look, it's Princess Luna.

[Luna tries again and this time she makes it.]

Luna: Huh. This is kinda fun.

[A crowd of ponies cheers for Luna. Montage of Luna playing games with other ponies.]


[CUT TO: INT. LIBRARY - NIGHT Twilight and Spike are talking.]

Twilight Sparkle: You know. I think I did something good today.

Spike: Oh really? What?

Twilight Sparkle: I helped Luna realize that she's important, and just as respectable as Celestia.

Spike: Well duh. Celestia sucks.

Twilight Sparkle: Whoa... No she doesn't.

Spike: Ya she does. Luna is best Princess, by far.

Twilight Sparkle: No...

[CUT TO: The End]


Lord Tirek Short

     
[EXT. DARK ALLEY - NIGHT an innocent pony walks home with a bucket of oranges. The street is deserted and eerie. He hears a noise from behind and looks around, but it is only an empty can. He laughs to himself and turns to continue, but comes face to face with an ominous hooded figure, Lord Tirek. Tirek breaths heavily.]

Innocent Pony: Oh, i'm sorry. I didn't see you there.

Lord Tirek: Is he friend or is he foe, the pony wonders…

[Innocent Pony looks confused and a bit scared.]

Lord Tirek: Well I can assure you my friend, I am no frie-- crap, I messed that up.

[Without warning the mane 6 show up out of nowhere, accompanied by a stinger (harmony!).]

Lord Tirek: What!?

Twilight Sparkle: Lord Tyrik!

Pinkie Pie: Uh. Tirek.

Twilight Sparkle: Tirek. We are the Elements of Harmony! And by order of Princess Celestia, we have come to send you back... to HELL!

Lord Tirek: No!

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