|Princess Celestia Hates Tea|
The story's cover art
|Writer(s)||Jeffrey C. Wells|
|Date published||May 30, 2012|
|Related to||A Short Story by Twilight Sparkle|
|Show connection||A Canterlot Wedding|
Princess Celestia Hates Tea is a comedy written by Jeffrey C. Wells. It is set some time after the events of A Canterlot Wedding. The plot revolves around the idea of Princess Celestia having a strong hatred towards tea.
The story is written in the first-person, present tense, from Celestia's point of view. The story is split into two parts. The first part details the events leading up to the kingdom discovering Celestia's secret. The second part details the aftermath of the event.
The story begins with Princess Celestia receiving a cup of expertly brewed tea from her Royal Tea Stewardess Mrs. Cozy. After conversing with her about all the splendid teas she will be having today, Celestia dumps her tea onto a potted plant as soon as the brewer is out of sight.
Later that day, Celestia goes for her traditional tea time with Twilight Sparkle. Twilight has just gotten back from India and has brought her mentor a present: expensive foreign tea. Twilight, however immediately notices the disappointment in Celestia's face. This causes Celestia some guilt so she decides to confide in her most faithful student a secret she told nopony else. She starts by saying "The truth is... I really don't like tea" and then goes on to tell a long story about how Princess Luna had gotten her a tea set a few hundred years back as a present, and she had been too humble to tell her that she didn't really like tea. She also rambles on about then being in charge of tea-trade negotiations and in the very end everybody assumed her favorite drink was tea.
Celestia only then realizes that Twilight has long since left. She sets off after her student and runs into one of her most trusted guards, Sergeant Hoplite. Upon asking for the whereabouts of Twilight, Hoplite tackles Celestia to the ground, as Twilight had run off and told everypony that Celestia was in fact Queen Chrysalis, and the guard thus refuses to unhand Celestia, despite her pleas. Shining Armor then appears and traps Celestia in a barrier which does not allow sound to travel from the inside out. Every time Celestia dispels the barrier, Shining Armor simply casts another one.
The next thing to happen is the Mane 6 appearing whilst wielding the Elements of Harmony. They use the Elements on Celestia but she is unfazed by the attack. Celestia tries to reason with the group, but to no avail. Luna then appears whereupon Celestia turns to her for help, only to be rejected. Twilight and friends fire yet another blast of harmony at Celestia which causes the alicorn a little pain as her defenses weaken. Twilight, wondering why the Elements are having such little effect, asks Luna how to set them to the "Banish to the moon" setting. Luna proceeds to brief Twilight with a short tutorial. Celestia, now not just annoyed but a tad panicked, uses her Royal Canterlot Voice (magically enhanced so that all of Equestria may hear her) to announce her dislike for tea.
The next day, Celestia is swamped by merchants, traders, cafe owners, and whoever else was affected by the news that the country's favorite drink is frowned upon by its ancient ruler. Celestia promptly prohibits tea business for the rest of the day whereupon Twilight enters followed by Mrs. Cozy. Mrs. Cozy is in tears from the knowledge that Celestia had in fact not enjoyed a single cup of her tea for the past many years. Celestia tries to console her, but with little success. Twilight then reveals to Celestia that she initially hated tea too but had forced herself to like it since Celestia, being her role-model, liked it. So thus Celestia's announcement sounded like betrayal to her too. Twilight then asks Celestia a request: That she let her be at her side whilst she conducts tea business the next day. She claims to have an idea that will fix everything. Celestia, doubtful about this, gives Twilight permission nonetheless.
The day after that, Celestia is standing in front of an angry mob of tea-related folk and is about to give her statement. Suddenly, however, Twilight takes the stage and addresses the crowd. She blames Celestia's sudden dislike for tea on leftover chaotic energy from the Discord incident. She then volunteers herself to be the one to cast a memory spell on Celestia so that she may re-live every single tea experience she ever had, and thus, allow her to return to normal. Celestia, despite knowing full well that Discord had nothing to do with any of this, realizes that this will fix everything; and she reluctantly agrees.
The whole process takes twenty-four hours due to the sheer length of time Celestia has hated tea. And to top it off, after the deed is done, she is charged with drinking yet one more cup of tea in front of a large audience, in order to prove she actually returned to "normal". Celestia uses all of her remaining willpower to drain the cup. She then smiles and compliments the tea. All of Equestria cheers the return of their leader's "normal" state of mind and peace, and harmony is restored throughout the land.
The story holds a Star-5 ranking on Equestria Daily.
The fanfiction has been adapted into a comic by Mister-Saugrenu on deviantART. The comic remains faithful to the original story.
A Short Story by Twilight Sparkle
| A Short Story|
by Twilight Sparkle
The story's cover art on FIMFiction
|Writer(s)||Jeffrey C. Wells|
|Date published||June 5, 2012|
|Type/genre||Slice of Life|
|Related to||Princess Celestia Hates Tea|